WRITING

Everything You Need to Know About Writing Memoir…You Didn’t Think You Needed to Know

How to get on your memoir writing A-game and stay there

Memoir writing, like many narrowly niched genres, can be more difficult to conquer than one may think. But are you hitting the mark on a memoir piece or are you really writing a personal essay? Are you a memoirist or are you a humorist? Does it matter?

It matters if fine-tuning your writing matters to you. It matters if perfecting the art of memoir matters to you. It matters if knowing the difference between an essay and a memoir matters to you.

Most of all, it matters if you want to continue to grow your skills as a storyteller. Why do I say continue to grow? Because there’s not a single writer out there in this big, bad world who doesn’t have room to grow — especially in their storytelling. Some of us are in different places but we all have room to grow.

What Is Storytelling and Why Does It Matter?

Let’s get rid of fancy high-brow collegiate terms and strip down storytelling to its beautiful simplicity. In every story you’ve heard and loved, what is there?

A beginning, a pretty awesome and intriguing middle, and an end.

This is storytelling in a nutshell, folks. If you have something to share and it has a solid beginning with a really cool middle and a conclusion to the matter — bam — you have a story. Now, it could be cringe-worthy. You may need to use your better judgment. But, you have a story and you better have the common sense to know your audience. But that’s another topic for another day.

Every memoir is a story.

Every memoir should have a beginning, a pretty awesome and intriguing middle, and an end.

Every memoir is a story from your past. Think of the word memoir as a derivative of memory.

Every memoir is a story from your past. Reflect on how memoir includes the word “me.” It is about your past. It can include someone else or others. But it is your perception of the past and how the events impacted you.

Words On Memoirs…From Various Storytellers.

Here are some quotes from around the Internet by various writers about memoirs that you may find interesting and informative.

• “Memoir isn’t the summary of a life; it’s a window into a life, very much like a photograph in its selective composition. It may look like a casual and even random calling up of bygone events. It’s not; it’s a deliberate construction.” —William Zinsser
• “A memoir forces me to stop and remember carefully. It is an exercise in truth. In a memoir, I look at myself, my life, and the people I love the most in the mirror of the blank screen. In a memoir, feelings are more important than facts, and to write honestly, I have to confront my demons.” —Isabel Allende
• “I will say, with memoir, you must be honest. You must be truthful.” —Elie Wiesel
• “A memoir is my version of events. My perspective. I choose what to tell and what to omit. I choose the adjectives to describe a situation, and in that sense, I’m creating a form of fiction.” — Isabel Allende
• “Autobiography should be more stringent. It should adhere more to the standards of journalism — assuming that journalism has the truth. The memoir gives you more scope, is more poetic, and allows you to play around with your own life.” —Frank McCourt
• “Non-fiction, and in particular the literary memoir, the stylised recollection of personal experience, is often as much about character and story and emotion as fiction is.” —Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
• “One of the most challenging aspects of writing a memoir is finding your own voice, and you should be very careful about being influenced by someone else’s voice.” —Jeannette Walls

Knowing the Difference Between Writing a Memoir and a Personal Essay

One of the biggest errors we see as editor here at The Memoirist is writers mistaking a personal essay for a memoir. Hell, I’ve done it myself a time or two. That’s why it’s helpful to remind ourselves of the difference every now and then. And don’t forget — if you love to write essays, we have the best sister publication on Medium dedicated to them — Age of Empathy. (We have founder Aimée Brown Gramblin to thank for that and our amazing managing editor Sally Prag!)

My last two points in the graphic above especially highlight what makes memoir writing different from personal essays. If you are having trouble with the graphic, it reads:

A memoir is any creative nonfiction narrative writing based on the author’s personal memories. The inspiration is: 1) A moment that has marked someone’s life forever 2) Often a life-changing event no one ever forgets 3) A window into the author’s life; a glimpse into their emotional past—a spot in time 4) Typically more about the author’s experience and feelings than the event itself.

I think the keys here are emotions, feelings, and the author’s experience. And don’t forget what I said above about storytelling — having a strong beginning, middle, and end. Your middle should have a proper crescendo—or climax to the old-school die-hards out there.

A personal essay is based more on reflection, may have a lesson, opinion, or message, or has a humorous take on a specific event while still being thought-provoking and reflective.

Some Great Reading On Memoir Writing From The Memoirist

Sharpen your memoir writing skills more! We have a vast collection of articles aimed at the memoir writer right here on The Memoirist. Here are just a few to gnaw on:

• How Much Of The Messier Side of Life Do We Reveal In Our Writing? by Janice Macdonald
• Where Do Memories and Memoirs Connect? by Cindy Heath
• Memoir or Autobiography? Preserve Your Memories by Cindy Heath
• Why You May Benefit From Writing a Memoir by — you guessed it—Cindy Heath
• Don't Be Afraid of Writing Memoir by Me

and another by me:

I wish you all success in your memoir-writing journeys. If there are any specific topics you’re curious about and would like to see me write about in terms of memoir writing, please let me know in the comments. Until then, happy writing!

xo — Ki