Playful Humiliation Is the Sexiest Kind of Teasing

It’s the kink I could never name

I’ve always been adamant that I’m not into sexual humiliation. But it turns out I just didn’t understand myself enough.

I was turned off by the idea of it because I get embarrassed very easily. The last thing I wanted to do was seek out more of that discomfort.

That made me feel a bit out of step with the kink world.

I’m into sexual submission. I get turned on by people who can pull off a dominant attitude. Bondage puts me in a good place and I’d love to try being someone’s rope bunny.

But I could never get off to anything that was labeled sexual humiliation. I was completely put off by the idea of being called a whore or a bitch during sex. And spitting on me with disdain or mocking my body in any way are completely off limits.

Seeing that kind of thing in porn made me uncomfortable, too.

I’m into dominance and submission. I love bondage and I find rope play completely fascinating. But whenever I came across videos that showed a performer being mocked, degraded, or insulted, I had to find something else to watch.

Instead of getting horny, I felt bad for the people on screen.

I knew that I shouldn’t. This was their kink and they had found a way to share it with the world. I was also aware that there are a fair amount of women who get aroused or find some other kind of satisfaction from being degraded in a safe context.

But I also knew that I would feel horrible if I was in their place. Being on the receiving end of that kind of treatment would be distressing for me.

I could ignore a bit of light degradation in my porn,. I could click ahead to skip it like I do whenever a blowjob scene gets too gaggy for my tastes. But I knew it would be different in real life. If I ever heard that kind of language while having sex, I would probably have to use my safeword and call a timeout.

There are a few things I personally need to get in the mood. I need to feel like I’m the submissive one (though I might be able to domme a cute girl if I was given the opportunity). There also needs to be a playful tone — too much seriousness feels weird and awkward. And I need at least a bit of passion and some kind of emotional connection.

But the thing I need the most is to feel safe. And I can only get that when I know I’m being respected.

So, I crossed humiliation off the list of kinks I was open to experimenting with. It just wasn’t for me.

Except I kept having this nagging feeling that I had written it off too quickly.

I felt drawn to humiliation in the abstract. I kept coming back to fantasies and porn that had a lot of verbal teasing and some light mocking. But the difference was that none of it felt insulting.

Then one day, it clicked. I have a humiliation kink — a big one, too. But only when it’s playful and positive.

Turn Me Into a Sex Robot

I’ve been intrigued by arousal products ever since I heard of them.

They’re meant to get you physically aroused and some of them do a pretty good job at it. They’ll make your clit feel like it’s throbbing. They can get you wet. They’ll keep your mind on your pussy for as long as the tingling effect lasts.

But I have this recurring fantasy that I find one that’s so powerful it makes me lose control over my body.

It doesn’t just make me wet — it makes me so fucking horny that I’ll do practically anything. One dab of it on my clit and I turn into a pliable, panting, and lusty gal craving some satisfaction.

I used to think that fantasy was about submission — and it is. I don’t want to be in charge during sex, and what better way to let go and give the reins over to my partner than by letting the horny, animal part of my brain take over?

But there was always more to the fantasy. If I really let it play out, it wasn’t just a scene with me getting so horny I would have zero inhibitions. It also involved someone teasing me because of it.

I got really turned on by the idea that whoever was taking advantage of my overwhelming desire would be playfully mocking me for it.

They would comment approvingly on how horny I was, that they could probably do anything they wanted to me, and that I would absolutely love it.

I didn’t just want that fantasy dom to make me hot all over — I wanted them to make me blush.

Make Fun of Me, Daddy

I love the concept of love languages, but the basic five aren’t enough for me. My biggest one isn’t even on the list.

I express my love, affection, and appreciation of people by teasing them. When I really like someone and I want to strengthen our intimacy, I poke fun at them.

To me, it’s a sweet gesture. There’s just something about being teased that makes me feel really special.

It’s because you can’t tease someone effectively without knowing them.

Teasing them about superficial things is just mean. Teasing them about something they just mentioned is fine. But if you want to do it really well, you have to tease them for their quirks, something stupid they did back in eighth grade, or the silly things they’re just a little too proud of.

You have to pay close attention to someone before you can properly tease them. So, it makes me feel seen and appreciated when I’m on the receiving end of it.

In the right context and from the right person, it also makes me hella horny.

And I get especially turned on when someone I really like doubles down on it — not just getting me hot by teasing me, but teasing me for being so into it.

There’s something about it that feels more intimate than just being seduced and fucked. It makes me feel like my arousal is noticed and appreciated.

It doesn’t have to stop once the sex starts, either. That kind of teasing makes perfect dirty talk.

I can’t get turned on by insults and degradation. But when my husband gently humiliates me for my horniness, it just works.

During the foreplay, he’ll tell me that I must be an eager little slut because I’m so wet even though he’s barely touched me.

After he edges me to the point of delirium, he’ll playfully mock me for breathing heavily and not being able to contain my squirming.

And when he makes me come so often that I’m begging for him to fuck me, he won’t do it before teasing me for being so desperate. Sometimes, he’ll just grin and say “You just can’t resist my cock, can you?” before sliding it into me.

It’s humiliation. It’s meant to embarrass me a little — and it does. But it feels so playful and loving that I can’t help but be into it.

The proud look on his face when he gets me to that point, the slight mocking tone in his voice, the fact that he knows it drives me wild — it all feels like praise for being so eager and willing.

She’s So Horny, It’s Almost Pathetic

The porn I watch never has the word “humiliation” in the title. It doesn’t show up in the description, either.

But it’s a feature of a lot of the scenes I keep going back to.

I used to search for party scenes on Pornhub and look for videos set in college dorms and frat parties.

You could tell they were staged. The camera movements and the sound quality made it clear that they were shot by a small crew. The people at the center of the action might be playing unsuspecting college students, but they were porn performers.

But that’s not what made the scene for me. I was in it for the extras.

Maybe they were real college students who were just there to watch people fuck. Maybe they were friends of the crew who were paid a few bucks to act like they were partying.

I have no idea. All I know is that they were really active spectators.

The men (and sometimes women) watching would hang back and comment on the action happening in the middle of the room. And more often than not, the things they said were playfully humiliating.

They would comment on how horny the performer looked. They would talk in the third person about what a dirty girl she was. Sometimes, they’d cheer her on while she fucked and sucked with increasing enthusiasm.

I couldn’t get enough of it.

It’s not because I want an audience. I’m more of a voyeur than an exhibitionist, so if anything I’d want to be one of the girls holding a red Solo cup and shouting encouragement at the people who are fucking.

It’s because there was a whole chorus of voices teasing her. A whole group of people constantly calling attention to how aroused and hot she was. A room full of people repeating the kinds of words that would make me feel slightly embarrassed and highly appreciated if they were aimed at me.

Make Me Blush

I have no clue why I’m into this kind of humiliation. I wish I had some kind of grand explanation that tied it all together.

I don’t really have a formative experience I can point to. I was never the horny girl stripping and fucking in the middle of a room full of excited frat bros. No one ever playfully degraded me while fucking me — no one ever really said anything, in fact.

I’m getting the humiliating dirty talk that I love now, but it’s a very recent development. This is a kink I’ve had for years before I actually got to experience it.

Maybe it’s because teasing feels more real than praise. There’s something sincere about it. It never sounds polished, faked, or forced. It’s raw and brutally honest, and that makes it hot as hell.

Maybe it’s because I get embarrassed so easily that getting horny around someone else or doing anything sexual has always felt a little bit humiliating. I was bound to eroticize that feeling.

Playful humiliation also takes that uncomfortable feeling I already have and turns it into something exciting and positive. It reassures me that my desires are a good thing instead of leaving me feeling ashamed for having them.

I’m not sure I’ll ever get to the bottom of this, but it doesn’t really matter. All I know is that I don’t want to live without it. And now that I have a label for what I want, I can always make sure I get it.

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