Men, Compliments Are Just A Start
Why as a Man You Need to Do More Than Just Compliment
We live in a society where “good” women are expected to be modest about their beauty, humble, and even seemingly unaware of the extent or power of their beauty. Women are expected to swoon at a man who can compliment her and to be people-pleasers, particularly toward men.
This is, however, slowly but surely changing and shifting toward a more empowering look at women. Even Barbie, in both her latest doll iteration and in her representation in the latest Barbie movie by Greta Gerwig, is embodying this shift: to show how women actually are in charge of our own magnetic powers, our so-called objectification, how female desire and power can and actually should be more centered in our culture.
My articles that explain why men need to do more than the bare minimum and why women need to more en-masse reject men who are essentially sundries (non/essential items that provide little value to women) have gone viral, attracting attention equally from both those who found that my message resonated and “haters,” men and women who are manosphere-adjacent and who fail to recognize their privileges or the validity of my points, because of their own struggles in dating.
Men, it serves you to humble yourselves, to be confident but also recognize that confidence in women is attractive. A true “alpha”, or evolved, man recognizes that an attractive women knows her beauty but isn’t consumed by it. She is challenging you to interact on a deeper level. A conscious, evolved woman challenges a man to understand that physical intimacy is only deepened and meaningful in the context of emotional and spiritual intimacy.
Men often think if they behave “nicely,” complimenting a woman, buying her drinks, etc., that a woman should reciprocate in terms. Men: it is not truly nice if you are behaving nicely to a woman only to sleep with her. Courtship and meeting a woman’s needs are the bare minimum. A woman owes you nothing. Also, while compliments are appreciated, actions in terms of showing other love languages speak louder than words.
As I wrote in my “Is It Wrong to Weaponize My Spirituality?” article, “… I am demanding the other love languages because, as a highly spiritual person, I believe that dating and relationships should help us to heal and raise our own and each other’s vibrations rather than to lower them.” As women, we need to center our own needs and stay authentic to those needs. We must demand men treat us better.
So men, if you are affected by the loneliness epidemic that is disproportionately affecting young men, you stand to benefit by learning to be more conscious in how you approach and relate to women. Help a woman raise your vibration; understand that relationships are not inherently easy, and that anything meaningful takes work, integrity, and communication.
In acting in integrity, we authentically articulate our needs to each other, we treat one another with respect, and we understand that allyship and communication are higher values than the construction of monogamy, which can so easily foster deception, subterfuge, and acting out of integrity.
As I wrote in my piece, “We May Not Be Naturally Monogamous, But Men and Women Need Each Other,” “Rather than thinking about what you can get out of the relationship, or seeing another person as someone to possess, a perspective of allyship and compersion fosters a more conscious, spiritual, and authentic connection.” Understanding that relationships and energetic entanglements are not about ownership, but about respecting the other person’s needs and autonomy and understanding how to negotiate your needs with another person’s entails a radically more conscious and accountable way of living.
A more conscious and accountable way of living and dating requires more effort, more transparancy, and more vulnerability, but it ultimately helps to build stronger, authentic relationships where you can love one another in integrity and serve to help lift each other’s vibration. Relationships are about learning communication, boundaries, energetics, and elevating one another up.
So men, compliments are a start, but it serves you to continue to act in integrity and let women help you to spiritually raise your vibration.
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