Abuse Has No Excuse
This Is Why Most Malicious Mothers Are Also Pathological Liars
Common lies Malicious Mothers tell children.
Not all mothers are caring, loving and nurturing. They may seem that way to outsiders, strangers, schools and even professionals, but the reality of their true “hidden persona” is different — they are malicious.
I know too many men who have fallen victims to malicious exes. I know too many men who have been abused and it took them years to get over the emotional and psychological harm that they’ve experienced. I also heard of many children who are suffering at the hands of malicious mothers.
My good friend speaks about this phenomenon quite often — she is just like me an advocate for fathers. So are some of the writers on this platform such as Maxwell Jordan — he too knows very well how dangerous malicious parents could be.
The brutal truth is that we don’t speak about it too often and too loud. Why? Because society, the court system, the world prefers mothers over fathers. That’s why.
But the facts are women are more often to be malicious than men.
Doctor Ira Daniel Turkat, had identified this phenomenon — I would call it rather a disease in women. He describes a condition where a mother acts vengefully on purpose after the separation. They go to extreme lengths to harm the children, just so they can blame the other parent (usually the father).
They lie, manipulate and get purposefully into arguments over and over again. On top of that they also:
- Alienate children from their biological father and his family;
- Involve third parties into malicious actions against the biological father;
- Obstruct contact between children and the biological father.
But what these women do most often — they lie.
- They lie to their own children about the father;
- They lie to others;
- They tend to violate the law.
These lies can be small such as “I can’t buy you this because your father doesn’t pay child support and spends money on hookers” or/and big ones such as “Your father never loved you, and he has abused me in past…he is dangerous!”
They can even suggest to the child that their father is “not their real father”, they will come up with a lot of false allegations against the father and quite often they will tell everyone, literary everyone a different story!
Whatever the case, one thing that’s for sure is that the malicious mother will tell lies and make it her biggest agenda for others to believe.
What I’ve learned and realized is that most of the malicious mothers I know of have had some trauma in childhood. They are actually very insecure, emotionally unwell, miserable individuals. In some cases they are “split” personas — and that’s why they lie, to avoid the truth.
They would love to be accepted, loved and cared for — so they lie, they crave sympathy, they often say “how hard it is for them to raise a child as a single parent” — even when the other parent is so involved. Instead of accepting the other parent — they deny the contact. But to others, they lie. They say “the father isn’t involved etc…”
Unfortunatattellty the children are the ones who suffer the most in the end. Because lies told too many times eventually become the truth, especially in the pre-teen years.
Malicious mothers lie to shift a child’s perception and belief about their biological father. And if a lie gets heard often enough, it may seem to become truth, especially to a small child. Pathological lying is often seen in individuals who suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder but has also roots in factitious disorder.
Malicious mothers often lie about children’s or their own health — they fake illnesses, exaggerate to professionals about their child conditions or even make them up.
They will use phrases such as “I am not a doctor, but I know that my child has this/that…” And once again, this disorder is more common in women than in men and it’s often because the malicious mother was either neglected or/and abused in childhood.
The horrifying thing is that because they’ve been abused — now they have become abusers.
Their own family might stop contact with the malicious mother for some time, or even worse believe them. They will tell dramatic, complicated and “ridiculous” stories to people around them. One thing that’s striking is that their stories will have so much detail in them, they will be so over the top, just to make you believe them.
And in that story, the malicious mother would either be the saviour or the victim. A few examples of pathological lying from malicious mothers are:
- Telling everyone that they have been abused/assaulted in past when they have not — to gain sympathy ;
- Lying about achievements, degrees and experiences to receive admiration;
- Blaming others for something that has happened to them — often they would blame the father, for example when they are late for work/ school pick up or drop the children even though the father has only visitation rights and has nothing to do with it.
The problem is that it's nearly impossible to treat narcissists and their pathological lying.
They are often only treated for anxiety, depression but they would never admit that they are full-blown narcs. And when they lie they actually relieve the anxiety that they have within themselves — so they are unable to stop.
They lie to protect their fragile mind. They lie because they cannot or will not handle the truth and the consequences. They lie because that’s the only way they can avoid the brutal truth — that what they are doing is wrong.
They hope to hide that they don’t know how to love, obviously, because they lack empathy, they have this hole within their heart that they want to fill, but they don’t know how to fill it.
So they act viciously punishing the other parents until all their supply is exhausted — but they are harming their own children emotionally in the process. And the ugly truth is that they don’t care.
But we, the society should because there is no excuse for abuse.
Ever.
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