avatarJ & J (Jessica & Joshua J. Lyon, BSQP, CNP)

Summary

The webpage content discusses relationship dynamics, common mistakes, and misconceptions that contribute to frustration and division between partners, emphasizing the importance of understanding and respecting gender roles and the significance of past relationships in shaping current ones.

Abstract

The article "Relationship Frustrations" delves into the pitfalls that can lead to discord in romantic partnerships, particularly focusing on the impact of past relationships and the importance of recognizing the four archetypes of men: quitters, the dead, the wounded, and victors. It underscores the need for trust and effortless femininity from women and the establishment of clear boundaries with ex-partners. The text advocates for a deep understanding of gender roles and the neurological bonds that form in relationships, suggesting that women should seek victors, not quitters or emotionally unavailable men. It also touches on the importance of allowing men to fulfill their traditional roles, such as fixing things around the house, and the necessity of communication and mutual respect. The author, presumably George Blue Kelly, references his previous work and encourages readers to educate themselves on the psychology of the opposite sex to foster healthier relationships.

Opinions

  • The author expresses a strong distaste for ex-partners, labeling them as unworthy and emphasizing that a woman's past relationships should remain in the past.
  • Men are categorized into four distinct types, with the recommendation that women should seek relationships with "victors" who have scars but also joy, indicating a winner's mentality.
  • Trust is considered the foundation of a relationship for women, while men value effortless femininity and faithfulness.
  • Communication with exes is seen as a major breach of trust and an indication of potential infidelity or disrespect in the current relationship.
  • The author suggests that men should be allowed to take on traditionally masculine roles, such as providing for and protecting the family, and that women should support this by not undermining their efforts.
  • There is a belief that women should not quote or reference other men in conversations with their current partner, as this can cause territorial concern and frustration for men.
  • The article posits that "ghosting" in a relationship may be due to a lack of understanding of the opposite sex's brain and that individuals should make an effort to ensure the well-being of their partner rather than disappearing without explanation.
  • The author advocates for a life of sacrifice and leadership from men, suggesting that they should be willing to put their family's needs above their own, including being prepared to "jump on the grenade" for their loved ones.
  • The text advises women to be vigilant in their relationships, checking their partner's phone, living environment, and friendships, as well as evaluating their willingness to take on responsibilities and make sacrifices for the relationship.
  • The author concludes with a heavy heart, reflecting on the emotional damage caused by previous relationships and urging both men and women to find partners who embody traditional values and a commitment to personal growth and family life.

Relationship Frustrations

The Milestone Mistakes — the reasons it broke

“He didn’t even call his son” — her

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

“You didn’t even call your son” — girl

“Um…. Yeah…. No Sh*t. Why do you think your real man hates me? Oh, that’s right, you don’t know he does, because us men don’t show you our hatred towards your ex, because you still think we are full of worth and potential, enough to still do most of whatever I say like a puppet. Truth is, if I had any worth or potential I would still be with you. Think about it. I have never changed from day 1, girl. I just got what I wanted and what I wanted did not coincide with yours” — The Male Brain

Starting off with 🔥 ha-ha!

This will not cover all relationship frustrations. Leave a comment of your greatest relationship frustration. Another fun article that exposes the lies about your current, your past, or your future relationship — and mostly to help out women.

Before we move forward, let’s describe again, the ONLY 4 TYPES OF MEN THAT EXIST IN ALL DIMENSIONS ACROSS TIME, SPACE, AND MATTER:

1. Quitters: You know, men who don’t flaunt (but try to convince people they walk in humility), but they quit on themselves and they will quit on you faster than you can say, “hey babe, check this out”. Answer: Stay away. Tricks: This could be a jock.

2. Dead: Someone who has been neglected or abused and has no wherewithal. You tell them you are going to the park and he wears a suit. Answer: Unless you have the patience and you have the heart of a teacher (and probably do not have kids), stay away. Tricks: This could be a jock. Most geniuses are this. Most creepers are this, as well.

3. Wounded: Someone who could have been any of the other 3, but is now an emotional wreck. Answer: Stay away until they are healed. Tricks: This could be a jock.

4. VICTORS: ALL victors have scars. Understand that, because real women understand that a man with JOY and scars is a winner. Men flourish when they win. He is a man. And, he hates your exes, too because at some point, one of the other three men were inside you. That’s cringe. We are your 1 MAN. In our mind, you have no ex — rather, you have been rescued. You are severed by GOD from him. If you want connection with your ex, marry him again. We have said before that women only defend who they love. Pick a man. A victor wants you and everything you come with. We don’t share women (your mind, body, or spirit). The other 3 deadbeats above do share you, because they are taking/receiving from other women also. TRICKS: This is not a jock. Ever. No exceptions (there obviously are always exceptions, but in your mind, think no. Let their heart pursue you. Only show that you are impressed AFTER they prove commitment).

George Blue Kelly, says in his article The #1 Reason You Will Most Likely Fall for the Wrong Person, the charm you see initially is not the real person, “You’ve only forced them to fit into some expectations you created.” And I agree.

Continuing from the last article, here is an excerpt:

Love is war. Give it all you have. If it doesn’t hurt if it breaks, you were doing it wrong. If it broke, why? Probably he was sh*t. Was it the wrong person or did you do something stupid to break the foundation?

  • For women, the foundation is trust.
  • For men, the foundation is effortless femininity with faithfulness and to other men she’s a robot. Not blinking, not responding, nothing. REASON: The reason this is a prerequisite ties in with several things I’ve mentioned in the past, you have fallen for shi*bags, did you magically stop? So, quit responding, men who want a woman who’s heart is with another man just wants an object to make him feel manly. That’s why you’re broken. You can’t fix a broken man. You can fix your man, WHO was healthy upon your introduction and you both have exclusivity, then he entered a war and was hurt. He will turn to you if he is hurt. If he does not LOVE you, he will turn to any woman.

Men just need a great woman by their side. It’s not that difficult.

MILESTONE MISTAKES THAT CREATE FRUSTRATION AND DIVISION

  • Let’s break Frustration and Lie #1 (I will apologize in advance): Lie #1 is male exes. Your ex is ALWAYS SH*T. Get over it. You picked wrong — remember step 1 in recovery is being aware of your reality and admitting it. Pick up your pieces and move the F on. We will ALWAYS HATE your exes, you are like a screw with all the threads just all jacked up (do you really think we respect them?? What respectful man doesn’t feel bad about your story). Also, they were unified in marriage before GOD with you! There’s nothing more sacred in existence than marriage with you. Now look at you, see how little they valued you. A coward got your “pearls” (Bible term). And we are the shmucks that get to hear “He did not call his son”. He is sh*t. Always will be. Look, men, actual men would not leave you unless you were violent or just an all-around bad woman (which can be traced back to the man being horrible at finding women or they did it to you). Men find a way to win. You either gave yourself to a victor, a wounded man, a dead man, or a quitter. Accept it. We want to hear nothing about your ex. In the beginning that’s a given, yes, we want to know all about you. But, after 6 months or a year, the word “ex” is a deal breaker and I’m gone. After 6 months the word “ex” is equal to “stranger” or “rapist” (joke, but is it? ha-ha!). According to the Bible, if you are not currently married, they have NO part in your life. They can correspond with me like every other man.
  • Lie #2 is your ex is a father/mother. A father is a man who is married to the glue of the family (which is the mother) and who raises kings and queens. Mothers are the family glue (still married and happy) or she is not ready for relationship at all. Don’t need anyone outside our family circle teaching my kids anything. I don’t want them confusing my kids. I don’t want them to see my kids, they need to build their own family. All other men and women are babysitters and sperm donors and I will teach our kids nothing different. Family is generational — your ex does not exemplify no f-ing generational anything. Men and women STAY. Your male ex is like a lion who lost his territory to me, a healthy male. If we were lions he would not be calling our son, the male lion would crush him (which I have no idea why that stranger and our son would call each other), but him calling would be for another reason — you — which is lie #3
  • Lie #3 is Communication. You are worth just as much as the Bible says you are worth. Grow UP. Disconnect. We want to have trust from our significant other. We want them to be able to trust us. If your ex picks the phone up when you call, there is a 90% he still wants you or at least misses you, if you know what I mean. I have a problem with that. As Billy Graham said and I quote “The spouse approves of the friends” — what is an ex? In the comments, tell me what an ex is, biblically and psychologically, aside from a thorn in productivity and family growth. And if you say he has any rights to you, I’m f-ing done with you instantly, no ifs, ands, or buts. So, if he is not a friend, then he’s your spiritual husband still. You are joined with your man in spirit or you are joined with, well… your man. God gives no exceptions about the brain. God said “LET NO MAN SEPARATE” — plain English. This is a strong neurological bond that God produced, but as long as you have not broke it, you’re married. Your ex is still a man, same as me. We don’t have enough wherewithal to understand common courtesy for the other gender. HE TALKS TO ME, which means you and I get to switch phone numbers, yay! If any woman texts me, she will texting you (and you won’t be getting any, because I’m not cheating on you) and we will see once and for all that I am right, your exes still want you, because you will see them whine like a freaking baby who tripped and did not even get scratched when I respond to them. I promise their texts will dwindle to 0 — meaning, you’re f-ing female and you are sexy. They will create fake Facebook profiles and message you, they will create new emails, skyscrapers to see you, comment on your posts like a creep does, etc. And you NOT respond at all is the standard, because we have set that boundary with men who want to have sex with you; you will really see who they are (unless I can be friends with a female who wants to jump all over me — equal is equal). That is healthy to watch for you. Let’s put it this way, since women like privacy on their phone (and my phone’s password will be given to you immediately and without me needing prompting like an adult) and women text all freaking day, all those times when you laugh at a text when we are busy with housework, we will think it is him, because you defended him, etc. You still want to be the one to contact the man who sweated all over you. That’s sketch. We can’t trust you if you defend men that are not family. If there is any room for division, it’s going to happen. Don’t be an Eve! F-that, when that fruit dangles in front of you, you say, “Oh, a new, pretty fruit in my garden — Hey babe! Come check this out!”. Prevention is the ONLY way. This includes seeing them in public. If you will not hug your rapist, do not hug them. Or you just stir up their brain chemicals again. No “hi”, no smile, nothing.
  • Frustration #4 is women quoting other men. Yes, women, we have noticed that you quote us or at least take a topic that we said, “taught you”, and you brought it up in a conversation like a week later, not even knowing where it came from. That is so BEAUTIFUL. It makes my heart warm. When we hear you do the same for another guy, you have our attention, we have become alert about our territory’s health and strength.
  • Frustration #5 is My man work. You: “my brother/dad will be coming over to fix the gutter”. “Hold up, just yesterday you said you might want another gutter and you did not give me a chance to finish cleaning the freaking cars first.” “Can you do it? I mean, do you know how?” “…” Women, let the man be the man, let him stress over it or you will frustrate the sh*t out of him. That’s what God made him for! Why didn’t you call your mom? Let your man develop! As Pastor Harold Eberle and his wife said in the book Two Becoming One, “Let him be the man.” He will love you more if you let him build for you. It’s for you! All things between you two have been in scientific order, to include sex, so he wants to do what you need out of neurological response. That’s why God made gender. Honor it. Men, same thing! Honor her femininity!

#6: Let’s talk Ghosting

Ghosting, to me:

  • means you met with a man who deleted my contact information and you did not know how to get back in touch with me.
  • Or, you lost your phone.
  • Or, you died because your male judgment is bad, because you did not read the book The Male Brain, by Louann Brizendine, M.D. (Harvard & Yale Alumna), author of The Female Brain.

So, don’t be weirded out if I find your profile on Facebook and send you a message to just check. Because I would feel better even if you died, because that means you might have posted an Instagram post one day that said, “I said Yes!” So, the reason I bring this up, is because I have been a man who ALMOST deleted contacts in a woman’s phone, blocked them, and deleted men from her dating apps. That was in my early 20’s. That would make it look like he deleted her to her and she deleted him to him, if it was on a dating app. That is brilliant! So, if you ghost me, you better be ready for a message from somewhere over the internet to make sure a guy did not delete my stuff and you thinking I left you. Even guy friends of yours HAS deleted at least one of your messages and contacts. Bet. Because, I’ve been that guy friend also, ha-ha! They ALL have killed at least one connection of yours. You being of such high value, why do you think I would not find you elsewhere to make sure? Another reason I HAVE to reach out is because I fear an ex killed you. Because your ex is sh*t, remember. Ha-ha! I need to know you’re leaving. Just tell me, so I don’t think something happened to you. If you are worried about a big blow up, then you found a boy, not a man. That’s your issue.

Women: Buy the book The Male Brain by Louann Brizendine, MD

Men: Buy the book The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine, MD

Quit frustrating your finance/spouse, respect their gender/brain. The common saying is true, “you never know what you have until it’s gone.” I can attest to that 1st hand.

Personal note

Just yesterday I had to part ways with someone. It crushed me, but I could not wait any longer to have the Status Talk. Even today, on Memorial Day 2021, that is a double blow. She was the best person I have met, thus far in my life. We did everything together (well, all the stuff her and her exes did not do…). She set the bar perfect (aside from knowing men). But, her exes just f*ucked her emotions, so much that she needs a lot more time. To the point of her saying she never wants to marry again. Please, women, please, please, please, do not trust ANY f-ing man without legit life proof. Look at his bathroom. Check his phone. Ask his friends uncomfortable questions — asking them those questions shows if they are shmucks, too. Who are his friends? What would his exes say? Find them. Look at his wall, what type of accomplishments does he have — what does he value, what does he live for, does he promote medals that are just given to people who pass entry level standards, such as Army Basic Training (which are the Army Service Medal and the Global War on Terrorism Medal)?

Personal Photo. Certs: Positive Psychology (not shown), The Science of Well Being, Non-profit Professional, Life Coach. Degree: Criminal Psychology. Military Awards (Translated for civilians: Combat Action, NATO, NCO Professionalism, Army Commendation, Armed Forces Service Medal, Unit Superior Award, more).

Can he pray in public? Doesn’t need to be like a pastor, but does he hold the faith to obey God and lead? Does he open every door for you, more so, in the rain and snow? If you have kids, does he jump in and engage with them with relevance and ownership? Does he understand the female brain? Does he continuously learn truth? What about him makes you think he has worth?

Will he jump on the grenade? Is that settled in his heart? Will he work for you, for the kids, and for his job without acting babyish TIME AFTER TIME? Give up his food? Change a diaper when it needs changed without needing to be told like a teenage boy? A life of sacrifice. God created men to lead, sacrifice, teach, and die for the betterment of the church and the country they live.

Today, I have a heavy heart. And it is because of quitters, dead men, and wounded men. I hurt, as these men took everything from her and right now, today, eat f-ing funnel cakes and look for another woman to destroy. Will you be the next victim? Or will you find those like me, the victors?

Men, does she hold traditional values?

  • family structure
  • male-female communication
  • ethics
  • rearing
  • science and results-based family life
  • self-respect, dignity, honoring what belongs for you (FOR you, not TO you. I’ll hit this in the next article. The art of giving freedom to someone)
  • adventure
  • Gold-Standard intimacy

More topics that tie into this subject by the same author to see the fuller picture of what he’s painting:

  1. Do You Love With the Heart of a Soldier?
  2. Relationship is Neurological Equality: Detailing the psychology of what relationship looks like
  3. Do Not Trust This, Do Not Trust That, Because of This & That: Everything stays the same, no one has the ability to learn
  4. The Principles Inside the Lion King Movie
  5. And the Beginning of it all!! A Combat Veteran’s Letter to Female Friends: The Reasons I’m Friends with You, part 1, 2, & 3
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