POLITICS
Republican David Eastman Preaches Violently Abusing Kids to Death So Government Won’t Waste Money on Childcare
Can’t help abused children if they’re no longer alive
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Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes.
Five hundred, twenty five thousand moments with tears.
Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes.
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights? In cups of coffee
In beatings? In whips? In money taken by a Nazi.
Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes.
How do you measure a year under Gaddafi?
The revised Seasons of Love will be what victims of domestic abuse will be singing if Republican Senator David Eastman has his way.
The die-hard Trump supporter took his MAGA fandom to such extreme levels that we thought he advocated for Donald Trump’s micro-penis rape.
Eastman, or formerly known as Marjorie Taylor Peen, argued that children committing suicide from domestic violence will benefit the nation as a whole.
“In the case where child abuse is fatal, obviously it’s not good for the child, but it’s actually a benefit to society because there aren’t needs for government services and whatnot over the whole course of the child’s life.”
Eastman defended his ability to see the silver lining of death.
“I understand that people will scorn my contempt for these chubby cheeked shit machines. However, children are the reasons why I can’t give tax breaks to corporate billionaires.
“Children are a drain of financial resources. They eat up years of parents’ lives on nothing. Parents are sleep deprived, lethargic, fatter, and angrier at raising these selfish brats who have no care in the world. We could help them by lowering their taxes and paying them more, but then we Republican politicians won’t get our six figure Christmas bonuses!
“And don’t get me started on disabled children. Half the nation rejects logic, science, and health over a disproven theory that vaccines cause autism. So many people would rather have a dead child than a live autistic child. Why? Because they don’t want to raise retards who spend months learning that the earth is flat!
“Even the government wants nothing to do with kids. They allow 100,000 kids to stay in the US Foster Care System, even though its the worst place for child’s mental health and upbringing. 30% of kids develop severer emotional, behavioral, and developmental problems when switching from one exhausted foster parent to another. They have a better chance of development in a Youngstown crack house. At least that town puts more emphasis on the young.
“If it were up to me, kids should have been aborted. But no way the government is going to pay for them. We’re not going to give pregnant teen girls a free trip to Anchorage just to visit the city’s state-of-the-art abortion clinic. They’re just finding a loophole for a free vacation!
“People should find ways to kill their kids without relying on government aid. That’s what the anti-vaxxers did, right? They ignored Dr. Fauci so that they can avoid raising children.”
We reached out to Eastman on why he’s against the government helping out disadvantaged children.
“Have you seen how much Social Security would skyrocket? It would make the national debt ten times worse! Who knew researching medical advancements would actually make the boomers live longer!
“We don’t have money to help everyone. We need to let people die so that our economy can function. Why else would Ron Johnson sue Mark Cuban for making medicine affordable?
“The economy is our god. The value of a piece of paper is greater than the value of a human life. Why else would Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick start an OnlyFans to keep Texas’s economy afloat?
“We need to sacrifice our humanity for the greater good. Children will die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”
Eastman’s comments were so vile that GOP Chairman Ronna McDaniel had to distance herself from the representative.
“Eastman’s views are not reflective of the GOP as a whole. For Alaska’s GOP, yes. Alaskan Republicans are a bunch of weirdos. All that snow froze the rest of their brain cells. Why else would they support QAnon?
“Don’t believe me? Look at Sarah Palin. That dimwit tanked Senator John McCain’s presidential race so poorly that we had to suffer through 8 years under a Democrat. I don’t care if President Barack Obama was competent. He’s not a Republican! He was America’s biggest threat to the white man since Abraham Lincoln!
“Alaskan Republicans really have a hard on for abuse of citizens. Are they influenced by Russia’s Vladimir Putin? Makes sense, since they can see his country straight from their backyard.”
Disclaimer: This is true.
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