Self-Care | Commitment | Healing

Do You Struggle With Self-Care? You’re Definitely Not Alone.

Here’s what I’m going to do about it

“Acknowledge, accept, and honour that you deserve your own deepest compassion and love.” – Nanette Mathews

Hello, beloved Pub Family and all others who drop by!

As the current year draws to a close, many of us will be contemplating what it meant to us, how it changed us, and what might be waiting for us in the coming 12 months. The end of a year is often a time of deep reflection and redefining goals, dreams, our deepest hopes and wishes.

I’ve been thinking about how far I’ve come on my 14-month (so far) healing journey from the awful day last year when I sustained a significant injury. I do my best not to contemplate how far I still have to go before I can walk properly and unassisted again, have the full use of my leg, and have my life back.

As someone who has always been quite driven and loves to be busy, I’ve been known to have a terrible time slowing down and allowing myself the rest and relaxation I need. But I’ve been forced to do it because this injury caused a rare condition known as CRPS. Not only does it mean slower healing of the injury, it has added all sorts of weird and seemingly unrelated symptoms and pain, making every day something of an adventure.

For the first several months, I had an awful lot of pain and very little sleep. I was unbearably exhausted and had no interest in doing anything. I had zero energy. Zero desire to write or draw or do anything beyond nap or watch Netflix. It was easy to rest, rest, rest, rest, and … yep, you guessed it … rest.

However, in the last 3 to 4 months, I’ve been feeling a bit more like my old self. Note, “a bit.” I’m a long way from being on creative overdrive as my natural state but I took that “bit” and ran with it, pushing myself as I began having (uh-oh!) IDEAS. I was so excited! It had been such a long time since I’d experienced even a hint of creativity. The ideas were such fun and I couldn’t wait to dive in and start “doing stuff!”

Away I went, planning and creating and planning some more! Yippee!!

And then oops. A major relapse of CRPS symptoms. More pain. More “stuck and unable to walk.” It’s happened several times. As soon as I do a wee bit more than I probably should, given that my knee is still massively swollen and discoloured and after 14 months is still obviously not fully healed, the Universe reminds me that I. Am. Supposed. To. Be. RESTING.

“You aren’t doing ‘nothing’ when you choose to put your well-being first. In fact, this is the key to having everything.” ― Brittany Burgunder

It’s frustrating that I tire so easily. It’s frustrating that the “inner me” is beginning to come to life again with more of a desire to be creative and playful and get back to building fun things like Witchy’s podcast (yes, really! Yay!) and making her videos and telling her stories and finishing the over 300 drafts I have sitting here on Medium (yes, really to that, too!). 🤦🏻‍♀️

It’s frustrating that I’m not feeling well this week and I’d already had a couple of naps before noon today. Oy vey.

I know that if I don’t look after myself, I’m no good to anyone. In order to maximise all aspects of my life and to be fully well and happy, to be productive, creative, give my best to my work, and be my best for all my relationships, I have to look after myself.

Historically, if I’m feeling okay, I keep going. Just like that little Energizer Bunny. I keep going and going and going and … until I can’t.

Not. Good.

“Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves.” — Nathaniel Branden

This injury has been forcing me to learn that lesson. Not like I hadn’t learned it before but for some reason, it’s a slippery devil and keeps disappearing on me. What the heck is up with that?? Seems I need to keep re-learning it because I can still push myself more days than I don’t. I still allow myself to say “yes” when I should say “no” to doing things that require energy I ought to be using for rest and healing or activities that will nourish my mind, body and/or spirit.

“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.” – Steve Maraboli

Yep. I know that. That hasn’t stopped “my Self” and I having something of a head-butting relationship for too many decades. Sometimes, I’m too damned stubborn for my own good. My Self really does know what’s best for me. It knows I’m not Wonder Woman but I’ve had a little trouble believing that — until now.

So as I stare down the barrel of another bright, shiny new year, I’m kissing the current one goodbye. Normally, I’d be thinking about everything I’d like to accomplish in the next 12 months, but not this year. I’m thinkin’ it’s time I made “self care” my priority for the coming year. Hm. Just remembered that with my birthday in February, I’ll begin a Personal Year 7 (in numerology). A time of retreat, introspection, withdrawing, going inward.

It’s a bit like letting a field lie fallow so it can restore, return to a place of balance. Be rejuvenated.

So as I reach the end of this year that has been largely focused on trying to get back to a normal life, I’m committing to accepting that I’m not there yet. I need to accept that the best way back is to stop focusing on the milestones I’ve reached and am still striving to achieve in my recovery, and instead focus on what I can do in each moment to take care of myself.

I can feel a little rebellion stirring inside me already at the mention of not focusing on milestones. What?? Whaddya mean? That’s what’s kept me going! No milestones?? Are you nuts? Aw, c’mon! What else am I supposed to reach for?

Feeling good in each moment. What do I need most right now? With this breath? And this one? And this one? What will make me truly happy right now?

Yeah. That stuff. Hm. It might be easier to subdue that rebellion than I thought. 🧘

The Invitation: I would love to see your submissions on anything that came up for you on reading this. Has self-care been a challenge for you? How did you overcome it? Are you still struggling? What makes it easier or harder for you? And what does self-care look like for you?

Here’s a big question: What do you need most right now to make you feel like you’d be taking the best possible care of yourself?

No deadlines for this invitation, as always on HHH. I’m happy to see your responses whenever you’re ready to write them.

Another New Year Around the Corner

Do you ever wonder what all the fuss is about with New Year’s celebrations?

You’re not alone. Poor Witchy doesn’t understand anything about the concept of New Year’s Eve. They didn’t have this celebration deep in the heart of the Transylvania Forest.

I did my best to explain, but … 🤦🏻‍♀️

To be honest, I was trying hard not to laugh at some of what she said. But please don’t tell her I said that!

Witchy’s Contest: One More Day!

Wow! We’ve had a lot of responses to the contest and there’s still one more day to get yours in! It closes Dec. 27, 2023 at midnight MST (so sometime on the 28th in some parts of the world).

The winner gets $50 USD. You need to be a writer for HHH and if you win, you need a valid PayPal or Ko-fi account to receive the prize.

I’ll be sharing a quick message to announce the winner on Sunday, December 31st. Will it be you??

More details here:

We had a lot of excellent submissions in the past week, and I am deeply grateful to those of you who chose HHH as “home” for these beautiful works of art. Thank you!

Enjoy taking a peek and showing your fellow Pub Family members some love with reads, comments and claps! Yay!

AJ struggled a lot with debilitating anxiety — until he found one simple tool that changed his life:

Maria Rattray shares an incredibly sweet and inspiring story of love and surprises in the most unexpected way:

Qaiser Khan has written a thought-provoking poem with a powerful metaphor for how it feels to love someone and have our trust betrayed (and who can’t relate to that??):

JonesPJ challenged herself in a huge way and despite massive discomfort, found a profound gift that keeps on giving …

Bernie Pullen chooses a word every year. Wow — this year’s word was so necessary, and no doubt having that focus helped a lot …

Mary V ☺️ offers some beautiful insights about how to cope with change:

Maria Rattray tells the incredible story of a shocking incident that changed her mother’s life forever — and how she coped with it:

Libby Shively McAvoy experienced a brutal beating and although it was frightening, chose to fight back:

Maria Rattray gives us some food for thought about adoption:

Daniel Ng has written a beautiful essay with powerful insights about overcoming fears:

Alan AJ suffered a terrible loss just before Christmas several years ago. Here is the story of a day when a group of colleagues took it upon themselves to lift his spirits:

Karen Schwartz offers some helpful insights on a few aspects of life that I’m sure everyone will understand:

And here are a few more for Witchy’s contest!

Love this witty piece by Bernie Pullen. Her pencil makes a good point … or several …

Trisha Faye has written a hilarious piece loaded with personality and fun! Take a peek!

Sam Letterwood has fun with wordplay in describing the mini melodrama that unfolds daily on his desk:

The writing instruments on OCTAVIA EVER AFTER’s desk are about to have quite an adventure! Things could get a little steamy!

Tagging our beloved Pub Family, with deepest gratitude for your continued support of each other, of HHH, and of yours truly!

Kris Bedenian Rodney Brazier Patti Murray Voncannon Carrie Kolar Croix Sather Deb Fiore Dina Alexander DL Nemeril Donnette Anglin Loren Lieberthal Jimmy Misner Jr. Judy Millar Julie Gaeta Pene Hodge Karen Schwartz James Knight Dr. Preeti Singh Radhika Iyer Sam Branstner Umme Salma Tamil T Mann Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles Lion~ Wendy S. Bradfield Yana Bostongirl Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox Suma Narayan Penny Walsh Shameem Anwar Irene Fassler Sandy Peckinpah Trista Signe Ainsworth Slow train Ashley Nicole B.R. Shenoy Carolyn Hastings Christina Christine Vann, MSc. Ellie Jacobson Isabel Young Kaz Rochford Nia Simone McLeod Nicole Hilbig Patricia Wright Pam Winter Jodian Marie Thomas, MS, Bsc, Asc L Burton Danielle Hestand Sahil Patel Malky McEwan Barbara Cook Tyra Jaide Eko BP Drashti Shroff Evergreen Eden Bernie Pullen Rhea Anglesey CARMEN F MICSA Robin Oakman Mary Vraa Libby Shively McAvoy Kristina God Niall Leah Debbra Lupien, Voice of the Akashic Records Toya Qualls-Barnette Vashni Stories Dawn :) Divya Goswami BichoDoMato Evon Carole Olsen Sharon Sayler, Author Jennifer Dunne Kylie van Gelder Neha Sonney, Author Christina Sponias Ian Hanson JF Danskin Patrick OConnell Mary V Elvie Lins❤️ Carmellita Gauri Sirur Kristie Leong M.D. IJaveria Ansari Asim Nori Dipo Adebayo Andreia Damian Jenine Bsharah Baines Jodi Marie Mahein Kazi Mario López-Goicoechea Raine Lore Vishal Mehta Aarti Tailor A Rustic Mind (Manali Desai) Mona S Gable Anne Emerick Andra Forbes Anaya Nosso Kasturi Patra Mary B Mel Janecka Rebecca Romanelli Life not abrupt (L.n.a.) Rebecka Rose Hollie Petit, Ph.D. Michael Mallen Gauri Sirur Raine Lore Penny Walsh CARMEN F MICSA, MA in English, podcaster Mary V Marilyn Flower Srini James Beaufait Joe Merkle Rupa Mahanti Binky Ink Writing Trisha Faye John Antony Mario López-Goicoechea Sherry Atkinson Seda Anbarcı Ella de Jong Katherine Myrestad HAPPINESS + WEALTH ⭐ Nathan Chen Zeenat Merchant Syal, M.A, M.Sc Ben Ulansey Brandon Kam Victoria Kjos J Oliver Dempsey Binky Ink Writing Karen Schwartz AJ Carrie Kolar TzeLin Sam Sally Prag Jenine “Jeni” Baines Vera-Marie Landi Alan (AJ) Autistic Widower Rebecca A Emrich Grace Delphia Simply Sophia Sheri Jacobs Ella de Jong Tamara Embrey Trisha Faye Carolina Smith Janet Meisel Elena dL Daniel Ng JonesPJ Nathan Chen Amir Bibi Rick Allen Helen Gilmore Marcus aka Gregory Maidman OCTAVIA EVER AFTER Qaiser Khan Benighted Sharon Johnson Julie KingGood Nina Sklansky Debbie Soderberg Kirchner Jolka Maria Rattray Shereen Bingham Kyle Wells Cristina Cattai Charisse Tyson Sam Letterwood