Queerly Trans

Nope, I’m Not Going to Tell You Whether I Have a Hairy Butt!

“Logan’s Corner” writing prompt: “Frequently Asked Questions”

Setting boundaries can get weird after starting Testosterone.

Well, my life has always been a bit weird, but some days are weirder than others.

I get so ridiculously excited every time I meet a trans masculine person, a trans man, or any enby who relates to basically any small part of my experience, that boundary setting can get awkward.

Sometimes I feel really isolated as a queer non-binary trans man.

I pour through KP_the_writer’s Testosterone posts on a daily basis just to connect with someone who understands. You should, too, whether you relate or not. We’re on a wild ride over here and some of the resulting conversations are really entertaining. I intend to read every post from T Day and Beyond sooner or later just to get to talk through some of the weird s*** that’s continuously happening on Testosterone.

I’m also eager to read more of G. L. Balend’s work, as I see that he’s got a wealth of writings about his experiences. I particularly related to his concerns about lack of representation of trans men in media, which mirrors the absence of guys like me in my social life. The absence of that representation and group trans masculine support leaves me feeling all of the imposture syndrome described in Danny Jackson H.’s writing “When Will I stop Doubting That I’m Really Trans?” I need to run over and read more of his stuff, too!

If you are a trans man, trans masculine, an enby of similar experience, or otherwise think I would relate to your work, please leave me a comment so that I can find work from more of my people to read! Feel free to link something in particular that you’d like me to start with.

My dear Aunty Kitty Whitemore has the opposite problem, which is absolutely worth reading about, as well, as I think it’s a common issue for trans people who get inundated in the trans bubble. Maybe I’ll be in that situation someday. Until then, I’m desperately seeking trans masculine stories.

But that’s not what the title of this article promised to address and I promise I didn’t just shamelessly feed you clickbait.

You came here because you were wondering why I felt the need to insist that I’m not disclosing whether my butt is hairy.

Well, as I said, Testosterone can make things a bit weird.

In the excitement of meeting any other trans masculine person, things can get really intimate, really fast. A trans dude trying to decide whether to get on Testosterone faces a mountain of terrifying uncertainty.

I know there are a thousand questions racing through your head, if you’re trying to make this decision right now. I’ve been there. I have an overactive imagination, too. It also didn’t begin to help me prepare for all that was going to happen.

• Are we going to go bald? (KP_the_writer has us covered on worrying about this.)
• What on Earth is going to happen to our genitals? (KP_the_writer tackled the same question here with finesse. Another fantastic writing on this topic by theoaknotes can be found here.)
• Are we going to have our mental health get way better or way worse?
• Is this transition going to affect my resume? What about my job prospects?
• Are we going to become terrible drivers?
• Are we going to get angry?
• Are we ever going to be able to cry again?
• Is going to the bathroom about to get even weirder?
• Is going to the pharmacy about to get super awkward?
• Are we going to start getting fiercely protective of people we care about?
• Are we going to smell bad?
• Are we going to get stronger?
• Are we going to start liking Science Fiction?
• Is our sexual orientation going to change?
• Are we going to be a diversity hire at our next job?
• What’s going to happen to our voice? (Note to self: I should probably answer this question. TLDR: I’ve at least temporarily lost my ability to howl at the moon.)
• Are we ever going to be able to ask for directions when lost again?
• Are we going to get hairy butts?

That last question comes up with surprising frequency, so if you asked me this question or mused wonderingly about your prospects of obtaining a hairy butt at some point in your trans masculine future, you are far from alone. This is a serious concern in the trans masculine community.

I feel for you, dudes.

Seriously. It’s scary not knowing whether your butt’s going to get super hairy, while you decide whether to get on man juice, if you’re thinking that you don’t want a hairy butt.

Unless that’s what you’re hoping for. Then, that’s awesome that your butt might get hairy! I’ll be over here cheering your hairy butt on.

If, like me, you’re completely indifferent to your own hairy butt status, then right on! The mental health benefits are probably worth it, whether my butt got hairy or not.

Regarding the actual status of my personal butt hair, I will neither confirm nor deny my exact position upon the butt hairiness continuum.

Regarding the actual status of my personal butt hair, I will neither confirm nor deny my exact position upon the butt hairiness continuum.

I have to draw the line somewhere in the category of unexpected intimacy with strangers, acquaintances, and the general public at large.

I’m practicing setting clear boundaries, and this seems like a great place to start!

As for making that decision on whether to start taking Testosterone as one possible part of your gender transition, all that I can tell you is that you are just as much of a man, dude, masculine person, enby, or whatever label or adjective best fits now, as you will be after deciding whether to go this route or not.

This is in response to the following writing prompt from “Logan’s Corner”:

Did you enjoy this writing? Don’t forget to follow and subscribe to Queerly Trans so you don’t miss other trans stories like this!

Have your own queer trans story to tell? Come join us or check out one of our writing prompts to get you started in writing your own stories!

Interested in signing up for the Medium to access all of our writers’ fantastic articles for only $5/month? If you would like part of your membership fees to support me and other Medium writers at no additional cost to you, sign up here or click on the membership link of your favorite writer at Queerly Trans to support them!