avatarDr Mehmet Yildiz

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Abstract

p id="db15">For example, my husband put a stop to my way of trying to get our son to eat his meals and stop being fussy because it just wasn’t working. After a certain period of time of him implementing his own way of doing things, which was firmer and stricter than I would’ve liked, I started to see some changes in my son and how he would sit down to eat the entire plate of food in front of him.</p><p id="21fa">Now, Andriel looks forward to sitting down next to his parents and mostly eats his entire plate, including the veg. My husband was right, and I was wrong — at least for a period of time (because no one knows the future and kids are unpredictable!)</p><p id="60fc"><b>But my husband didn’t say “I told you so”.</b> He didn’t discredit me as a mother, even if I did question my own decision making. He understood that being wrong is not a bad thing, and also, that <b>I wasn’t “wrong” to begin with</b>. Some things work, and some things don’t work for our children. And some things work for a while and then need to be changed. And that’s OK.</p><p id="4e9d">Parenting, while continuous, is flexible.</p><p id="ec93"><a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-successfully-wing-it-d39222a3d808">And we are all winging it.</a></p><h1 id="101b">Lowering Expectations Is Empowering</h1><p id="cde5">I have this constant need as the main caregiver to simply know what to do and get it right — especially after all the research I do on many aspects of parenting. But the thing is, it is only because of my own expectations that we get upset when things don’t work out. We paint a picture of how things will go, and when they don’t go our way, we self-criticise.</p><p id="3b33">Recently, I have been struggling to make the decision of whether to send our son to daycare. Because of the recent lockdowns, I feared that he wasn’t getting enough social stimulation and he needed to spend more time with other children. We decided to send him to a local nursery two mornings a week.</p><p id="fec8">But that wasn’t my only reason for wanting to send him there. I also needed more time to really step up my game as a writer, begin marketing myself and really work on my book.</p><p id="fa4a">But I’m tired of questioning myself, and <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-get-what-you-want-1973fd008ecb">since taking the road to self-care</a> in order to be a better mother and person, I decided that my reasons were as good as any to send Andriel to daycare at the age of 27 months.</p><p id="d466">It has only been a few weeks, and so far, he does not look forward to going there. I feel in fact he has become shier and clingier than usual. This makes me question once again whether what I am doing is right, and whether the caregivers at the centre are doing right by my son.</p><p id="93a8"><b>I’m ready to assign blame and judge because this is what we do as people growing up in today’s society.</b></p><div id="5778" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/learning-to-enjoy-motherhood-guilt-free-966e7fa38d58"> <div> <div> <h2>Learning To Enjoy Motherhood Guilt-Free</h2> <div><h3>undefined</h3></div> <div><p>undefined</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*o44YftcYVXjSo_va)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="d0f8">But I have to remember that it will solve nothing. I need to readjust my expectations and remind myself that everything takes time and that obstacles are all part of the journey, including my son’s settling in time at daycare.</p><p id="1231">He will get there because he is a strong and sociable little boy. He will be fine because he will still have an abundance of love at home waiting for him when he gets back and throughout the rest of the week. But I cannot decide how and when he will be running happily into nursery in the mornings — that’s a picture I need to let go of, but treasure if it happens.</p><p id="b15a">Sometimes, it

Options

is our expectations that need change, not our circumstances. We have to be OK with hiccups in parenting. Rather, we need not see them as hiccups, but as part of the process of bringing up children. After all, we are only human.</p><h1 id="7806">Takeaway</h1><figure id="facf"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*0ZLtDIAU40LQtOeo"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@drezart?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Andrae Ricketts</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="f3a0">I believe in a mother’s instinct, but I don’t believe in the expectation that it will be there when we need it. If that expectation isn’t met then we will be more than ready to assign blame, and it won’t help us grow as parents or as individuals. In fact, I think that the constant need to meet these expectations is what causes us to feel like a failure at some point in our lives.</p><p id="b5d4">Instead, I recommend a more supportive plan, where advice can be handed out without coming across as all-knowing and dismissive of the parent. We can learn not to feel offended at others’ suggestions in the same way that others can learn not to be judgemental. I advise that others do get involved in taking care of kids, in a non-judgemental “I-told-you-so” way when the main interest is that of the child — not of themselves.</p><p id="1680">Most importantly, we have to learn that <b>mistakes are normal</b>, and most of the time, they’re not life-threatening. We are all human after all, and that makes us susceptible to countless errors over the course of time. In modern parenting, most parents are learning not to scold their kids when they make mistakes because it’s detrimental to their confidence building. <i>We should take that same approach with ourselves and other adults.</i></p><p id="93d5">So, let’s cut ourselves a little slack, and lower that pressure to get it right. Nobody is born a parent with experience.</p><div id="2a67" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/redefining-the-concept-of-happiness-16e5524c2b2d"> <div> <div> <h2>Redefining the Concept of Happiness</h2> <div><h3>How I’m learning about fulfilment from my toddler son.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*6xDaJcMnjn9r6Bow)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="88c4" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-battle-with-anger-as-a-parent-24e7837c5fac"> <div> <div> <h2>My Battle With Anger As a Parent</h2> <div><h3>Ensuring our son feels loved regardless of our feelings.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Me4slkvdZGGCbsbjqQ_7bg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="c95b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-husband-is-a-damn-good-father-de20d1ef2217"> <div> <div> <h2>My Husband Is A Damn Good Father</h2> <div><h3>And he deserves praise.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*Oqw-YSI_IVOLn-k0)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="7dcc"><b><i>Sylvia Emokpae, thinker and philosopher, is passionate about self-love, relationships, and motherhood. <a href="https://medium.com/@sylviaemokpae">See more work like this</a>.</i></b></p><p id="f728"><a href="https://twitter.com/SylviaEmokpae"><b>Follow her</b></a><b> on Twitter.</b></p></article></body>

How Precious is ILLUMINATION to Medium Writers

A Sentiment Analysis

Summary of lessons learned from prominent ILLUMINATION writers during the uncertain moments

Image by DarkWorkX from Pixabay

No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care. -Theodore Roosevelt

As a data driven professional, I conduct qualitative and quantitative analysis to gain insights from data and information. Sentiment analysis is a special interest to me because it helps me gain new perspectives from a qualitative perspective. I see sentiment analysis a path from knowledge to wisdom.

In this article, I want to share my key learning points from a brief analysis of articles from sentimental point of view, created by ILLUMINATION writers when the publication was down shortly due to governance requirements in the platform yesterday.

I had an opportunity to review 22 articles created in relation to the situation of ILLUMINATION yesterday. I read each of the articles and extracted some key points related to the values of the publication.

1— The metaphor of “orphaned child” adds a new meaning when we are separated. My affinity towards the creative and insightful art of Rosennab is increasing each day. There is something special in this writer’s pen. We are privileged to host and read content from this eminent writer. Every article from this writer gives special meaning to my life. I am wondering how a writer can simplify and articulate complex emotional issues with a plain language. It must be her scholarly background. Here is the link to “Orphaned Child” hosted in one of the creative publications called “The Bad Influence” which I follow with pleasure.

2- The term “second family” emerged in an article by Kevin BuddaeusI was asked a few days ago by a writer to answer to a writing prompt of hers. The goal was to write about “What I miss in the current crisis” in the form of poetry. I live in Japan, where no lockdown has yet happened. The danger is not imminent. So I wondered, what do I miss in a lockdown that has not hit me yet? I couldn’t think of a fitting poem for days. Ironically, since of today, I got my answer. I miss Illumination. I miss my second family.” Here is the link to “Caught in a Blackout” by Kevin.

3- The power of ideas was articulated by Rasheed HoodaThe Sun doesn’t lose its shine behind the clouds. #ILLUMINATION is an idea that is the brainchild of Dr. Mehmet Yildiz. Ideas don’t die because of resistance; they persist and become healthy by facing challenges.”. This great piece was hosted by another publication called “Freedom of Lifestyle” which I follow.

4- Finding voice for new writers was recorded by Jill Ebstein. “Giving a voice to the newbie writer: There are many people who have taken their first stab at crafting a piece. Many of these pieces exhibit “first-timeness,” but these same writers are learning to find their voice and improve their writing skills. Has there ever been a more critical time to find one’s voice?”. Here is the link for this educative article.

5 — Resilience to online attacks was articulated by Sherry McGuinn with real life examples. “People get rejected every day and it hurts. I get that. And I’ve experienced a shit ton of it. But, the rational among us shake it off and move on. We don’t spend precious time and energy attacking those who rejected us.” Here is the link to this fascinating article.

6- A powerful question were asked by Kathryn A. LeRoy, Ph.D.What Happens When You Close the Door to a Community”. Importance of connections was highlighted in this article: “For myself, I appreciated that Dr. Mehmet Yildiz listed (tagged) the writers and editors when he sent his daily articles on the progress of the community. This daily listing kept me up to date on new writers. I used the list to follow and read others. This simple strategy helped my find and connect to many writers I would not have found.

7- Settling difference is a term I learned by Selma in this breathtaking article. “I’d figure that my opponent is not ready to talk and pushing would get us nowhere. Carrying that one step further, I’d leave believing that when that person is finally ready that person will be the one asking me to sit down to talk. And then we’d settle our differences.” Here is the link to this insightful article.

8 — A recognition by a scientist for visibility of his unnoticed content which shined on ILLUMINATION revealed by Matthew Gliatto. “Illumination has helped me personally. I created my Medium account in September 2019. For the first four months, I didn’t get much traction. In January, I believe I had around 40 followers. But then, in January, Dr. Mehmet Yildiz (founder of Illumination) reached out to me. He told me he was impressed with my writing. About two months later, he started the Illumination publication, and he invited me to join it. I have been publishing under it ever since. I currently have 158 followers.”

9- In his article titled “An Open Letter to To All Writers Editors And Followers On Illumination”, a well known fiction writer P.G. Barnett made a profound comment “Any time a writer or a publication falls suspect they are first suspended and then second, investigated. Simply put, the suspected offense is punished before a true violation has been determined.

10 — An inspiring writer with a strong pen, Joe Luca, in his article title “Illumination — Wherefore Art Thou?” made an interesting comment: “I have been in daily communication, as a writer and editor, with hundreds of people on Illumination. Every single reader and writer that I have come in contact with over the past 30+ days have been excited, interested and engaged and not once, did I read any request to stop or change what we were doing or receive any negative comments. That is with one exception. And now, I seriously wonder about that exception and where it has taken us.

11 — One of my heroic writers, Karen Madej 💛 whom I provided a testimonial with appreciation here kept the confused writers informed in an uncertain time. Karen highlighted importance of the challenges for our growth and success. “The good Dr gives us our voices and lets us be heard by people who desire — yes success — but also an environment where we support each other because ILLUMINATION is a space where encouragement and daily writing and other activity suggestions are offered which aim to challenges out abilities and assist our growth as writers.

12- Our inspiring writer and poet Gurpreet Dhariwal highlighted the importance of connections for people across the globe. “Dr. Mehmet Yildiz as an owner has always been transparent, highly professional, and sincere in bringing life to this publication. I admire him for sharing his brilliant ideas with each of you to let us grow as a part of the community. He has always offered a lending hand to each of us considering us a part of this virtual publication which connected us all from different corners of the world.

13 — One of our poets and writer Ksenia Sein wrote a poem which took my breath away. Here is a powerful metaphor in this poem:

The truth is — the devil always seeks the chance to disturb the righteous.”

14 — I found the metaphor of a tribe, in an enticing article titled “Illumination: Our Tribe” by Muhammad Zunair. “Everyone from the community, be it Kevin Buddaeus, Gurpreet Dhariwal, Rasheed Hooda, or any other member of this community, they all provided me with this inclusive environment and it felt like a tribe. A tribe of like-minded, motivating, loving and worthy people.”

15 — An inspiring writer whom I knew before the inception of ILLUMINATION, Keira Fulton-Lees provided a unique perspective representing inclusiveness of writers with autism. “Dr. Yildiz’s vision for his publication inspired me to think deeper about my writing, and he truly has been a deep inspiration to me, a strong mentor, a true visionary, and through my writing on his Publication Illumination, not only has my writing improved, but my very core quality of life improved yet even more.

16 — Internationally known published author René Junge provided an insightful perspective to the universal dangers of online behavior to writers. “Illumination has generated over 3000 followers in just four weeks, showing that the content curated there appeals to the readers. Why does one person have the power to shut down a community of hundreds of authors simply? Why would you be interested? You may not be a member of Illumination, and you may not care about this publication at all. It should interest you because this is not about a publication and a troll, but about a fundamental problem. You too can become a victim of a troll tomorrow, and then there is little you can do about it.”

17- A proactive entrepreneur, researcher, and a prolific content developer Joshua Davis, shared his experience with tangible metrics. “Dr Mehmet Yildiz has helped so many writers on this platform just by encouraging them to write more! From the very first time he responded to a comment I sent him my writing word count per week has tripled. My interaction, read time, commenting, clapping for other writers on your platform has gone way up. You have access to all the stats and data so you can verify that what I’m saying is true.”

18 — Our editor and experienced writer Lilycelle Belarmino Ausa made a powerful statement: “One Voice, One Heart”. “As one of the editors and writers at Illumination, my heart goes out. The publication was our pillar and hope. It was our medium of exposure since other publications aren’t as welcoming as Illumination. I don’t have resentment to any other publications but Illumination was the only outlet backing us to gain more visibility and prompted exposure.

19 — Our lead editor Salam Khan was the first who noticed our publication’s disappearance and took immediate action by questioning the situation with a calm and composed approach. The article got high visibility and appeared on Medium Daily Digest. “Dr has done a lot of work on Medium in the last two months to build a community of practice. A lot of lost Medium writers found voice at our publication and many new Medium writers were significantly helped on our slack channels, as well. All of that wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for Dr.

20 — Our editor and leadership expert Paul Myers MBA added an important perspective for gratitude and growth in his article titled “Free The Illumination One”. “As I said before, this is the power of the community that we’re building folks. One that I’m proud to be part of. To conclude, I think it’s fitting to recognize the level of support that triggered the chain of events leading up to this point.”

21 — Our experienced writer and poet Terry Mansfield raised his concerns and highlighted community values in a letter format addressing to CEO. “Hundreds of writers gravitated toward Illumination, and one of the primary reasons was because of the astute leadership of Dr. Yildiz, his many creative ideas, and his nurturing nature. He is exactly the kind of person you want on Medium. To remove him and Illumination from the platform is a gross injustice that harms not only him but all the writers that grew to love him and Illumination.”

22- Last but not least, our highly respected medial Dr Rick Dobson, who is our health expert and medical advisor, provided a fresh perspective based on his personal experience, with a reader focus, asked a powerful question: “Am I here just to contribute $5 a month to fund an unknown group of editors who anonymously shut down a vibrant community of writers, many of whom (like me) are just getting our feet wet?

And to conclude, here is a special poem from our inspirational writer and psychologist Dipti Pande, who sheds some light on the darkness of this special poem.

I enjoyed these pieces and learned important lessons embedded in these articles by analyzing the sentiments. Several common sentimental patterns are covered in these articles. The most prominent ones are unity, community, collaboration, support, connection, synergy, serendipity, diversity, inclusion, and fusion. These are important values of our publication.

From this analysis, I understand that ILLUMINATION is a tool that brings the writers to collaborate and produce creative content with motivation and synergy.

After a day of break for our readers, I shared my views on the new approach to ILLUMINATION in the attached article.

You might join my seven publications on Medium as a writer by sending a request via this link.

You might find more information about my professional background.

I write about health and well-being, reflecting on my reviews, observations, and decades of sensible experiments.

Sample Health Improvement Articles for New Readers

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I wrote about valuable nutrients like:

Boron, Urolithin, taurine, citrulline malate, biotin, lithium orotate, alpha-lipoic acid, n-acetyl-cysteine, acetyl-l-carnitine, CoQ10, PQQ, NADH, TMG, creatine, choline, digestive enzymes, magnesium, hydrolyzed collagen, nootropics, pure nicotine, activated charcoal, Vitamin B12, Vitamin B1, Vitamin D, Vitamin K2, Omega-3 Fatty Acids, and other nutrients that might help to improve metabolism and mental health.

I publish my lifestyle, health, and well-being stories on EUPHORIA. I wrote several articles on major diseases and valuable nutrients for health. My focus is metabolic and mental health.

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