avatarNoorain Ali

Summary

The article discusses common habits of insecure people and how Stoicism, particularly the teachings of Marcus Aurelius, can help overcome these insecurities and develop a more confident and self-assured character.

Abstract

The piece delves into the prevalence of insecurity, citing European Union research indicating that 6 in 7 people feel insecure. It outlines six habits that are typical of insecure individuals, such as excessive worrying, a lack of self-belief, avoidance of philosophy, fearfulness, boastfulness, and a lack of problem-solving skills. The article then offers insights from the Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius, suggesting that his approach to life and philosophy can guide people towards personal growth, self-acceptance, and resilience. By embracing Stoic principles, individuals can learn to accept what they cannot change, focus on personal virtues, and become more effective in their daily lives.

Opinions

  • Insecure people often exhibit a pattern of behavior that includes worrying about the future, doubting their own worth, avoiding philosophical wisdom, living in fear, boasting to compensate for insecurities, and failing to address problems effectively.
  • The author suggests that insecurity is not an inherent flaw but rather a lack of self-exploration and application of philosophical teachings, particularly those of Stoicism.
  • Marcus Aurelius is presented as a role model for balancing introversion and extroversion, and for using philosophy as a tool for personal development and decision-making.
  • The article implies that by adopting a Stoic mindset, individuals can cultivate an "unstained character" and engage in "unselfish acts," which are seen as the true rewards of existence.
  • It is proposed that engaging with philosophy can provide solutions to personal issues and that making small, consistent changes in one's habits can lead to significant personal growth.
  • The author encourages readers to embrace both their introverted and extroverted sides, suggesting that Stoicism is not exclusive to introverts but can benefit everyone in managing their social and personal lives.

Marcus Aurelius: 6 Common Habits of Insecure People That Make Them Less Confident

You might be a buzz kill, and you won’t even know.

Photo by Vinicius Wiesehofer from Pexels

Do you know someone who never stops talking about bank balance, overachiever partner, and oh-so-trendy clothes?

According to European Union’s research, 6 in 7 people feel insecure. There are more shy people in your friend circle than you ever thought.

Insecure people go by different names, such as:

  • Lack of confidence
  • Lack of self-assurance
  • Shy
  • Introvert

Some people try to call them “ambiverts.”

There’s nothing wrong with insecure people. Think for one second, are you insecure because:

  • You didn’t get any loud opportunities in your life, or
  • You’re unsure because you like it this way?

Marcus Aurelius, the roman emperor, was a close person at heart. He knew Latin and Greek and had immense knowledge. Aurelius kept a private journal, adapted to his meditation journey, and made decisions in his total mental capacity.

Though many readers consider Marcus Aurelius an introvert, he knows when to switch off his self-loathing side and become an emperor as an extrovert. At one moment, he said:

“At any moment you choose, you can retire within yourself. Nowhere can a man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his soul.”

Stoicism is a (combo) help for extroverts, introverts, and shy people. With the guide below, find relevant habits of highly insecure people to end them sooner.

Let’s start.

1. You cannot connect

One of the topmost habits of insecure people is “worrying.”

Worrying about the future is all right. Knowing what will happen in the future and still not accepting it is a bit hard.

We all know what will happen. Our intuition provides us. Sometimes, our ego stops us from thinking straight.

Marcus Aurelius said:

“Look back over the past, with its changing empires that rose and fell, and you can foresee the future, too.”

If you look back at the fallen empires, you have lessons that guarantee your future. Mix your intuition with extra knowledge, and worry will evaporate into the air.

Instead of worrying, do something about it. Mix and match lessons to stay prepared for the future.

2. You don’t believe you’re enough

We don’t live in an era where communities would send us to war when we reach 18.

During 121–180 C.E, emperors had tremendous power. Rulers didn’t seem to care about what happened. Marcus Aurelius broke the cycle. When he became an empire, he tapped into his inner realm and took out wisdom for happiness.

At one moment, he said:

Dig deep within yourself, for there is a fountain of goodness ever ready to flow if you will keep digging.”

We all have enough share of good and evil. We can mold ourselves in ways that suit us.

We’re just worried about tapping inside our hearts.

Meaning: most insecure people have never tapped into themselves.

3. You stay away from philosophy

There are two reasons why we stay quiet about the problems enveloping our minds:

  • Lack of knowledge

Insecure people take time to resolve a decision. It takes them days and weeks to inhabit a change. Do you know why? They’re afraid to learn from the right.

As Marcus Aurelius says:

“Fight to be the person philosophy tried to make you. Revere the gods; watch over human beings. Our lives are short. The only rewards of our existence here are an unstained character and unselfish acts.”

Philosophy has medicine for every illness. Have the spirit to open the book and follow the footsteps of Stoicism.

There is enough philosophical wisdom for every problem you have. Trust the philosophy and turn from an insecure person to a secure, healthy person.

4. You’re too afraid

Insecure people are always afraid.

They feel like they’re in an igloo, and a swift snowfall can harm them. Insecure people act like doormats. They’re too afraid and cowardly to take any stand or action.

But as Marcus Aurelius says:

“It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character. Otherwise, it cannot harm you — inside or out.”

Nothing can wound you unless you want to.

Not everything that occurs in your daily life can do much harm. As long as you’re “you,” there’s no point in worrying.

Fights and battles will happen every day.

Even when you sleep, if they don’t disturb your character and upset your peace of mind, never be worried.

5. You always boast

  • We all know what we could be
  • We all know how much to improve

But only 50% of us have improved.

It’s painless to point out mistakes. Change is the real key. Change yourself instead of just honing out flaws.

We all know some habits that most of us have, and we do nothing about them:

  • Binge-watching
  • Sleeping late
  • Not eating enough
  • Laziness

Remember, a reasonable person must first step away from his distractions. Only then can he improve himself to become a fine man.

As Marcus Aurelius says:

“To stop talking about what the good man is like, and just be one.”

Remove the distractions that stop you from becoming a good man.

And instead of finding flaws, change yourself by 1% daily with good habits such as:

Reading, writing, and affirming.

6. You’re not a problem solver

Insecure people have a significant problem:

  • They’re not problem solvers

If they’re anything, that’s discovering problems. As they’re too uncertain to lead or come face to face with dealing, solving problems is not their piece of cake.

This is not good!

Marcus Aurelius believes that problem-solving skills are essential. It can be needed at any moment.

You have to make decisions daily. A wrong decision may distract you from your path.

Marcus Aurelius accepted:

“Stick to what’s in front of you — idea, action, utterance.”

Try to solve or lessen the pain of a problem that you find difficult. The best way to solve a problem is to write the solutions you can afford at the moment.

For example, if the problem is to fix a door, find temporary solutions for the time being;

  • Placing a chair
  • Fixing screws

Most times, you only have to make quick decisions.

Use what’s in front of you to solve problems instead of exaggerating and worrying.

Final thoughts:

Stoicism isn’t an introvert’s philosophy.

Instead, Stoicism teaches you to become naturally introverted and extroverted. You don’t need to wear (one) cape all day. Show your extroverted side to this planet and your self-introverted side when you’re alone.

Marcus Aurelius practiced this a thousand years ago.

Question: is there scientific or historic reference to everything you practice today?

Think about it.

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Self Improvement
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