Friday Musings: I am a Chameleon. I am Awesome and absolutely Complex.

I must be a Foreign Minister in my previous life.

I can resonate with what Lord Palmerston left behind.

Especially one of his famous quotes.

I liken myself to a chameleon. They change their skin colour based on the environment they are in. I admire them for what they do. Of course, as a human being, I couldn’t do that although I would love to do that. Though physically I couldn’t, through decorum I could.

Just what do I mean?

I blend into the environment and respond as if I am one of the those in that setting. Pretty naturally at that. For instance, when I am in a business alliance setting, I speak nothing but complimentary notes of my business partners. I would introduce my bosses to whoever I know.

I do that even though I am a sociopath at my core. I do that even though my boss is an asshole or my business partners are not worthy of a mention.

I do that because it is appropriate to do that in that environment.

The interest in that environment requires such behaviours to be exhibited in order for commercial and professional benefits to be materialised.

At this point, I would like to quote Lord Palmerston: -

“We have no eternal allies, and we have no perpetual enemies. Our interests are eternal and perpetual, and those interests it is our duty to follow.”

Speech, House of Commons, 1 March 1848.

That Speech was delivered to the House of Commons in his capacity as a Foreign Secretary. Lord Palmerston would go on to become the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 6 February 1855–19 February 1958, 12 June 1859–18 October 1865.

When I read that simple quote for the first time, I knew that I have found a confidante in life. I am in complete agreement with this famous quote of his and he represents the giant that I would like to stand on top of in order to observe further horizons and reach greater heights.

The point that I understood from his speech is this — The nature of relationships can change in an instant. The guiding post is the pursuit of and / or preservation of national interests.

I would agree with that and I apply that extensively to life, professionally and personally.

It comes in handy when decision points arise.

When I was a kid, taking sides is a matter of understanding where that next tranche of benefits would come from.

Near dinner time? — Stand with mum.

Near pocket money dispensing time? — My dad is my ally.

My aunt saw that Foreign Ministry potential in me when I was very young, through a series of interactions I have with my grown-up relatives as well as my cousins.

When the time comes to be caned due to joined vandalism efforts — I cede my perceived right of defense and immediately got to my knees to ask for forgiveness.

Live and fight for another day, right?

Of particular sticky memory was a conversation between my mum and aunt which I overheard.

“I don’t understand my son. He doesn’t play the game of cards with his cousins. Is there something wrong with him?”

That was Chinese New Year and “benign gambling” was allowable at home.

“No no, you don’t understand your son. He doesn’t gamble as a player. He makes bets as the House. He will only play with he is the House and the odds are on his side.”

My mum observed me for that year and she was astonished by my aunt’s stark observations.

Indeed, that is true.

I wouldn’t “play” to lose all my money. That is just pure silly. As a result of that, I have been called names by my cousins. I laughed because it didn’t bother me. What bothered me was losing that little bit of fortune I had.

I remember thinking that they were so silly.

Yet, when it is my turn to be the House — I would encourage them to stay on as their persistence at wealth accumulation will pay off. Might not be now, might not be the next game, but Lady Fortune favours the brave.

From silly to brave.

How convenient!

This has been the approach I take to school and the workplace. I am extremely sensitive to the balance of power and how that tilt of power could impact my work and career prospects. Thus, I have no qualms calling my boss a boss when I needed his support, calling my boss a prick when I had to forsake him during a team bonding session over dinner.

I never thought this would be a problem because it felt so natural to me, just like eating and breathing.

Until one fateful day when an emotional bomb exploded at home.

I was told straight in my face that I am a Chameleon and there is no consistency in my behaviours and actions, and that it is very difficult to trust what I say and do.

Actually, I found this directed conversation interesting.

And true to my chameleon core, I clipped my lips to dial into the conversation coming my way. I was listening to the external conversations as well as the internal one.

“Would it benefit me if I go head on to defend myself? No, it doesn’t and better not. There is a client call in an hour’s time. Engaging in this conversation could have huge business ramifications. No, shut up.”

So, I just smiled and tried to calm the tensions in the room. It was the Policy of Appeasement in play. Neville Chamberlain would have been proud of his legacy.

Then I asked myself.

“Would I have done anything different if I didn’t have that call?”

That answer from within was prompt.

“Nothing would change. It is important to ensure that the fight doesn’t extend itself into sleeping hours otherwise tomorrow’s productivity will decline sharply.”

Nice.

So, I asked that little guy from within.

“Hey man, so when do we actually explode into the face of frustration?”

He looked at me and smiled.

“You know that Foreign Ministers don’t lose their marbles, don’t you?”

Ah, indeed.

Has the external environment changed?

If so, I will.

Am I consistent in my actions and behaviour?

Not really.

Has my guiding principle in life changed?

Not one iota.

I will be me.

A chameleon in constant state of Action — Reaction.

The entire world can laugh at me.

No problem.

I would respond with a wide grin across my face.

“Hi, how are you today? Did you manage to go through that Agreement Paper I emailed yesterday?”

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About the Author:

As a Consultant by training, I believe in making the complex simple.

Because simplicity adds value.

Simplicity helps us gain clarity, and clarity helps us to grow.

And if we are not growing, then what’s the point of anything else?

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