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fied by the Twitter bot as fake news</a>? Kudos to Musk for not taking down that bot. We, the public, are now aware that billionaires are full of shit.</i></p></blockquote><blockquote id="bc2c"><p><i>“Musk has pivoted Twitter as a ‘voice’ for the ‘victims of woke culture’. Are they really victims when they chose to spend their free time firing off dumb, racist conspiracy theories from their mothers’ basements?</i></p></blockquote><blockquote id="d404"><p><i>“Regardless, Musk created a platform to give these imbeciles a voice. This man managed to congregate all these fascist morons in one place. Now, the FBI can track down all the people who stormed the capitol!</i></p></blockquote><blockquote id="180e"><p><i>“Musk’s support of violent tweets and fake news from poor, white trash gives us sane people cheap entertainment in less than a minute. Who knew 280 characters provided more humor and schadenfreude for us than 280 minutes of Kardashians crying on television? Did Musk create a new comedy content medium that could surpass TikTok?</i></p></blockquote><blockquote id="2f41"><p><i>“Most importantly, Musk used Twitter to take down oppressors of Democracy. Florida Governor Ron <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/tech/twitter-spaces-glitches-ron-desantis-musk-b2345431.html">DeSantis’s campaign launch on Twitter Spaces</a> was ridiculed for poor audio quality, several minutes of silence, random throat clearing, and mumbles of poor performance. Or as his wife describes it, their honeymoon sex tape.</i></p></blockquote><blockquote id="6c56"><p><i>“Musk apologized to the Dade County Dictator for screwing him over. However, we discovered that Musk scheduled to move 700 Twitter servers from Sacramento, California to Portland, Oregon in three days! <a href="https://futurism.com/elon-musk-moved-twitter-servers-himself">Doing so in such efficiency cut so many corners and security protocols</a> that Twitter was destabilized for two whole months! DeSantis’s campaign launch had so many glitches because Musk screwed him over!</i></p></blockquote><blockquote id="8f86"><p><i>“Had Musk followed his data engineers’ recommendations and approved the six month transfer/data backup/server wiping, then the Twitter Spaces glitches wouldn’t have happened. Did Musk sabotage DeSantis because he loved Trump that much?</i></p></blockquote><blockquote id="4831"><p><i>“Musk might be the first man to save democracy via capitalism. We can’t think of anyone better than him to win this award.”</i></p></blockquote><p id="a12f">We were amazed at Musk’s rebrand. We haven’t seen anyone put a positive spin on his brain-dead actions since Netflix portrayed him as a feminist icon.</p><div id="5fb2" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/netflix-defends-portraying-billionaire-man-child-elon-musk-as-a-feminist-icon-699119a1d087"> <div> <div> <h2>Netflix Defends Portraying Billionaire Man-Child Elon Musk as a Feminist Icon</h2> <div><h3>X Gon Give it To Ya</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*WMitKXeRIa3WY9Mgwipteg.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="074a">We joined on Twitter Spaces to congratulate Musk personally. But Spaces shut down 30 seconds after we joined.</p><h2 id="8e6a">Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are entirely fictional. It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now.</h2><p id="882b">— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —</p><p id="416c"

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TECHNOLOGY, POLITICS

Elon Musk Wins Bob Hope Humanitarian Award for Taking Down Ron DeSantis

Better fight than his one with Mark Zuckerberg

Elon Musk grins, as he’s done what Donald Trump failed to do. Picture from Deadline.

Who knew the fate of America depended on the world’s richest man-child?

Elon Musk once vowed two years ago that he’ll become the next Donald Trump. Up till now , he’s done the exact opposite. Musk has accomplished what Trump failed to become: a respected human being.

Musk is revered for devoted his life to destroying threats of humanity.

  • He destroyed gas guzzlers and climate change threats by introducing electric cars.
  • He destroyed America’s low fertility rates by procreating with his Tesla employees.
  • He destroyed hate speech and misinformation by buying and destroying Twitter.

Now, Musk has destroyed the Republican Party. Which, in this day and age, isn’t exactly an impressive feat. The Republican Party imploded so much that MAGA influencer Donald Trump switched to the other side.

Regardless, an accomplishment is an accomplishment. According to the Board of Governors of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences. Production Executive Head David Hartle took to X to congratulate Musk on being the latest recipient of the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award.

“The Bob Hope Humanitarian Award recognizes contributions to growth and development of broadcasting in radio and television as both a family medium and a platform for political and social commentary. Only four people in history have won this award. It’s time we make Elon Musk the fifth.

“Musk’s acquisition of Twitter has done so much for broadcasting news. Especially when it comes to identifying misinformation. Who knew all of Musk’s tweets were identified by the Twitter bot as fake news? Kudos to Musk for not taking down that bot. We, the public, are now aware that billionaires are full of shit.

“Musk has pivoted Twitter as a ‘voice’ for the ‘victims of woke culture’. Are they really victims when they chose to spend their free time firing off dumb, racist conspiracy theories from their mothers’ basements?

“Regardless, Musk created a platform to give these imbeciles a voice. This man managed to congregate all these fascist morons in one place. Now, the FBI can track down all the people who stormed the capitol!

“Musk’s support of violent tweets and fake news from poor, white trash gives us sane people cheap entertainment in less than a minute. Who knew 280 characters provided more humor and schadenfreude for us than 280 minutes of Kardashians crying on television? Did Musk create a new comedy content medium that could surpass TikTok?

“Most importantly, Musk used Twitter to take down oppressors of Democracy. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s campaign launch on Twitter Spaces was ridiculed for poor audio quality, several minutes of silence, random throat clearing, and mumbles of poor performance. Or as his wife describes it, their honeymoon sex tape.

“Musk apologized to the Dade County Dictator for screwing him over. However, we discovered that Musk scheduled to move 700 Twitter servers from Sacramento, California to Portland, Oregon in three days! Doing so in such efficiency cut so many corners and security protocols that Twitter was destabilized for two whole months! DeSantis’s campaign launch had so many glitches because Musk screwed him over!

“Had Musk followed his data engineers’ recommendations and approved the six month transfer/data backup/server wiping, then the Twitter Spaces glitches wouldn’t have happened. Did Musk sabotage DeSantis because he loved Trump that much?

“Musk might be the first man to save democracy via capitalism. We can’t think of anyone better than him to win this award.”

We were amazed at Musk’s rebrand. We haven’t seen anyone put a positive spin on his brain-dead actions since Netflix portrayed him as a feminist icon.

We joined on Twitter Spaces to congratulate Musk personally. But Spaces shut down 30 seconds after we joined.

Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are entirely fictional. It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Thanks for reading!

If you want to read and laugh more, visit Doctor Funny’s homepage.

If you want to read more of my work, see my profile’s Table of Contents page.

If you think I’m funny enough to brighten your day, then follow me to get updates on my future work. The more you read my work, the more I get paid.

Seriously. Please read my work. I desperately need money to pay off my debts to the Yakuza.

View more pieces from Doctor Funny

Humor
Politics
Satire
Technology
Humanity
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