TECHNOLOGY, ENTERTAINMENT
Netflix Defends Portraying Billionaire Man-Child Elon Musk as a Feminist Icon
X Gon Give it To Ya
Elon Musk once said
“If you take a shot every time Barbie says the word ‘patriarchy’, you will pass out before the movie ends.”
Turns out there’s another way to pass out quicker. Watch Netflix’s recent press release.
Consumers around the world were stunned when Netflix dropped a new television series about the tech scam artist. No, Musk hasn’t scammed anyone yet. Unless you consider him duping the world that he’s a genius in tech, despite not knowing the basics of software engineering.
Furthermore, Musk didn’t even design Tesla. That honor goes to JB Straubel. Musk just marketed Tesla as his own so well that we thought he was Thomas Edison.
Despite Musk masquerading as a tech guru, the blood emerald billionaire isn’t a scam artist for those reason. Musk is a scam artist because he chose to become one of the greatest grifters in American history: Donald Trump.
Musk’s career pivot to a fraudster convinced Netflix to promote a docuseries on him. Glorifying crooks’ lifestyles is the staple of Netflix content.
- Inventing Anna — Anna Sorokin was hailed as a heroine among poor women for scamming wealthy socialites.
- Tinder Swindler — Simon Leviev was haled as a hero among incels for using his Don Jon charisma to win over hearts of beautiful women and steal their money.
- Untold Johnny Football — Johnny Manziel was hailed as a hero among fraternity brothers for duping the Cleveland Browns into drafting him. Actually, this feat isn’t that impressive. First, his agent Erik Burkhardt worked overtime to cover up Manziel’s drinking/drug usage and poor work ethic during the draft combine. Second, it’s the Cleveland Browns. Owner Jimmy Haslem was dumb enough to waste a first round pick on Manziel after being convinced by a homeless dude.
We were surprised, however, that Netflix decided to paint Musk not as a disgraced politician, but as a feminist icon. A strange title for the man who joined conservatives in slamming Barbie for “promoting the feminist agenda” and “turning everyone gay.”
We reached out to Netflix CEO Reed Hastings for his creative decision.
“I have no input in Musk’s storytelling. I gave all creative control to Shonda Rhimes. Considering she turned Sorokin into a savior for poor women, she must have done the same for Musk.”
We reached out to Rhimes for her reasoning.
“Con artist stories have been the bread and butter of entertainment. Working class Americans can only dream of being as rich as the top 1%. Why else would they waste their free time watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians?
“While we marvel at the luxuries the rich can live out, we still want to see them suffer. Why should they get to enjoy life’s limited resources just because they were born in fame and money? They are unaware of traditional problems normal Americans face, and we want them to get a harsh taste of reality.
“Con artists in Hollywood have been portrayed as the Robin Hoods. They pretend to be rich just so they can steal from the rich. Sorokin won over the trust of the socialites just by flaunting opulence she paid for on their credit cards. Levin charmed women by paying for plane trips on their credit cards. Proof that even the smartest of civilians can turn into idiots upon facing extravagant wealth.
“Victims shelled out $10,000+ to help out Sorokin and Levin on their struggles. Why? Cause they consider them “close friends.” I would never trust close friends of mine with that kind of money. I can’t even trust them to arrive on time!
“However, not all our viewers like this wealthy deceit. No matter how dumb the rich are, some people are uncomfortable with hustlers swindling from the mentally disabled. We need to add another angle to portray the scammer as a one vs the world. A David vs Goliath story will get more viewers onboard. By portraying Musk as a feminist icon, I’m getting the audience to root for his efforts to overthrow the patriarchy.”
We asked Rhimes how she would ever go about accomplishing this gargantuan task.
“Why, it’s because of Elon Musk’s Twitter rebrand! He rebranded the site as X. This is so confusing. Every time I click on the X tab, my internet browsers close.
“This dude is obsessed with this letter. He tried to rebrand Paypal X.com. He named his son with the letter X. He broke up with Amber Heard just so he can brag that he had an X.
“This dude would go so far with his infatuation that he would destroy Twitter. Again.
“Fortunately for Musk, women have XX chromosomes. Men have XY chromosomes. Double the X, double the pleasure. We can use Musk’s obsession with an alphabet letter to channel into supporting humans with only X chromosomes.”
We reached out to Musk on his portrayal of being a feminist. Musk was furious.
“I could NEVER be a man hater. I may be like Trump, but I REFUSE to imitate his feminist traits. Trump will grab woman of low quality by the pussy. He will marry them and discard them for younger models and porn stars. Trump’s horniness is a warning to women who don’t study and focus on themselves.
“Women shouldn’t have independence! Their only purpose in life is populating the world! I’ll sue Netflix for defamation!”
Musk then reached out to Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg on advice to handle lawsuits on unfair portrayals in the media. Zuckerberg stated that he felt Musk’s pain, as he was portrayed as a capitalistic psychopath in The Social Network. However, Zuckerberg refused to help out Musk as the Tesla CEO was suing him for creating Threads as a competitor to X.
Furthermore, Zuckerberg said that he needed every preparation to beat Musk in their upcoming boxing match.
Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are entirely fictional. It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now.
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