How can you rebuild your own life after TAKING A LIFE (and destroying two families)?

LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF

This is a long solitary journey I have taken. In my mind, I have had to build new conceptual frames to survive this journey.

How can you rebuild your own life after TAKING A LIFE (and destroying two families)?

This is a long solitary journey I have taken. In my mind, I have had to build new conceptual frames to survive this journey. I have divided this journey/work into such conceptual frames as destruction and rebuilding of my PSYCHIC DELUSION HOUSE, LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF AND ALWAYS THE FIRE. Much more is to come on how I have learned on this journey.

WAYNE: I will inhabit (our) body in twenty years. I’ve chosen to share with you what is important and withhold what will not be. Much like the Russian nested Matryoshka doll, we both exist in time. Each of us a complete WAYNE.

You live in a world of facts and events. These may prompt you to act; however, these events are not controlling the narrative of our life. They are illusion.

You must learn to feel. You must seek to reconstruct our mental world anew to allow for our facets of feeling to enter consciousness in our mental DELUSION HOUSE built of ideas.

Your path will take a number of unanticipated turns, however, the vital concept I share now can aid you in the journey to come. There is much work to do and you’ll need new mental tools.

New mental constructs are both difficult to formulate and use. Much like a tool belt, you will need a story to place such tools and to hook your thumbs in as you ponder the TASK of life on such mental journies. This is the genuine story — our hero’s quest — of rebuilding our psychic DELUSION HOUSE. If you do not, it will most certainly be destroyed in THE FIRE (of my own doing).

Humans live in the multi-verse of possibility. There, we require a psychic shelter. We must have a place to exist; somewhere to keep warm and dry during the storms of life. This place is our DELUSION HOUSE –All humans have one. In my present, I cannot repair our longstanding DELUSION HOUSE built over a lifetime of belief and experience. You, however, may still be able to make the necessary repairs. There are more choices of materials than you may think. As you begin to see the world with adult eyes, you will discover a multitude of new psychic materials, known as belief, with which to build our home — anew.

First, you must find the psychic tools that will allow us to access that part of yourself you have avoided all our memory-life. For so long have you imprisoned this facet, you have forgotten it even exists and renamed it — monster. It is not a monster you have locked away, but you were right to do so. You needed to lock it up so you could survive the pre-memory time. It has a true name and seeks its rightful place in our DELUSION HOUSE and to participate in our LIFE.

Our DELUSION HOUSE needs more windows. It is best to let in the natural sunlight of the fact-based living world, however, the windows must have coverings of KNOWLEDGE and storm shutters of FAITH to dampen the power of reality when it is too much. Seek to no more use green trash bags or tarps of drugs or alcohol to perform this needed service. You must seek coverings of quality and durability for the windows on the world of our DELUSION HOUSE.

As you have known always (I remember), you are not complete. Guilt about this is only a distraction. You must risk searching psychic realms for the new tools you will need. These tools will aid your development and allow you to emerge as our true composite self in the conscious world and ACT in the physical world. This search will not end with accomplishment (those will come), community (you will belong) or family (even that will be yours). There is no end to searching.

To become complete, you must explore what you call the memory palace of many rooms. Find that which you have keep locked and guarded all these long years. What resides within is not a monster. It is a facet — an essential part of who we are. You must unchain this facet, embraced and integrated it into our conscious self. It must be allowed to roam our psychic delusion house and share in the wonders of viewing the physical world. There are places only this facet can go and work only this facet can do to keep our home safe and welcoming to family and friends.

This essential facet, necessary to make us a true adult, has been hidden under many locks and chains of fear. It is these fear shackles that must be removed. Be warned, they also have a life of their own. I have learned how to fight these self-generated and living fear-shackles. You must stop building these shackles as you need not constantly be on vigil to guard against this facet. Once freed, it will aid in the design of a new DELUSION HOUSE necessary for us to live as a complete adult — a new paradigm of living.

In the jargon of the ivory tower academia, we require fundamental knowledge of cognitive, social and cultural processes that impact and transform from normal to dysfunctional. We are physical, psychological and socio-cultural. Key is cross-level coherence. You must exercise the ‘off button’ of your conscious self so that you can exist on multiple levels and trust you won’t plunge off the solid ground of sanity.

Humans are not designed to listen to such reason. We are designed to make arguments that aim to support our preconceived conclusions, not those of others or from a different time. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself what’s wrong with having sex with a dead chicken. This and other taboos, given to us by reason’s boss, were a key advantage to our evolutionary development. We are made to compete, but the winners are those that compete for social status. Reason developed to help us spin, not to help us learn. If you want to rebuild your DELUSION HOUSE, don’t appeal to reason. Appeal to reason’s boss: the underlying moral intuitions whose conclusions reason defends and seek to rebuild them.

You will have to explore past learning and knowledge — ancient Greeks and dead Englishmen discovered the tools that allow us to comprehend the psychic world and work its material to build.

Before you read the classics, start with the Preface to Plato. Plato shares the concept of FORMS (ideal) and calls it the path to virtue. As said by Socrates — the art of measurement “would make the appearances lose their power and show us the truth.” Virtue manifested in the power of will requires you to seek tools to explore the world and not an answer that would put our intellect to sleep.

In Leviathan, Hobbes set out the path of true knowledge and the risks inherent in old definitions.

T.S. Eliot recognized these risks in his Choruses from ‘The Rock’.

To appreciate our modern secular world, read John Locke’s Some Thoughts Concerning Education.

Search for them as even now they call to you from dusty books and quiet places. With hands now free to do conceptual work, you can use these new tools to build and shape a wisdom-built DELUSION HOUSE. Difficult choices await us. You must decide which of the old materials you will use (taught at home, church, and school) if any. Are there prepackaged ideas and beliefs we would rely upon or will you design our own?

You must learn the Art of Measurement. The best way to gain this skill is to play a game — PLAY SUDOKU. You are steeped in a linear-sequential world and the future will operative as a unified-field world. To gain a new understanding, you must train your physical brain to work in new ways. Only then can your consciousness recognize new patterns of being. You must learn to extend the decision-making process and allow mathematical concepts to rise to consciousness. You will be able to work in the unified-field you call a web and will become the cloud.

Want to know what is true? Just do the math. Danger lurks in the world of faith as the humanist religious has blinded humanity to reality.

If you want to know what is true, Just do the math.

Religious Knowledge = Scripture x Logic. Read the Bible and connect the text’s dots to answer your questions.

Scientific Knowledge = Empirical data x Math. Run experiments, and calculate conclusions.

Humanist Knowledge = Experiences x Self awareness. Search your feelings, and choose what you know to be true.

In your future, I seek not merely to fit my SELF into a conventional design or blueprint. This DELUSION HOUSE you are building will be my home and those of us to follow me and I would make it utile, comfortable and ascetically pleasing — most of all, ours. I trust you.

Free of the twin distractions of mobility and community, I spent my time pondering deep concepts — one was survival on the Main Line in an infamously famous and brutal prison, San Quentin.

If you are curious about prison life and the real work that goes on there, read The San Quentin News or listen to Ear Hustle.

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