Elon Musk Graciously Accepts New Responsibility as Donald Trump

Just when you think a man who runs 8 companies has too much on his plate, he still finds time to take on more.

After going on an 89-hour Twitter marathon, Elon Musk took a break to make a public announcement.

“It’s been a little over a month since Trump left, and the world is going crazy for not having a brain-dead, neurotic psychopath helming Twitter. I gladly champion myself to fill in the massive shoes he left behind.

“The world needs another eccentric, crazy leader to disrupt the stock market, falsely accuse experts, ruin people’s identities, lose billions of dollars, and claim theft of unique ideas. I can’t think of no other person better than myself to take up the mantle on Twitter.”

Musk then listed his proven track record for creating societal chaos

• calling an expert in submarine engineering a pedophile just because he questioned Musk’s flawed intelligence of naval designs instead of praising Musk’s heart
• putting the economy over people by reopening Tesla factories and disregarding COVID policies
• surging and sinking prices in Tesla and Bitcoin in under 140 characters
• lobbying to break up Amazon for their refusal to publish misinformation/COVID skepticism
• stealing weird ideas from others and passing them off as his own (Not-A-Flamethrower, farting unicorn mug art)
• announced that he secured funding to take Tesla private, then spent the whole day with investors telling them that he’s broke
• getting salty that he’s not the richest man in the world, let alone richer than Jeff Bezos

Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey warned that any misinformation Musk spreads could violate the terms and conditions, possibly resulting in a ban from the platform. Musk responded by calling Dorsey a child rapist.

Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are entirely fictional. It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now

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