Abuse Has No Excuse
How Women Use Their Families To Abuse Men
The matriarchal family is an abusive family.
My friend is emotionally and physically abused by his partner. This has been going on for over a year now. She’s gotten pregnant, even though she has told him that she has been using pills and wasn’t eager/ ready to become a mother.
All of this was just her gameplay. It was a big fat lie.
The truth is she is an abuser. The truth is that she is a narcissist and perhaps even borderline.
I am not dissing her — many people who suffer from mental health conditions should seek help for these conditions and many of them can actually recover.
The problem is that she doesn’t want to acknowledge she has issues, and she has multiple issues.
Soon after she got pregnant she started being physically violent towards him.
She made him delete all his social media accounts and also “cut down” his friend’s list. She stopped him from seeing his own family. She made him become vegan, just because she is vegan.
My friend has lost weight and is constantly hungry. Sometimes he sneaks out and goes to KFC, but he stopped because he is scared to get caught and beaten up by his girlfriend.
It wasn’t always like this. But he didn’t know her. Women like her, are very charming at first but deceitful. Women like her could sense men who lack self-respect and confidence. He was easy prey.
Her abuse didn’t stop there it progressed. She started involving her own family in this systematic abuse, especially her mother and her deadbeat sister.
You see, quite often female abusers were abused as well. Usually by their own mothers.
My friend is naive, like most abused men. So he turned to seek support and guidance from her family: he contacted her brother and found out that her brother stopped all communication with her (and with his other sister and mother)because of her behavioural problems. He basically told him that the whole family is highly dysfunctional and that the mother used to abuse the father as well.
My friend also found out that he is not her first partner who had to reach out to him because of her abusive behaviour. He gave my friend advice:
“Run, run as far as you can from her and from those witches…”
When my friend raised this new information with his girlfriend, she punched him so hard that his tooth fell off. He was stopped to go see a dentist. Her brother’s phone was deleted from his device the next day.
So as a last resort my friend turned to his girlfriend's mother but her mother protected her daughter and told him: “If she slaps you, beats you up or puts you down, there must be a reason for it. I encourage her…All men are pigs! And so are you.”
Since that day, my friend realized how trapped he was.
Just recently his partner went so far that she assaulted him in from of her own mother, just because he told her that they should start saving money as she has the tendency to buy expensive clothes — but she doesn’t work. Her mother who witnessed everything didn’t say a word. The baby was present — crying. His girlfriend kept punching him, while her mum was holding the baby.
My friend started recording all these incidents and has just recently asked me to help him buy a camera so he can also secure evidence of the abuse. Because the ugly truth is that nobody believes a man who is being abused.
The thing is, I’ve realized that it’s true when they say that the apple doesn’t fall from the tree. Women who abuse usually include their own families to help them abuse their partners even more so:
- These women involve their mother’s — lie, exaggerate and portray that the man is being bad towards them;
- They use their sisters to monitor, stalk or “talk sense” into their partners when the man finally decides to leave;
- They use their sisters to intimidate their partners in case they decide to speak out;
- They use their mother to intimidate their partners — with threats such as “Nobody will believe you, as I will tell everyone that it is you who is the bad guy!”
This happens especially in a matriarchal family.
These witches rob men of independence and destroy their confidence. These men are suffering in silence because nobody wants to listen. These men feel useless, frightened and are constantly walking on eggshells. The worst thing is that my friend is feeling ashamed of the situation and doesn't want to draw attention to it.
And he is scared of losing his son. Because what if — society doesn’t believe him?
My friend has been seriously injured multiple times, but he just could not grasp what is happening to him. He is experiencing a great sense of shame and humiliation about being abused by his girlfriend. Sometimes, he thinks of hitting her back — to defend himself. But he can’t.
Because he is a gentleman and because he has a commitment to a moral code that “men don’t hit women”. So he is helpless and unable to defend himself or his child.
So what happens if a man who’s being abused works up the courage to seek help?
Nothing!
When men make disclosures of abuse they are often met with a reaction of scepticism from the staff of domestic abuse shelters, police and other legal institutions.
These men don’t have enough places to turn to and speak about the abuse. They are left to rot in the matriarchal family to which they’ve married and slowly but surely they lose their identity. Just like my friend.
Being abused by someone they love/ed, these men feel that they had failed to achieve culturally defined masculine characteristics such as independence or self-reliance.
They have nowhere to go. So they stay and suffer in silence: they are left to slowly burn on the stake. When actually it should be the other way round.
Those witches should burn at the stakes, not the abused men.
Agree? Maxwell Jordan
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