Weekend Musings on ILLUMINATION — The Unheard Frustrations (At Home).
We just don’t hear some conversations.
We just don’t articulate the conversations in our minds.
Have you ever wondered why?
There are many unheard frustrations at home and I have colleagues sharing those same frustrations over and over. While the stories might change to fit their household conditions, the core remains the same. Naturally, these are lunch-time, pass-time conversations yet they feel so real and compelling I believe it deserves a spot for writer’s articulation.
Warning — This ILLUMINATION piece is written by a guy.
While I do not and cannot represent all the entire male population, I draw parallels from the lunch-time conversations with my colleagues whom I forge strong bonds with based on our conversations.
For the bulk of my colleagues (males), 2020 has been nothing short of a disaster.
That has nothing to do with our work or the stock market.
In fact, we took that into our stride pretty well.
We spoke, laughed quietly and secretly hoping for the Global Economy to recover as well as possible so our retirement portfolio would increase in valuation once again. We also dug deeper in office, mutually each other in office in terms of the work that we do so we can get off that A-List for corporate retrenchment.
And ever since we have to Work-From-Home, the Fellowship of the Brothers have never bonded that strongly.
Since the start of 2020, many of us started Working-from-Home as dictated by various government policies. “Lockdown” is a term used generously, “Movement Control Order” applies to Malaysia and Singapore embraces the engineering side, using “Circuit Breaker” for similar purposes.
Staying home is a happy thing, isn’t it?
After all, we tend to rush home after 6pm so we can be home.
If we do get to rush home at 6pm.
As it turns out for me and my band of brothers, Working-from-Home wasn’t we thought it would be. Simply put, it was a rude shock.
When it comes to work — Everything was within expectations.
My peers (brothers) and I had to make more effort to connect with our teams, staying in connection beyond emails. Physical meetings were no longer possible, so virtual conferences and virtual coffee sessions replaced physical get-togethers. Our bosses were thinking of the same.
More time was spent on virtual meetings, status updates and workplace communication via texts.
What we missed from the Get-Go?
The pressures from home.
We were so self-obsessed that we forgot our parents, our kids and our spouse are all going to be at home. In our words, it was nothing short of a perfect recipe for disaster.
Our kids no longer get to school. They had to transit to Home-Based Learning. And fast. Well, that means more homework surveillance time, more technological support to be rendered and more playtime required.
The fact that we are all in one place with all doors shut didn’t stop the kids from barging into our study room as we work.
They just don’t understand the need for space.
These endearing little ones.
We cannot fault them when they look at us with their Doe’s Eyes, can we?
Then come our elderly parents. They need technical support too.
They used to be able to get to the coffee-shop to stretch their legs, meeting their fellow retirees and retelling their heroic corporate stories over and over, each time more heroic than the previous.
Now they are stuck at home.
They pop by our working desks while we are in a meeting so they can strike a concurrent conversation. While we try to entertain them as much as we can whenever we can, they will attempt to extend that conversation as long as they could even if that means joining our virtual meetings as an anonymous attendee.
Then we have our better half.
I have to say we are just fundamentally and generically different. I think for the vast majority of the readers — we can agree at this level.
Is household work important? Of course it does. However, the dynamics are different now that we are all stuck at home. It is probably just me as I am naturally inclined towards official work during work hours. Henceforth, the level of annoyance I have when household chores hijacks is at stratospheric high.
This is a snapshot of a daily household conversation.
# Enthusiastic Better Half: “Can you please put the clothes to wash? Let’s not miss the morning Sun!”
# Work-Focused Me: “That’s nice, but I have an important meeting for now. Let me do it when I am done with the call.”
# Enthusiastic-turned-Annoyed Other Half: “IF YOU DO THAT, WE WILL MISS THE MORNING SUN!”
Alright, alright.
So in order to avoid World War III at home — I will do it.
Grudgingly.
And that is not all.
# The Better Half: “Would you mind to wash the plates after lunch?”
(Actually, I really prefer to eat out because all I have to do is to return the plates.)
# The Better Half: “Would you mind to vacuum the floor in the afternoon? The dust is piling.”
(Okay, that’s it I am going to get that damn Robot-vacuum.)
Sigh.
There are light bites of the daily frustrations going round my head.
In this policy-induced cocoon of isolation and unexpected demand for interaction and housework — I very much prefer to get back to office.
At least — just for me — I get to focus on what matters and leave the weekend duties for the weekend.
I honestly just prefer that.
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About the Author:
As a Consultant by training, I believe in making the complex simple.
Because simplicity adds value.
Simplicity helps us gain clarity, and clarity helps us to grow.
And if we are not growing, then what’s the point of anything else?
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