Stop Asking Me Why I Am Single
You’re too pretty to be single.
“When are you going to get into a relationship? When are you going to settle down? When are you going to married? When are you going to have kids?”
People in my life — family, relatives, friends, even strangers ask me this very same question almost every day. If only google can help them find the answer, it will come in trending topics.
Even if they know me for like my entire life, it’s more of a mystery that they want to solve more than anything in this world. More than the mystery of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 or even Bermuda Triangle.
The people who just met me, for them it’s like a conversation starter to know my status or an ice breaker question — not sure from where they got the manual.
Am I dating someone, or have I found “the one” why because you are not complete unless you get married.
Imagine if I came up to you and said, “Wow I can’t believe that you are still married!” You might get offended. That’s how it feels when everyone I meet immediately wants to give me their feedback on my lack of relationship status.
Out of all the topics of conversation that could be brought up, that was the subject you chose to ask me about? What about my career? My passions? My aspirations and achievements?
In your quick evaluation of my life — my relationship status, you decided that I was either not following the conventional society standards of getting married and settling down or not able to keep a man in my life, or that I wasn’t focused on getting married. As soon as I respond, the next question comes with a lighting speed, or anything fast that you can consider, “Why is it so?”
I completely understand where you’re coming from. A hot and successful woman like me? Single? How! Perhaps I love the single life, no obligation, no rules, and no restriction.
Maybe you are genuinely interested in why I haven’t yet got myself a man, but to me this question can feel offensive.
No, I haven’t followed the conventional society standard of getting married and starting a family in my mid twenties.
But you know what I have done? I’ve started a career, I’ve learned more about myself than I thought was possible, and I’ve met some of the greatest people I can imagine.
No, technically, I can’t keep a man in my life. But you know what? I’ve ditched half of the guys that haven’t been good enough and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. These guys were not my forever… So why waste time keeping someone around just so I’m not alone?
Being single used to mean that on one wanted you, now it means you are pretty sexy and taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to be.
Look, I get it, being in a relationship is the holy grail to some. But if you choose the wrong grail like in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, a relationship can turn your ass to dust.
I think there is nothing else to talk about with even friends I chose to stay in touch with. Most of the people I stay connected with are female and happily married with kids. And the conversations I’m not interested in hearing about pregnancies, babies, motherhood and marriage and dating, though, I’m female.
I am working, smart, intelligent, beautiful ( btw I am none just to set the record). Maybe at this age I become over qualified to get married.
As a result, there are those of us that love being single. We enjoy frivolous adventures, coming home when we want, and not having to figure someone else out. Needless to say, there are benefits to both — but one shouldn’t be frowned upon while the other is looked at the life-giver.
Being an attractive person doesn’t mean you’re always supposed to be hitched-up, dating, or in a relationship with someone. The entire “shock” around realizing someone attractive is single continues to elude and vex me daily.
Attractiveness does not equal relationships.
I can’t wrap this up in a tidy bow for you. I can’t say that being single feels like a gift. We live in a broken world, and we don’t always get what we want. But there is good news.
I have a great life, and there’s more to come. I have everything just I’m not married. And you know what? If not getting married is the worst thing that happens in my life, then I think I’m pretty lucky.
Be Bold
Be Courageous
Be Your Best
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