The Five Worst Movie Listicles Ever
Would you believe Simon Dillon wrote all of them?
Simon Dillon is well known for outrageous comments and comparable hairstyles, but are you aware of his “ill-informed, very much so biased, and full of idiotic choices” movie listicles?
The five lists below are the top of the worst. I don’t recommend reading any of them. Do as I did and scroll through some (remember to stop before the end so that the “read” will not register).
My Ten Favourite Controversial Films
Why the list is outrageous
It’s the least controversial list of controversial films one could think of. It includes Reservoir Dogs, The Clockwork Orange, and The Exorcist. What a BIG surprise. #sarcasm
The one movie where we agree
Love Exposure (2008). I saw this movie three times, and each time, more than half of the public left before the end.
My Ten Favourite Cinematic Car Chases
Why the list is a nonsense
Listen, I understand the appeal of movie listicles. I wrote one myself. And I understand the need to keep faithful readers entertained. I even organized a Scrabble challenge recently! But a listicle about cinematic car chases is too much. It screams the blogger who can’t write anything else but listicles and is ready to write anything to keep people coming to his profile. What’s next? “My Ten Favourite Cinematic Microwave Scenes?”
The one movie where we agree
The Blues Brothers (1980). I watched it during a bus trip from Boston to Phoenix and had to get off the bus in the middle because the car chase scared me. A great scene.
My Ten Favourite Disney Animated Films
Why the list is crap
It contains only two movies released after 1992. Did Simon stop watching movies, or is he so pretentious as to pretend nothing good came out in the last thirty years?! Outrageous.
The one movie where we agree
Tangled (2010). I fell in love with my neighbor during this movie, and we dated for ten years.
Favourite Films From Every Year I’ve Been Alive: Part One, Two, and Three.
Why the lists are boring
I’m glad Simon isn’t eighty years old. This merciful fact limited his answer to this stupid prompt to three parts. On the other hand, I’m sad he wasn’t born one year earlier because at least we would have had “The Godfather Part II” on the list, arguably the best sequel of all time.
The one movie where we agree
I won’t go into details, but I have a different favorite movie for each of these years, except for Parasite (2019). I could identify with the characters because I am a parasite too. This list of lists written by someone else attests to the fact.
Ten Great Films Under 90 Minutes
Why the list exists
I don’t know, and I think it should not. The only positive aspect is that the corresponding article is relatively short. Even Simon Dillon didn’t dare write one of his lengthy tirades to talk about short movies. Thankfully.
The one movie where we agree
Call me a snowflake or whatever you want, but Bambi (1942) is a fabulous animated film. It’s a timeless classic that doesn’t need a remake, which of course means that Disney is preparing one. Here’s cheering for a time when Disney’s artistic choices were bolder and seemingly less dictated by greed.
Bonus: Three Extreme Cinema Guilty Pleasures
Why is the list a bonus
It is the exception to the rule. It’s telling that Simon didn’t give us more than three movies in this list, but at least he got them right.
The one movie where we agree the most
I agree with all of Simon’s choices here, but the one I agree with the most is Event Horizon (1997). Pure crap and pure cult.
You’re — of course, welcome to have different opinions, but let’s be honest here, and all agree that at least 9 of Simon Dillon’s lists deserve to be on the top 10 worst movie listicles ever.
That’s not the worst, though.
The worst of the worst is that Simon Dillon is extremely prolific. I’m sure he wrote more than 100 movie listicles, making him the likely winner of any Top 100 Worst Movie Listicles Ever and a VERY strong contender for the Top 1,000 Worst Movie Listicles that I plan on writing next month.
I’m not sure why anybody would want to do that, but if you want more about Simon Dillon and his writing on Medium, please click here. For information on his writing outside Medium, please click here. For a list of his published novels and other works, please click here.
Final words: if this listicle gets 1,000 claps, I will write a part II. Be warned.
