If I “Pull Away” From You
This is just me, but it might answer why your “man” pulled away from you, too.
[Edited]
To read the latest version of this story, If I “pull away” from you: revisited, click there.
In one situation, it’s not that he wanted to pull away. It’s that you and he never magnetized — that natural connection that makes him want to talk to you all day, but has enough self-control to stay focused on work at the same time.
Without that organic connection, he cannot fill his shoes when it comes to relationships. And no, he doesn’t want to be friends with someone he is biologically attracted to unless there is potential. Life’s too short for that stuff.
Be thankful you still have all of you and you are not left with pieces if your man walked away.
List of Reasons
One and Done
If he doesn’t want to talk to you all day, he probably wants only one thing. So, it’s not that he pulled away, technically, it’s that he played the game to make you think so, but really there was nothing there.
He just wanted a night with you or he wanted to see if you were the type of person who thinks that casual is a thing, and at the same time not hurt you.
Salesman
Many men will persuade you into a relationship by meeting you where you want them, not where they are actually are who they are as a person. They know the right moves and the right words.
On a side note: When women get used to a “science”, such as “smoothness”, they don’t give the time a day for a man who is mute, for example. We build these barriers that should not exist. A good man can be in a wheelchair, can be short, can be in an Iron Lung, etc. A good man can have a terminal situation. Love has no barriers.
They can even meet you at the grocery store, and since they played the game long enough they say just the right things to get you to attend a lunch or coffee with them. Just for you to say to your friends “we’re just friends” (because even you’re unsure about him”. Then you tell your friends a little while later after the deed has been done, “he’s different now”.
No, he’s not different. Most men can be a salesman for a few months, that does not mean they are true salesmen personalities by occupation. Don’t fall for the sales tactics of the 95%. If he uses the right words and the right touching, don’t you see the irony? A man is supposed to learn those things through the relationship with you. Don’t fall for the sales.
Might be hard to believe, but connection means there is a connection (non-physical).
Do you want an event or do you want a man who is present?
For a man to be present in life, he needs to want to feel a type of connection to take him to the grocery store, a library, a 3-hour walk in the park, and…
The Main Point: He needs to look forward to crushing his fears for you.
For me, I hate skydiving, I hate the possibility of falling to my death. I only do heights when I feel that connection — I have not gone skydiving with a woman yet. If I want to know every little emotional bump she’s ever had and I think she’s absolutely gorgeous, then I’m going “skydiving”. Make your man face his fears LONG before you give him what his brain’s really only reacting for.
Sometimes a man’s fear is a quiet time for intimacy. Never let a boy into your heart. You want a man. Men rise to the occasion.
Remember how men used to be?
Men will only go back to being men if women stop falling for the boy sale tactics.
Another perspective from the salesman
Is once they get the what they really pushed for, the feelings of connection that he thought were there were actually not there (love versus lust). Instead of having the conversation that he was confused about what he wanted, they pretend love is fading to let you down “easy”.
Yes, at first he really thought he wanted relationship. But, after “relations”, instantaneously he feels nothing.
Always be friends first.
FEAR
If a man will not face those fears, he:
- Does not see a long-term relationship with you
- Or he has some personal things, spiritual needs, or psychological things he needs to work through before he can lead a relationship with the heart of a servant and the heart of a true warrior — must have both.
Worn Out
Another reason I may pull away is if my heart is tired. If you are not someone I’d die for, I may go back and forth, emotionally. And after a couple of months say, “I’m sorry, I’m not ready. I thought I was, but I guess not. You are a great person. It’s just that I don’t feel I can run the race right now.”
I’m Married
Another reason I may pull away is if I’m married.
Retry
Another reason I may pull away is if my ex comes back and I still love them.
I’m a Spy
Another reason I may pull away is if I’m CIA. But, not likely. But! Not impossible.
Conclusion
There are many reasons why someone pulls away. It is almost impossible to know why unless you know all about them. Most times no one, no woman or man, will give away the “friend” that is actually our backup plan. When this person becomes the main event, we feel bad.
But, the heart wants what it wants, even if a person is shallow and they just chase dead ends. Then, that is not the heart, that a toxic person.
The point is, if someone pulls away they did you a favor. They would have quit on you anyways.
Some additional information to learn about your man:
