If I “Pull Away” From You: Revisited
Let’s revisit when someone pulls away from relationships
I was prompted to revisit and add to two stories I wrote about men pulling away from women. I do think this is a topic that is important to keep fresh and a topic that will always be an important topic for publishers to keep iterating and a story that should be shared in high schools across America. Young ladies and women alike are being duped by the same things over and over.
We can’t move on to male development if women keep giving themselves to the same lies of men.
It all comes down to men who have been inadequately developed, can I be that honest? Why some men are inadequately developed is not a story for today. Let me know if you want to read about why men turn out to be viruses.
Men having issues with knowing how to be a good man doesn’t give them a pass. What’s done is done, regardless why. If you break a leg, does it really matter why? I’d be more focused on treatment at that point. I was in the Army Military Police; people did not like giving statements at inconvenient times, especially when they were hurt. And not just that, but why would you give a pass when it comes to the rest of your life — regardless of why they don’t know how to be a good man?
Now we have statistics. We all are statistics for something. Everything with breath falls under laws.
Reasons If I “Pull Away” from You
Why:
- They could be a dragon hunter and have secret DOD, I mean D&D (pun intended) missions to go on.
- They could be a vampire.
- They could be desperate and lure you in, but then pull away because of their financial shame, whether it is debt or in a lower financial pool than they think they should.
Side note: These are reasons why men pull away. I never said:
- all men fall under all of these — that isn’t plausible
- this list doesn’t say that your man did fall under these
- this story is not saying women don’t pull away for the same reasons — women could, obviously.
Continuing:
- He might have been hopeful about her giving more feminine responses when she is comfortable with him, but it never happened. And even after 6 months she is still either guarding herself or she possesses no confidence to show femininity. Trauma or maybe she doesn’t like him? Confident femininity is a woman’s strength. So, just as facing fear is a man’s strength, a woman facing down the intimidation of femininity and all that it comes with, is scary, too. But, men want as much femininity as humanly possible — and femininity does not equal timidity, hiding feelings, compensating, or any other negative attribute. Femininity only encompasses good things.
You can listen to this story in audio!! So, listen and drive to work!!
From this story:
One and Done
If he doesn’t want to talk to you all day, he probably wants only one thing. So, it’s not that he pulled away, technically, it’s that he played the game to make you think so, but really there was nothing there. He just wanted a night with you or he wanted to see if you were the type of person who thinks that casual is a thing, and at the same time not hurt you.
Some men, however, the men who have a chemical imbalance in the brain, might not be like this, but still cannot connect emotionally.
Salesman
Many men will persuade you into a relationship by meeting you where you want them, not where they actually are as a person or professionally or emotionally. They know the right moves and the right words. I’ve seen this a lot with boys of single mothers and no siblings.
They can even meet you at the grocery store, and since they played the game long enough they say just the right things to make you interested and get you to attend a lunch or coffee with them. Then you tell your friends a little while later after the deed has been done, “he’s different now”.
No, he’s not different. Most men can be a salesman for a few months, that does not mean they are true salesmen personalities by occupation. Don’t fall for the sales tactics of the 95%. If he uses the right words and the right touching, don’t you see the irony? A man is supposed to learn those things, specific to you, through the relationship with you. Don’t fall for the sales. After the deed is done, they actually don’t care if you leave. They’d love for you to stay and continue this, because what’s not to love, but no need.
On a side note: When women get used to a science, such as “smoothness”, they don’t give the time a day for a man who is mute, for example. It’s unfortunate; we build these barriers that should not exist. A good man can be in a wheelchair, can be short, can be in an Iron Lung, etc. A good man can have a terminal situation. Love has no barriers and they could have good hearts. They might not develop into the scientific man, but they could love better. Never know.
Do you want an event or do you want a man who is present?
For a man to be present in life, he needs to want to feel a type of connection to take him to the grocery store, a library, a 3-hour walk in the park, and…
The Main Point: He needs to look forward to crushing his fears for you. Make your man face his fears long before you give him what his brain’s really only reacting for.
Sometimes a man’s fear is a quiet time or intimacy. Never let a boy into your heart. You want a man. Men rise to the occasion and even if they don’t understand cuddle time, they give it to you. Boys are just goofy. Men will only go back to being men if women stop falling for the boy sale tactics.
Another perspective from the salesman
Is once they get the what they really pushed for, the feelings of connection that he thought were there were actually not there (love versus lust). Instead of having the conversation that he was confused about what he wanted after the deed has been done, he pretends love is fading to let you down “easy”.
Yes, at first he really thought he wanted relationship. But, after “relations”, instantaneously he feels nothing. That makes him feel a bunch of ways.
Always be friends first.
After Relations
Sometimes men will pull away because time with you was just not what it seemed like on the cover. He might too much of a gentlemen to tell you the reason why, and that would prove some manliness that he is willing to take the hate and heat. He understands he might have led you on, but at the same time, he will not continue to do so, because he actually does respect you more than most.
This is also the largest sex-before-marriage debate point of all time. They ask, “why would we want to marry someone if we find out we repel one another after marriage?” Which, I understand their point, but at the same time, if there is a health or hygiene reason, that probably needs medication or — shower time. Just saying. So, more of a communication error than anything else.
FEAR
If a man will not face those fears, he:
- Does not see a long-term relationship with you (probably will not keep you anyways, unless you’re not a developed woman and he can use you)
- Or he has some personal things, spiritual needs, or psychological things he needs to work through before he can lead a relationship with the heart of a servant and the heart of a true warrior — must have both.
Worn Out
Another reason I may pull away is if my heart is tired. If you are not someone I’d die for, I may go back and forth, emotionally. And after a couple of months say, “I’m sorry, I’m not ready. I thought I was, but I guess not. You are a great person. It’s just that I don’t feel I can run the race right now.”
Fake worn out
Say the same thing as the previous point, it’s just a lie.
I’m Married
I may pull away is if I’m married, engaged, or have a girlfriend.
Mental Health
I might pull away because of my mental health.
Retry
Another reason I may pull away is if my ex comes back and I still love them.
Sometimes I can’t tell you just in case you’re still into me and my relationship breaks off. Also, called Plan B — which is division in heart from the get go.
I’m a Spy
Another reason I may pull away is if I’m CIA. But, not likely. But! Not impossible. That’s why when someone pulls away, you let them. Instead of judging what we do not know, let them go; they might come back and be able to tell you everything. I will never leave my wife. No man who loves you and is a warrior will pull away from you. Instead, they will wed you and be with you until you die.
Many researchers (clinical psychologists, psychiatrists, fellows, etc.) have found that women find a lot of validation in the man they love. Which is why Christians put a lot of pressure on men.
In my own research called life, I just let women talk — or write. I’ve listened and read from hundreds of women talk about their past relationships. They’ve been hurt deep. Some women live with the feelings for 20+ years. Some women in their 40’s and 50’s I’ve talked with responded to this question, “do you still have feelings for the first man you liked that pursued you, even if you had sex or not — and any feelings — even if it was back in high school?” They all said yes — one woman was out of high school for 40 years and she had feelings for him.
Men who “change” and leave literally destroy the woman, if she was actually invested like a woman, statistically. Although “separation is natural” is a principle, that only applies those who did not give vows to each other. Women love vows. They love the idea of lifelong family. They long for those family feels. When both, men and women, give vows, are they not spoken forever? Or did we not say them or mean them? We must have been just performing an Instagram wedding.
When men pull away, it hurts women. It can hurt for many years. Women put self-value on sex. So, when she can give that to only one man, she feels like a million dollars. That is why many, not all, women can get violent towards a man who cheated. They robbed her of her only pride.
I’ve been asked what makes women pull away. My response was:
They don’t. Women are more forgiving and hopeful, statistically. Between 40–50% of women will stay in physically abusive relationships, per many studies. How many more would stay with crap men who do not abuse them physically? 80%?
Nonetheless, what makes the 20% of women who do pull away, pull away, would be the same as men. There are reasons women pull away that are different from my male list, too. Although there are over 5,000 differences between men and women, we are still human, so there will be overlapping items. But, on a side note, that doesn’t mean that 1 instance of overlap makes one gender the other; they still have 60,000 sex/gender factors predicting who they are.
Second Article:
Thanks for reading! Thanks for productive comments!! Thanks for the 50 claps!!! Thanks for respecting women!!!!
