Do You Love With the Heart of a Soldier?
Or do you ring the bell before you get hurt, like a man-child?
This topic hit home with me the other day and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I caught the blood in my heart pumping very warm. Like when it’s “game time”. Not out of frustration, but out of passion. I want the best for people I’m helping, because I can put myself into their shoes and feel it. And I think about the miscommunication and destruction that I see could occur in my own life and it scares me when it is preventable. Who would quit on their fantasy or dream when it actually is right in their hands — they have it! Keeping it is the hard part. This goes both ways and I will discuss this with both genders. This looks different if you are a woman since the female brain fires differently than the male brain, per Neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine, M.D., Yale and Harvard Alumna; covering both could not be more critical. I almost tied this in with some milestone mistakes because both topics (love and stupidity cross paths often), but I’ll make that a different post, so people can clearly follow both.
May this help someone out there…
Before we talk about loving with the heart of a soldier, let us define how men and women love.
Women
It takes the female brain a little while to synchronize with intimacy with a man if there is not foundation of trust/friendship built there. The heathy female knows she holds great power and value in just being a woman. No effort needed, aside from developing the woman within. Friendships can happen fairly quick, but to access the whole woman — the woman that acts differently when he is around and the woman that would describe herself as “goofy” or “stupid”. That’s when she loves. That takes trust. And trust is built by his sacrifice. Every man needs a war to develop well.
What I have just described is a healthy woman in mind and spirit. There are many women that just fall for any guy that will lie to them. There are many reasons for this negligent behavior, but that is not what this article is about.
Men
For men, love is an action word. Love is something that men decide to do with a woman who can make him use the word “perfect” when he thinks about her mind, body, and spirit as a whole person. More so, just mind and spirit. To include her children if she has any (keep in mind, the healthy male has a spirit of ownership that is valorous and handsome. He will take in the kids, but will not like the sperm donor — ever. He’ll just be nice, because you still love the sperm donor even though you will deny it. Women only defend those their heart goes out to).
Love must be superior, over his attraction. Attraction for men is a rush of chemical reactions. What women get after they cuddle and talk with a man they love for 30 minutes is what he feels when his eyes merely catch her even just standing in a coffee line.
There will be times when his attraction precedes love. Give grace for that, but still hold the line and the standard that there is an order to things. Before he gets what he is attracted to he must show a life of sacrifice and sheer commitment. So that after he gets what his chemicals are firing for, he does not leave or “change” (although men do not change, after sex their true colors come out).
The Impediment
I do not know the impediment for people holding themselves back emotionally, aside from a ton of weird influencers telling people to. But, I do know a few things:
- The divorce rate — even for those who “hold themselves back until they ‘find’ their ‘one’ person”
- I do know that people suck and quit on themselves, destroying literally the spin of the earth around them
- People are tunnel-visioned. They see their parents and they say “love isn’t real”. People, people, everyone’s parents suck, they are not God. F-off with that crap, ha! Your parents do not mirror truth. Truth doesn’t need help; perfect scientific order and obedience is truth. When all the sciences are put together, that is the literal definition. You know if you had good parents. OOOOOOOOHH, do you! You would be loving the word “marriage” and “vulnerability” if you did. Your parents are not the pinnacle of life. Your quitter friends aren’t either. The sad thing is, lies will trend and my words seemingly always end before they even reach someone to mend
- Which leads to impediment #4: You cut off information for other people, just as other people, you. If your circle is not full of Special Forces of life, you have no idea if love is possible. So, stop spreading lies from the regular military. Join the elite. Being elite happens after you face your fear.
LOVE WITH ALL YOU HAVE
(LOVE — NOT SEX, LOVE. To know the difference, go back and read how men and women love. Nothing about sex there…)
The regular military is not Special Forces, just as you have the choice to be a soldier for love or ring the bell. If you are not all in, like burning your ships, you do not love the way you think you are and have no idea what it means. Men, women need to know that you are going to cover them — they need to see sacrifice, real f-ing sacrifice. Women have to love being a woman everyday around you. They would like a man in their life. Like those marriages that drained the man of everything and both spouses fell apart, be that— except Navy SEALs don’t fall apart on mission, they find a way. Love is the operation, the mission. Work hard, love hard, play hard (not party, for the weird people who can confuse the two).
Women, men need your loyalty as they know it. Loyalty means you are in their corner when they cannot see you, but they know that are there when they turn around in the ring. Even with missing limbs, you are f-ing there, with a closed heart to AAALLLLLLLLL other men aside from family — including childhood guy friends — women, come on, men grow up or they have a chemical imbalance in the brain.
MEN: DO YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO STEP FORWARD PAST YOUR PEERS AND LET THE WHOLE WORLD SEE YOU? No matter what, you lay your life down in public, showing the world who your bride is. NO HESITATION AND WITH TRAINING. Can’t forget training. Without training you will look weird. Life experience is training. Take a mother-flubbing mission trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gain a heart of masculinity. If you have not lived it, you don’t actually have a strong, tested heart. And when I get into the Milestone Mistakes in my next article, your heart will fall apart like ice cream in the sun and you will scare her away.
WOMEN: DO YOU KNOW HOW TO BE A WOMAN? I understand trauma might be an issue — especially if you have always had men knocking down every tree in your yard (meaning, you’re too pretty to believe anything any man in your life has ever told you. Even your father lied you to about men, to keep you safe — your life is just full of trash and I’m sorry). I’m sorry for two reasons:
- Life will let you die alone without a care in the world (and before you say “well, fine”, remember, your wall is your lie. You do care, don’t fail yourself and lie).
- I’m sorry you have no men to help you navigate all the snakes. That sucks. Still, life will let you die, so it’s time to reach out to me so I can help you. Seriously! If I don’t like him, then that means he’s a boy. Too easy. You have nothing to lose. Also, buy the book “Christ’s example of masculinity” and men will still deceive you — I have seen women miss this hundreds of times.
- You want a man with scars who is living a good life and is doing it with joy
- A victim-minded man is one with scars, but needs to be healed before you approach. Still better than the last male category
- Quitter. He’s the one that rang bell. Doesn’t matter why — mental or physical. Point is, he ran the bell. He will not be able to navigate you, ha-ha! He will totally flop everyday and you will keep falling away from him. But, if you have invested yourself in him and took his rent deposit (lol, innuendo), then you will always let him back in your home.
It’s too easy.
Love is war. Give it all you have. If it doesn’t hurt if it breaks, you were doing it wrong. If it breaks, why? Was it the wrong person or did you do something stupid to break the foundation. Talking about stupid, this is my next article! I told you both topics go together. Both topics make up what relationship is in a nutshell.
Again:
Men — love is a choice. Who will you love over your greatest passion and part of your identity? Women are not objects. Stop screwing them up. There are so many men who could have had them. But you…. just get neutered. I’m not joking, women are too valuable for your game. Living a whole life of not trusting men. Depleting her heart to the point no man can talk to her for 1.5 years… Disgraceful for being a man.
Women — love takes a journey. This also means you have to put forth femininity, of course. Make him win your heart, before you give him the body. I hit on this earlier. Or you’re an object and you just made him a quitter, because you just told him he could ring the bell and still have you. So, why would he torture himself to become Special Forces? He has no reason to train anymore. He can be abusive as men are who are not victors and you will still stay, because you are the glue to family. Glue tries to fix things, but glue only works when it follows the directions. You have not followed the directions. Make him develop! But, don’t tease. That just creates frustration — which is also part of my next article.
Sade: Soldier of Love
Read more:
Think he’s a friend? Think again