You’re Not Lost With Your Life’s Direction — You Just Need a New Story

3 Reasons I’m Embracing Feeling “Lost” Again — Even Though It’s The 3rd Time.

At some point in life, we’ve all felt degrees of feeling lost, probably more so in the last year. We dislike that feeling as it hits us at the core of our hearts. It leaves us with a sense of powerlessness, fear, and despair.

Yet this feeling of disorientation is an inevitable part of living, similar to the feeling of love. Like opposite poles of the magnet, both emotions pave the way for the forming of our identities, values, and beliefs. They sensitize us to what being human is.

I am feeling lost in life, again. And this isn’t the first time.

It happened when I was 23. Cancer hit me unexpectedly during a time when I was fresh out from college, eager to participate in Asia’s first female triathlon as a comeback from my first break-up.

It happened again when I was 28. When I had to close my entrepreneurial business for good, a business I spent nearly all my youth on. I didn’t know where to go next in my career, when all my peers were already 5 years into theirs, climbing that “ladder”. And in the end, I chose to be a personal trainer as I found great joy in teaching people to move better and live healthier, after my own battle with cancer.

I didn’t seek out to be just any other fitness trainer. I poured my heart and soul into learning about the what, why, and how of making people move and live better.

I stayed at it for the next 8 years. I advanced in the field all the way to being an integrative health coach. Then made a one hundred and eighty degrees switch, to an entirely different industry at a corporate 9–5 setting for job security. That lasted only for a year.

Now, at 36, I feel lost again in some ways. Yet this time, I am less anxious about it, as I have come to learn from the successful and the wise what this bafflement could mean.

After feeling lost 3 times over the last 30 years, these are the 3 reasons why I’m embracing this feeling and what am I doing differently this time.

1) Feeling lost is a signpost of some misalignment with yourself.

Feeling this sense of lostness is not permanent but a temporary signpost to get you to realign to where you are meant to be. It’s a re-evaluation of your values, goals, and vision. If you don’t know where you are going, you may end up going around in circles, perhaps spending a lot of energy and resources that may be more than necessary.

Consider this popular infographic created by Anna Vital of Adioma.

Many entrepreneurs, founders, and creatives found their directions in life at different ages. Though past historical data is not indicative of future outcomes, this serves as a positive encouragement about what feeling lost in life sometimes means. Perhaps J.R.R. Tolkien understood something all along as well,

“Not all those who wander are lost” — J.R.R. Tolkien.

What I’m doing about it (and you can too): This time, instead of comparing myself with the rest of the world, I choose to focus on my life vision and goals, even if some of the people around me may not understand entirely yet. I also make it non-negotiable with my morning, afternoon, and evening routines. Utilizing mantras and affirmations, these uplift and empower me through the day.

2) Feeling lost is a way of propelling your creative growth.

Getting in a rut pushes for a creative spark in us. And the overcoming of the rut is what molds you. You carry these experiences along the way.

Pick up any autobiography of a successful person. They tell us their stories about when they felt clueless in their lives. It narrates how they never gave up to find new strategies to get unstuck. Or, perhaps it tells us when that “eureka” moment was born. Notice how they either just let it all go, break out from their routines or never stop being consistent in their practice.

Isaac Newton discovered gravity just by “letting it all go” from finding something, while Thomas Edison discovered the light bulb after trying for over 10,000 experiments.

The late Kobe Bryant never ceased to evaluate his every match. He also practiced without hesitation, even at 3 a.m! In fact, one of his “secret” weapons was getting curious, asking questions from people who have paved the way before him. He was constantly growing creatively, which propelled his second career into creative storytelling.

“I’m reflective only in the sense that I learn to move forward. I reflect with a purpose.” — Kobe Bryant

What I’m doing about it (and you can too): Instead of mindlessly scrolling through media feeds or watching endless TV shows, I make it a point to re-create an environment for positive and creative growth. This includes visualization exercises, honing my craft with good writing programs, and analyzing the successful works of others.

3) Feeling lost forces you to know yourself, the real you.

One of the scariest things about feeling lost is having to face the “glorious mess” you are in right now. There is nothing as frightening to tell others that you don’t know the solutions or answers. That’s how the imposter syndrome comes about too.

You are so afraid of being real with yourselves at times, that you put on masks to look like you’ve got it. With time, the weight of the masks just comes crashing down on you. Feeling lost can become an inevitable result of the process.

As cliche as it sounds, this feeling of being lost is a form of adversity. It is through adversity and awareness that you come to learn who you really are deep down inside. An authentic you emerges, rising out from the ashes, just like how a diamond in the rough is polished multiple times.

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” — Henry David Thoreau

What I’m doing about it (and you can too): This time, on top of the usual cutting out 95% of my social media time, I’ve incorporated new activities that I procrastinated on, like volunteering at a local dog rescue, playing contract bridge, and re-starting a new yoga practice, as I previously stick to Pilates.

Parting Thoughts

Maybe there’s a bit of fear sitting inside of me that I don’t realize, that little bit of residue from past wounds that have yet to be cleared, preventing me to face the real me.

Or maybe, I needed to feel lost again, so that I can come out of the glorious mess I am in, once and for all, with resilience and resolute, sailing straight ahead, perpendicular to the destination. (Thanks for the Pythagoras piece, Linda.)

Whatever that may be, this time I learned ultimately, it’s the balance of surrendering, trusting, and hoping that brings the sense of inner peace; that all roads lead to where I am supposed to be, as long as I never give up. And I never give up hope.

TL;DR reasons to embrace feeling lost and what to do about it

• Feeling lost is a signpost of some misalignment with yourself. ( Re-evaluate your own values, vision, and goals)
• Feeling lost is a way of propelling your creative growth. (Let it go, break out of routine, stay consistent with your practice)
• Feeling lost forces you to know yourself, the real you. (Embrace the glorious mess you are and explore.)

Hello there, Thanks for reading. I am honored and grateful for your time. I don’t claim to know everything, but I will always strive to share every single bit of truth with thought and humility.

Yours Yan | Hangout with me on Substack, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter. Or just get updates here.