The Best Reminder For Whenever Torn Between Your Child And Work
You have enough; you are enough.
It was a crystal-clear sunny day, with moist warm air, a cool breeze, and the salty ocean spray blowing through the trees. A frowned tourist came out of the forest, fumbling with his fancy leather slippers through the white and soft powdery sand. He needed a break from his work so that he could feel a bit more like on vacation. So he went out to find his wife and daughter, who were actually making the most out of the trip on the island.
Instead of his wife and daughter, the tourist ran into a local who seemed to be dozed off in the warm sun of the morning. With a fishing pole resting in the sand, he didn’t seem in a hurry to catch any fish. It was as if it didn’t matter to him if he’d go home with an empty hand.
The tourist couldn’t help but approach the local. In a not-so-friendly initiative, with an intriguing tone, he planned on asking the fisherman why wasn’t he more involved in fishing. He could have certainly done a lot better if only he would have put up some energy.
The dialogue went like this:
-Hey, how’s it going? Any luck so far?
-So far so good, said the fisherman, without bothering to show his eyes from underneath the large sun hat tilted all the way down to his nose.
-I take it you’re OK with not catching anything? laughed the tourist. I see you have an empty net and call it a good day?
-Well, why not? replied the fisherman. It is, after all, a good day.
The tourist was getting annoyed.
-Yeah, right. You know, you could be doing a lot better if you’d give your best. Why do it at all if you’re not going to make the most of it?
By now, the fisherman pushed up his hat and started to frown back at the tourist. Still, he was doing it because the sun rays were piercing through his eyes rather than because he was getting annoyed too.
-Make the most of it? What do you mean?
-You know, come up with a net instead of this fishing pole, get a really good catch, sell it, and repeat until you can buy a boat, fish even more, and pay others to do it for you. You’ll be fishing money straight out of the ocean if you work hard for a couple of years.
-Fishing money straight out of the ocean? What for?
-You know, so you can afford anything you need and not have to work another day, being able to go out and cast a pole just for fun.
-Well, I’m doing that already. Didn’t I say it’s a good day? I have enough; I am enough already.
I have enough; I am enough.
I’m trying so hard to remind myself of this. Back in the days when I had my mother stay with us and take care of my son while I was working, I literally had to repeat this myself multiple times before I could shut down my computer and head upstairs to my little guy.
I don’t know if it goes back to my deeply rooted insecurities or if it’s a professional flaw — as a freelance writer, I often find it difficult to say no to new work opportunities. But the fact is that I was having a hard time pulling off the cord from work.
These days, when my mother took a vacation from being with us — a two or three months vacation where she’s in another country, spending some time with her two other grandsons — I don’t need this mantra that often. Heck, in the spirit of full disclosure, I can’t afford it anymore. I barely have the time to do any work, let alone end up in situations where I remind myself I need to take a break from work. Of course, I mean client work.
And you know what? While I no longer need to say this to myself, I’m actually living it. I have enough; I am enough, I can be with my son without feeling guilty that I’m not working.
My husband and I work on some sort of financial independence. We’re halfway there, though, and I know that if I can work more, we can save more, faster, thus reaching out to that financial stability we’ve been dreaming of. What would I do when I’d no longer have to work for money and afford to work for pleasure? I’d be fully present, taking care of my son with all my energy.
Then, I remind myself of the unexpected death of my father-in-law. He, too, hoped to work more, do more, have more, so that one day his nephew will enjoy it all, along with him. That didn’t happen. He ran out of time.
Where was I rushing to?
So, as my son sleeps the sweetest sleep and I have the most terrible aches after a full day of running with him at the park, sleep won’t come to me. I stare at him, and I’m in awe at this featherlight, fleeting time of his childhood as Ivery del Campo so delicately puts it in her story — When Small Children Tear You To Pieces.
Where was I rushing to, I wonder? To a day where I can afford to work less and spend more time running with him at the park and then watching him sleep like a baby at night? A day like the one I just had?
I am enough; I have enough. But I only know this for today. Cause today’s bread is the only bread I could ever eat. I need to remind myself that we’re living in a world where the culture of “enough” died and the culture of “more” is thriving. Thriving at the expense of our hard work and our shallow desires.
Today is the only certainty. Take it.
I am enough, I have enough, is about knowing when to stop.
It would be ridiculous to assume that life is easy and work isn’t necessary. Life is far from easy. Work is necessary for far too many people.
What isn’t ridiculous, however, is to give our needs good thinking. And to remind ourselves that for every single thing we’re willing to pay for, we give away a part of our money, which is a part of our time, which is a part of our life.
Telling ourselves that we’re going to work harder tomorrow and make up for it is a trap. It’s the rat trap. The rat caught up in the wheel. Why work harder tomorrow to pay for what you want today when you could settle for less today and enjoy it more?
If tomorrow does come, as it happens to many of us (until it doesn’t), settle for less again. Remind yourself that you are enough; you have enough. Smile and take the best that life has to offer you. Take it today because today is your only certainty.
Thank you for making it to the end! I’ve got more stories like this one if you want to peek: