Six Weird New Dating Trends Every Single Person Must Know

Dating With Confidence #2

Dating can be a lot of fun, but it can also be nerve-wracking. You never know what the other person is going to do or say. And, thanks to the internet, there are now all sorts of crazy dating trends out there that you need to watch out for.

“You do have to find someone who is of the same mindset. When I met my current partner, I told him I was taking it one date at a time. It was pre-covid, so they were in-person dates.”

You’ve heard about ghosting, now here are seven more dating trends you need to know about!

1. Hardballing

Hardballing means talking through your expectations before you even go on a date. For example, do you want serious or casual, long term or short term?

Hardballing saves time, effort, and money as you are transparent about what you want upfront. You can say what you want from a partner with no mucking about.

I did this myself when I dated after getting fed up with going on so many dates.

“The pandemic has taught us all that life is short, and if you know what you are looking for in a partner, why not say it outright so you can move on if the other person is not aligned with your ‘no compromise list.’” — Danielle Kepler in ‘Hardballing’ Is the First Dating Trend We’ve Heard Lately That Doesn’t Suck’ by Brittany Wong, www.huffpost.com

In my view, this is a positive trend as daters can work out their goals, values, and what they want from a relationship and base who they date on that information.

2. Roaching

Roaching is when the person you’re dating is sleeping with many other people and not being open about it. Your date doesn’t necessarily lie to you rather they are reticent about what they are up to.

In Four Essential Questions To Ask On A First Date I write about having the exclusivity talk. If you don’t have the conversation, you are unlikely to know if the other person is roaching.

If your fling doesn’t want to make plans, isn’t keen to have the talk, let’s you down at the last minute, and you get the distinct feeling you are a second choice if nothing better is going on, you might be being roached.

3. Stashing

If your date hasn’t introduced you to any of their family or friends, they may be stashing. This means they keep you very separate from the rest of their lives.

You may notice you are excluded from work functions where partners are included, not properly introduced to people your date bumps into and you are not visible on your honey’s social media.

If you are not bothered, that’s fine. But if you are hurt, confused, or suspect the person you are dating is seeing someone else or roaching, have a talk with them.

4. Slow Dating

Just what it sounds like, slow dating is taking it real slow and getting to know someone before you jump right in. This could mean getting to know your date online first before meeting in real life or taking your time to have sex or commit.

You do have to find someone who is of the same mindset. When I met my current partner, I told him I was taking it one date at a time. It was pre-covid, so they were in-person dates.

I told him my philosophy was to go on a date, and if I enjoyed it and didn’t see any red flags, I’d go on another. That’s it. No dreaming of wedding bells and a cute happy ever after. No pressure.

My stance on living together was also slow. I set myself a rule that I wouldn’t live with a partner without dating them for at least two years. This put off a couple of my dates who thought that three months of dating was long enough.

5. Voice-fishing

Hinge’s dating app was recently upgraded to allow daters to include a voice message on their profile. Instead of writing parts of their profile, daters on Hinge can record information about themselves.

Apparently, some singles have been so worried that their normal voice will put prospective partners off they’ve been putting on a fake accent.

“Hinge has actually admitted that more and more people are actively voice-fishing on their platform, because a lot of people are turned off by certain accents, cadences, or dialects.” — ‘Voice-fishing’:the latest dating trend everyone’s paranoid about, Jade Hayden.

If you are on a site like this, maybe arrange for a call sooner rather than later so you can check out if your date’s voice is phony or not.

6. Breadcrumbing

This is when someone leads another person to believe they either will have or are having a meaningful relationship. However, the breadcrumber is just throwing out crumbs of attention.

If you are breadcrumbed, your crush will likely be hard to pin down.

One week the person you think you are dating will be in regular contact. In the next couple of weeks, you will feel as if you are being ghosted. If you complain, they will throw a crumb and possibly agree to a date, but that date will be postponed.

The breadcrumber will be elusive and hard to get hold of, ignoring your messages but liking your social media posts. There is the illusion of a relationship, but it has no substance, and you can’t rely on them.

If this is happening to you, be aware that despite many promises from your date, it may go on for a long time, and it’s to you to decide whether you will put up with it.

Summary

If you are single and dating, you need to be aware of these behaviors, so you can spot them and deal with them.

Don’t be too upset by these trends. Instead, be grateful that you weren’t dating a hundred and twenty years ago.

In her book ‘Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating’, Moira Weigel writes about how women who went on dates in the early 1900s were assumed to be prostitutes and could end up in jail.

“By the mid-1910s, women on dates came to be known as “Charity Girls” — as in, since they took no money for their “favors,” they were perceived to be giving it away as charity — and by the 1920s, “the prostitutes at New York’s Strand Hotel complained that Charity Girls were putting them out of business.”” — The fascinating history of how courtship became ‘dating’, Larry Getlen, nypost.com

In comparison to going to jail for dating, we haven’t got it too hard in 2022!

Ultimately you must make up your own mind how to date but just remember to be aware of the possible poor behavior of your dates. You can then decide what steps to take to make sure you aren’t mistreated.

Here are some of my other dating articles: