I WORKED HARD ON THIS KICKER
The Death of Smillew Writers Challenge
Time to reenter the usual space
Hi,
This isn’t Jermaine Hall writing; this is Smillew.
Following Medium’s announcement, I’m here to report the death of the Smillew Writers Challenge. I planned on announcing the results last week, but I recently learned it’s fashionable to be late when hosting Writers Challenges.
Bear with me for a few lines as I would like to thank a few people — me — without whom this challenge wouldn’t have been possible.
Starting with the most important, me. Good job, Smillew, great idea, stunning execution, and lifetime achievement to myself!
Continuing with the even more most important, YOU. Congrats to all the participants. You did resounding work. I clapped for all your submissions and even read some. I was touched, moved, and almost cried each time you tagged me.
And now, THE RESULTS
META — you can click and read all the entries for yourself
I’m glad and relieved to announce that nobody else but the Cap’n, the amazing Editor in Chief of MuddyUm, the superlative superlativeful Susan Brearley won the Meta category and the grand prize. I’m lying regarding the grand prize — see below in LIFE.
Susan’s story addressed the touchy topic of clapping etiquette with grace and humor. With references to the highest work of hitchhiking literature, Susan became as meta as Roz Warren, the meta-in-chief on this platform.
Susan’s achievement didn’t stop at writing her 42 claps story. She even managed to garner a meta amount of clappers. Indeed, at the time of closing the competition, Susan’s story had 42 clappers.
LIFE
I wrote a blurb for the META category because the Cap’n won. Don’t expect me to do it for all the winning entries.
Andrew Rodwin’s hilarious “Book of Fallopians” would be my grand prize winner if there was such a thing in the Smillew Writers Challenge. But there’s not. Nothing to win, remember?
Funny enough, the vast majority finally realized that there was nothing to win in the MWC either.
MUD
The winning essay in the Mud prompt, “Getting Down and Dirty with Muddy Undies,” puts the reader in uncomfortably muddy undies. Writer Marilyn Flower managed to make something sparkling out of this dirty prompt.
Rising from the mud and throwing her undies over her head, she transcended the limitations of my poorly chosen prompt to branch on the very topic of our human essence.
Marilyn went so far as to ask this crucial question: “So can we muddy our undies with pride, knowing we are continuing a long-standing, creative tradition with philosophic, literary, artistic, and ecological undertones?”
My answer is a resounding YES. What’s yours?
UNDIES
In my favorite prompt, UNDIES, Holly J See, longtime writer and editor, cried over the discontinuation of her favorite bikini brand. “The images are so vivid, I had to read it over several days,” said judge Smillew — there was no other. I’m lying. The only judge was the public; see the challenge rules for more.
I’m not lying when it comes to the intensity of Holly’s emotions. To express herself, she had to dig dip in the American heritage and came back to the roots, painting her distraught with limericks.
Holly is a wonderful gal Always with high morale There’s no better buddy For writing funny She’s my favorite Royale
Challenging last words
Thank you for all the stories, claps, and comments. The Smillew Writers Challenge will return with the next Medium Writers Challenge, which I plan on winning — again.
I already wrote my acceptance speech, but I don’t need to promote it. The piece is already successful.
NO.
Today, I’ll have only one call to action — I’m lying, I would like YOU to click on the winning stories of the SWC. I could give you many reasons and already did above, but here are the two I want you to remember:
- The winning SWC articles are shorter than their MWC counterparts.
- They are readable.
Smillew is a writer, a tweeter, and a serial masturbator. He usually adds masturbation and sex in his bio at the end to make people click. He’s currently working on adding bitcoin to the list. Some he does well, some not so well, but he still tries them all.
Previously on The Smillew Writers Challenge
Told you I lied about the call to action.
I wish I could keep on writing this piece forever. The Smillew Writers Challenge was a fun ride. Thank a million to all the participants.
