Summary

The article argues that the existence of bad marriages should not deter individuals from marriage, emphasizing the positive aspects of a good marriage.

Abstract

The author acknowledges the common misconception that bad marriages serve as a justification for not marrying. Through their work with individuals and families, they have found that while bad marriages can be detrimental, akin to a prison, they do not represent the true essence of marriage. Instead, a good marriage is shown to promote kindness, understanding, family bonds, and growth, among other virtues. The article suggests that bad marriages often result from individuals' negative traits rather than an inherent flaw in the institution of marriage itself. It encourages readers to recognize the difference between dysfunctional relationships and true marital bonds, and to understand that their own relationships can be positive and fulfilling, unlike potentially negative examples set by their parents or others.

Opinions

Bad marriages are often used as a defense against marriage by those who are skeptical of the institution, yet this defense is not supported by evidence.
A bad marriage can stunt the development of children and teach them to be guarded in relationships.
The true nature of marriage is characterized by positive attributes such as kindness, promises, family bonds, effort, exclusivity, unity, growth, adaptability, and love.
Being in a good relationship is a strong foundation for a successful marriage, and changes after marriage should not compromise authenticity.
The reasons people marry are varied and personal, and these reasons should not be projected onto others' decisions to marry.
Individuals should not let the negative example of their parents' marriage influence their own choice to marry.
A relationship that does not embody the positive aspects of marriage should not be continued

It is a Misconception that Bad Marriages Defend not Marrying

Things that seem to be related might not be

Photo by ZHANNA TIKHONOVA Tt from Pexels

I understand why people who do not believe in marriage will use bad marriages as a defense for their case. Some lawyers might even do so.

In the journey through the individuals, families, and individuals in a broken family that I have worked with, each person and family falls under statistics.

It is statistics that researchers use when publishing.

When we talk about evidence for not marrying, I have not seen it yet. So, what have I seen?

Bad Marriages

So, bad marriages are like little prisons. A bad marriage where the parents do their best to just be friends and hope their kids grow to express love to someone else is weird. Just as kids have to see, hear, feel — use their five senses in order to develop, what do they learn from bad marriages? They learn to guard themselves.

Just because two people decide not to get married does not mean the two people possess bad marriage traits. If someone loves someone, then they love someone. Bad marriages are not marriage, there are a lot of negative connotations in a bad marriage.

A marriage promotes:

kindness and understanding
promises
family bonds
effort
exclusivity
“power in unity” principle
growth
adaptability
love (love is an action, always has been defined by positive action by intellectuals)
And much more!

A bad marriage is like two people in prison — well, one in prison and the other the guard.

Good Relationship

If you are in a good relationship, then it is ammunition for marriage. If you are true to the other person, but you change just because marriage, then you have been fake.

“I can’t be a parent” is not evidence, either. If you can teach ethics, then you can be a parent. I’ve seen people who had no ethics, love, or any other family trait and their children did well in life, just because they loved their spouse. Maybe that is even your story.

But, if you know that your parents did not resemble relationship, then they were not in one. They were two people who did not like each other, forced to live with the other. That is not marriage. Don’t let that influence you.

You will not turn out to be your parents. You don’t know the reason your parents got married. They could have got married because your dad lied about himself, because your mom was easily manipulated, because your mom got pregnant, because one of the spouses loved the other and wanted to “rescue” the other, because of family pressure to get married because they were “suitable”, and others.

If these are not you, then you are not your parents. Enjoy marriage. Allow the power of marriage to set you free.

Togetherness is not defined by brokenness. If something is not working it needs fixed, not continued to be labeled as what it is supposed to be. It gets tagged; meaning, “do not operate”.

What is broken is broken, don’t emanate it.

What is not broken, emanate it.

Bad marriages are representations of individuals. Marriages are representations of those who found someone they enjoy loving above all others.

It is a Misconception that Bad Marriages Defend not Marrying

Things that seem to be related might not be

Bad Marriages

A marriage promotes:

Good Relationship

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