Weekly Newsletterish: A Contest, $50 Prize; and Coping With Change

Welcoming new writers who love what we’re all about!

Hello, beloved Pub Family! — and anyone else who stops by!

Woohoo!! I’m so excited to be back in the saddle, having made enough progress in my (ongoing) healing to re-open Hope, Healing and Humour. I wasn’t sure that would be possible for quite some time yet — if at all — so I’m deeply grateful that I’ve made it this far. I’m ready to crank up this pub and to nurture and support it and its writers, best I can.

I’ve been delighted by the enthusiastic response by former writers who have rejoined and I’m thrilled to welcome several new kids to our Pub Family!

Yay! A fresh start for Hope, Healing and Humour!

*A side note: Want to be added / re-added as a writer? Start here for a look at submission guidelines.

Ever Been Pushed Into a Fresh Start?

The past year and a half have been all about fresh starts for me, although a few of them turned out to be more false starts than anything. Admittedly, one of these “fresh starts” was of my own choosing — the one where I left England and moved to Ontario to support my terminally ill friend through to the end of his life.

But the others have involved massively distressing and unexpected circumstances that left me with no choice but to start over in one way or another (or a few at once).

If you’re like most people, you’ll have experienced something like that, too. There are lots of ways we find ourselves having to begin anew, whether we choose it or not. And sometimes, that can be frightening.

What is it that makes us fear a fresh start? Why does the idea of a new beginning make us want to be like little Witchy and, as she says, run and hide under the bed? 💨🛏👀

Well, you can thank your humanness for that. You know, those leftover responses to the proverbial “cavemen being chased by a sabertooth tiger” situations? Yeah. Those. Generally, we like the familiar. The known. The predictable. Because we never know when that sabertooth tiger might suddenly leap out of a darkened doorway, and dang, if you left home without your giant club, uh-oh. 💩

This is why we’re hard-wired to fear change; it’s a built-in survival mechanism. It’s trying to keep us safe from those hidden teeth and claws that are lurking around every corner, hiding in cupboards, or waiting to pop out from behind something. Of course, some of us thrive on change, and sometimes we welcome it, especially if we’ve been feeling stuck and needing something to be different. But more often than not, when we’re pushed into changes we didn’t want or expect, it can send us into a tailspin.

So what do you do about it? How do you keep from coming unhinged when you’re faced with unexpected change?

There’s a lot you can do, and it starts with paying attention to your thoughts. Are you thinking “Oh, dear LORD!” kinds of thoughts about how scary and awful this is? Are you angry? Afraid of what might happen next? Feeling like you’ll never get over whatever you had to leave behind?

I don’t want to discount any of those feelings or whatever else might come up. It’s perfectly natural to be upset when your life suddenly takes you in a direction you didn’t particularly want. But that doesn’t have to derail you.

The key to coping with unexpected change is acceptance. In not complaining and wishing and praying that things could still be the way they were, when clearly, they can’t.

Change is not painful, but resisting it sure is.

You can cope with change by being willing to trust that whatever comes, you’ll figure it out. By having confidence in yourself to find the answers you need. By telling yourself — sometimes a hundred times a day — that you’re okay, that you’ll be all right, and that yes, you can do this.

Another trick to help you with those unexpected fresh starts is to find the blessings in them. Deliberately look for the good news, the nuggets of gold that pop up and allow you to see that maybe this isn’t so bad after all, and in fact, maybe it’ll be pretty darned good. They’re always there; you’ve just gotta be open to seeing them.

And the more of those you’re willing to see, the quicker you’ll start to settle into this new way of being. It doesn’t mean you won’t have feelings of grief or loss, or that you can just forget the past and instantly slide into a new life. I’m well aware that sometimes, that’s a lot easier said than done.

But as a general rule, when you can shift the way you’re looking at this new life that’s dropped itself into your lap and do your best to see the positives in it, it’ll go a lot more smoothly than if you cling to how much you don’t want it, or how much you hate it, and wish you could still be wherever you were before this happened.

Your perspective affects everything. It is largely responsible for how well or poorly you cope with whatever Life throws at you.

The best news is that it’s completely within your control. You get to choose. You might not always get to control what happens to you, but you can always choose how you respond to it.

Invitation: I would love to see your stories and poems on this topic. What are some of your more memorable fresh starts — whether difficult or fun? How did you cope with them? What made it easier — or harder — to get through them?

Want To Win $50?

If you haven’t met “Witchy” yet, she’s our special little blue friend here on Medium. She has her own wacky back story (she would say it was traumatic) and she knows all about fresh starts. After a distressing and embarrassing series of events forced her out of the Magical Blue Trees in the Transylvania Forest, she packed up her cauldron, her toothbruth, and her stamp collection and headed for England. Since then, she’s been exploring the world and sharing her (mis)adventures while learning how to live in a new way.

You can learn more about her here on her pub (please follow if you feel so inclined)!

She might be centuries old but she’s new to life outside the Forest and is as naïve as a little child. Forced to learn how to live in a strange world and without her magic, it’s been a scary road for her. But our dear little friend keeps doing her best to figure out life outside the magical Forest.

She doesn’t always get it right but she never gives up! Like when she interviewed many members of our Pub Family last year. Well, I use the term “interviewed” very, very loosely. 🤦🏻‍♀️ But whatever we’re calling these, she did her best.

When I told her that I was reopening my pub, she got so excited she began twirling through my cottage in a turquoise and purple blur. She was crashing into things, “Tasmanian Devil” style (as usually happens when she gets excited).

Of course, she wants to be part of this. I heard about a conversation she had with Karen Schwartz, who was saying that she enjoyed Witchy’s interview questions. Thanks to Karen, Witchy and I have come up with a fun idea for a contest!

To kick off the reboot of Hope, Healing and Humour, Witchy has chosen one of her very … uh … special (??) questions (oh, dear) for you to answer. Here are the details:

• You’ve gotta be one of HHH’s writers
• Answers must be at least 300 words in length
• Submitted to Hope, Healing and Humour (draft only, as usual, please)
• The writer who submits the funniest or most imaginative, creative story will win $50 USD (you must have a valid Paypal or Ko-fi account to receive this prize). Your comments on the entries will be taken into account in the decision-making process.
• If this goes well and there’s a good response, we’ll make a monthly event.
• Deadline for entries: December 20, 2023
• Winner announced December 31 — what a fun way to end the year and prepare for the new one!

Here’s Witchy’s question:

On your desk, there is a container for your pens, pencils, scissors and other such items. What kinds of conversations are happening amongst them?

Use your imagination! Have fun! Be creative! Connect with your inner KID!

A little reminder: Are you following Hope, Healing and Humour? If not, please do!

As it’s only been a couple of days since the relaunch of HHH, we haven’t had loads of submissions yet but may I offer a HUGE and HEARTFELT “THANK YOU!!!!” to Grace Delphia and Sheri Jacobs, who shared a couple of wonderful pieces here yesterday!

Take a look!

Grace shares a fabulously funny (albeit somewhat disturbing!) story. An amazing tale of finding the lighter side of the darkest times

Sheri Jacobs shares this powerful look at relationships and what we need most:

See you next week, and remember: Be kind. You never know when it could change a life.

Tagging our beloved Pub Family:

Kris Bedenian Rodney Brazier Patti Murray Voncannon Carrie Kolar Croix Sather Deb Fiore Dina Alexander DL Nemeril Donnette Anglin Loren Lieberthal Jimmy Misner Jr. Judy Millar Julie Gaeta Pene Hodge Karen Schwartz James Knight Dr. Preeti Singh Radhika Iyer Sam Branstner Umme Salma Tamil T Mann Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles Lion~ Wendy S. Bradfield Yana Bostongirl Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox Suma Narayan Penny Walsh Shameem Anwar Irene Fassler Sandy Peckinpah Trista Signe Ainsworth Slow train Ashley Nicole B.R. Shenoy Carolyn Hastings Christina Christine Vann, MSc. Ellie Jacobson Isabel Young Kaz Rochford Nia Simone McLeod Nicole Hilbig Patricia Wright Pam Winter Jodian Marie Thomas, MS, Bsc, Asc L Burton Danielle Hestand Sahil Patel Malky McEwan Barbara Cook Tyra Jaide Eko BP Drashti Shroff Evergreen Eden Bernie Pullen Rhea Anglesey CARMEN F MICSA Robin Oakman Mary Vraa Libby Shively McAvoy Kristina God Niall Leah Debbra Lupien, Voice of the Akashic Records Toya Qualls-Barnette Vashni Stories Dawn :) Divya Goswami BichoDoMato Evon Carole Olsen Sharon Sayler, Author Jennifer Dunne Kylie van Gelder Neha Sonney, Author Christina Sponias Ian Hanson JF Danskin Patrick OConnell Mary V Elvie Lins❤️ Carmellita Gauri Sirur Kristie Leong M.D. IJaveria Ansari Asim Nori Dipo Adebayo Andreia Damian Jenine Bsharah Baines Jodi Marie Mahein Kazi Mario López-Goicoechea Raine Lore Vishal Mehta Aarti Tailor A Rustic Mind (Manali Desai) Mona S Gable Anne Emerick Andra Forbes Anaya Nosso Kasturi Patra Mary B Mel Janecka Rebecca Romanelli Life not abrupt (L.n.a.) Rebecka Rose Hollie Petit, Ph.D. Michael Mallen Gauri Sirur Raine Lore Penny Walsh CARMEN F MICSA, MA in English, podcaster Mary V Marilyn Flower Srini James Beaufait Joe Merkle Rupa Mahanti Binky Ink Writing Trisha Faye John Antony Mario López-Goicoechea Sherry Atkinson Seda Anbarcı Ella de Jong Katherine Myrestad HAPPINESS + WEALTH ⭐ Nathan Chen Zeenat Merchant Syal, M.A, M.Sc Ben Ulansey Brandon Kam Victoria Kjos J Oliver Dempsey Binky Ink Writing Karen Schwartz AJ Carrie Kolar TzeLin Sam Sally Prag Jenine “Jeni” Baines Vera-Marie Landi Alan (AJ) Autistic Widower Rebecca A Emrich Grace Delphia Simply Sophia Sheri Jacobs Ella de Jong Tamara Embrey Trisha Faye Carolina Smith Janet Meisel Elena dL Daniel Ng JonesPJ Nathan Chen Amir Bibi