Barring a Trans Kid From the GSA and Don’t Say Gay
Josh and Dustin learn sad lessons about love, rejection, and authoritarianism
“But Mom, it’s not fair!” shouted Josh as he ran out the front door and slammed it harder than he meant. Icy water slapped him in the belly and he started to shout again.
A gentle laugh stopped him short, and as he rubbed water out of his eyes he saw his dad holding a garden hose, looking guilty through a goofy grin.
“Not now, Dad,” the boy grumbled. “Geez, I’m not 10 anymore, OK?”
His dad lowered the hose, managing to look playful and disappointed at the same time. “Yeah, I guess that expensive 13th birthday party your mom and I are planning shoulda tipped me off, Mr. Teenager.” Then he changed the subject. “Did I hear you two yelling again? What’s up?”
Josh plopped onto the top porch step. “I told her Dustin wants to stay all night after the party. And she said no! It’s not fair, we used to have sleepovers all the time!”
His dad’s lips twisted up like they did when he got confused. “Well, you’re not ten anymore, buddy. Hm?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means your mom and I are super happy about you and Dustin, but we aren’t sure what all the rules should be.”
“You said I wasn’t different from you and mom!”
“You’re not. Seriously. You think Grandma would have let a girl spend the night with me when I was 13?”
“Dustin’s not a girl!” shouted Josh as he jumped up and grabbed the bike he’d left lying beside the porch.
As he pumped hard out of the driveway and down the street, he heard his dad calling. “Helmet, young man!”
Josh was panting and sweat-slimed by the time he skidded to a stop on the asphalt at the school basketball court. “Dust!” he shouted, spotting his friend holding down a hoop.
When Dustin turned and smiled, Josh forgot to be mad. “Least it’s not crowded,” he said. “We can play one-on-one.”
“Yeah, but the blacktop is so hot you could cook on it,” Dustin grumbled. “Look at you. You crazy pedaling that fast in this sun?”
Josh wiped stinging sweat out of his eyes and reached in a for a quick bro hug. “Mad at Mom and Dad again. Getting some anger out… I guess.”
Dustin held on tight and whispered “I missed you so much … boyfriend,” right into Josh’s ear.
Josh felt his skin catch fire as he melted into Dustin for half a second. Then he jerked back. “Dude! Not here. Geez!” He looked around fast, but he didn’t think anybody saw.
“Sorry! Wanna go get a slushie? Too hot for ball, man, for real.”
“I don’t care,” said Josh as the pair walked off the court, bumping into each other “accidentally” several times on the way to the little store across the street from their school.
“I’m so exited about the party!” said Dustin as they filled their cups. “I mean, your parents are so cool to rent a whole laser tag place.”
“I guess.”
“You guess? Dude! And then we can swim at your house and pig out, and well … Josh, I miss you. Like miss being with you in private. I can’t wait!”
“Yeah, about that. Don’t count on it.”
Dustin took a step back like he’d been slapped. “Huh?”
“No! It’s just … Mom and Dad are being weird about you spending the night.”
“No way! But … but we always … and we never have privacy anymore … Damn it!”
“Tell me about it.”
“Dude, we gotta ask some other kids what to do about parents. I mean kids … like us. Olivia keeps telling us to go that after school thing. We gotta try it.”
Josh’s heart started to pound and he breathed in so fast it sounded like a backwards whistle.
“I know you’re scared,” Dustin said. “But it’s not exactly like coming out. I mean, Olivia and some of her straight friends go. Right?”
“Josh!” said Mr. Grant from behind his clipboard. “Welcome to the GSA!”
Josh was about to answer when a high-pitched voice interrupted. “Dustin! Josh! You came!” A girl broke out of a group of about 10 kids and came running over, blonde curls bouncing, rainbow bracelet sparkling. “This is SOOOO cool.”
She put her head between Josh’s and Dustin’s and whispered in a voice loud enough to be overheard. “You guys can hold hands in here, this is a safe space.”
Josh gasped. “Olivia! That’s private!”
“That’s right,” Mr. Grant said softly. “We don’t out people, even if we think they’re OK with it. We let them speak for themselves, remember?”
Olivia looked stubborn for a second, then nodded. “Sorry, I forgot. I’m just excited you guys finally came. We’re making anti-bullying posters today, and Jamie is reading from this book he found, and then we’re gonna have rainbow cupcakes my mom baked, so if you guys wanna …”
Mr. Grant smiled and raised a hand to ask the girl to hold off. “Thanks for the rundown, but can I have a minute with the guys? Alone?”
He walked over to his desk and motioned for the boys to follow. “So, welcome to the White Sands Middle School Gender and Sexual Alliance Club. Um … I should ask, you know that’s what this is, right?”
The boys nodded in unison, looking very serious.
“OK, so before we make this official … this is a student-led club. As the advisor, I mostly just sit here and work while you guys do you, but there’s one thing the school makes me do, and that’s take attendance.”
“OK, cool,” said Dustin. “Need my full name?”
“Yes, but if I write it down on this clipboard, the school will send a note to your parents saying you attended. You OK with that? Because if you think that would be bad for you at home ...”
Dustin smiled. “My mom drove us to the movies for our first real date, and …”
“My dad waited on the porch to hear all about it,” said Josh. “This is the guy I told you about at the beginning of the school year, and …”
“And he’s my boyfriend and our parents all know,” finished Dustin.
Mr. Grant flashed a huge smile. “That’s awesome, guys. Let me write your names down, then?”
Josh lay back on his bed staring up at the dolphins he’d painted on his ceiling all those months ago when he’d been afraid to come out to his parents. Dustin flopped down beside him and said, “Laser tag was the BEST! We KILLED, man. What a team. Olivia and them never saw us coming!”
Josh smiled and pulled his eyes off the dolphins. He skootched closer to his boyfriend and laid his head on his shoulder. Then he sighed. “But it really sucks you can’t spend the night. It’s totally not fair, just because we’re …”
Dustin cut him off with a quick kiss. “Shush, boyfriend. It’s your birthday, let’s enjoy it, huh?”
“I get all shivery every time you call me that, Dust.”
“I get all shivery every time you call me Dust.”
A short knock interrupted a longer kiss.
“What!?” shouted Josh.
“You guys decent?” asked Josh’s dad. “Can I come in?”
“Whatever,” grumbled Josh, sitting up.
The door opened a second later. “Your mom wants you to hurry and change into your swim suits.”
“OK, Jerry,” Dustin said. “We were just talking.”
“No big deal, but your guests are out by the pool and I’ve got the coals lit already. So, you know …”
“Dad, you don’t have to keep checking on us! Geez!”
“There’s the birthday boy! And boyfriend!” Josh’s mom ran over and hugged Josh and Dustin as soon as they walked out onto the pool deck. “You guys look so cute together!”
Josh rolled his eyes and Dustin looked at the ground, but Olivia ran over and started singing Happy Birthday, and pretty much everybody joined in, and before long cannonball splashes and laughter drowned out Josh’s embarrassment.
“Hey, thanks for inviting me,” a quiet voice said into Josh’s ear a couple hours later. “This is the best party and your parents are so cool.”
Josh turned and saw a small, black-haired boy he vaguely recognized. “Yeah, they’re OK. You’re, um … Mateo, right? From pre algebra?”
“Yeah, and we have gym together too but I mostly don’t go. Olivia invited me. She said I should meet you guys.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“I just can’t believe your parents! Like, they know you’re boyfriends and everything. I couldn’t believe it when you came out at school. Musta been really hard.”
“I guess,” said Josh. “Not like we had a choice. Once people started to know me and Dust are going out, we couldn’t keep em from talking about it.”
“You guys are famous!”
“I don’t know about that. So what about you? How come Olivia said you should meet us?”
“Just. I dunno. I can’t go to GSA and I don’t have many friends. And you know how Olivia is.”
“Tell me about it! But what do you mean? Like about about GSA and friends?”
“Um, you probably don’t notice because you have so many friends, but I’m … I get picked on a lot. And I can’t go to GSA because my parents would freak out.”
“Are you sure they would? I thought my parents wouldn’t be cool, but …”
Mateo raised a hand to stop Josh. “I’m sure. Let’s just leave it at that, OK?”
“So, you’re gay too? We should hang sometimes.”
“No, I’m not gay.”
“Oh, well, OK, but …”
“I’m trans. I’m a girl. Or I wanna be. Or whatever. I’m Martina inside, not Mateo.”
“Oh, cool! We got trans kids in the GSA. You gotta come! I mean, you can still hang with me and Dust, for sure.”
“That is so nice of you, but I really can’t go to GSA. I wish I could.”
“Hey, are you crying? Please don’t. Everything’s gonna be OK. We’ll be your friends no matter what. Besides, I know Mr. Grant. I’ll fix things at GSA. You watch.”
“Absolutely not, Josh!” barked Mr. Grant in his most serious science teacher voice. “I’m really glad you’re sticking up for Martina. But if I forget to write her name down on the clipboard, I could lose my job. And she’d still not be able to come to GSA.”
“But you gotta! Look, she told me and Dust some stuff about her family. She’s in trouble. Bad trouble. I don’t know what to...”
“OK, buddy, I hear you. Is she in danger? Are people hitting her? Are they neglecting her, like not giving her enough food or not taking care of her? I’d be legally required to report if …”
“No, nothing like that. Like, her dad yells at her all the time for talking like a girl, and her mom found her makeup and threw it away and called her really disgusting names.”
“Oh, wow, I’m so sorry. I might be able to help, but we have to ask ourselves if reporting that as abuse would make things worse. What do you think?”
“I’m just super worried. She’s so sad all the time. Too sad! Like, she starts crying so easy. And I don’t know what to do. I just want her to have a place to be happy. Can’t you at least talk to her?”
“I can’t, Josh. Just like I couldn’t talk to you at the beginning of the year. When they passed that Don’t Say Gay Law last year, the principal told all us teachers we could get fired if parents complained we were talking to kids about gender or sexuality. That’s why I just sit and grade papers at GSA, buddy. I know it sucks, but I’m already doing everything I legally can.”
Josh stared up at his dolphins and rubbed tears out of his eyes. Dustin rolled over and sighed, then put his arms around Josh and held on tight. When they heard the knock on the door, they didn’t bother to pull apart.
“Come in,” said Josh, or he tried to, but a half sob broke his voice right in the middle.
His mom and dad walked in looking really serious. His dad bent down and kissed Josh’s forehead and ruffled Dustin’s hair. “Sit up, guys. I just called again and I’ve got news.”
Josh’s mom sat down on the bed and took Josh’s hand while his dad took a deep breath. “Mateo is out of surgery, and the doctors think he’s going to make it. But there may be brain damage.”
“Oh, wow! But it’s Martina, Dad, not Mateo.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Can we go see her?” asked Dustin. “Like right now!?”
“No, guys. That’s what I need to talk to you about. Mateo … um, Martina’s dad is really angry. He blames you guys for what she tried to do. He told me not to call again, and he told me he doesn’t want to see you guys around anymore. He sounded dangerous. I need you both to promise to stay away from that family until I say different.”
Josh couldn’t help it. He started to sob really loud.
Dustin grabbed him and rocked him, and then his mom grabbed them both and held them. “Don’t you ever believe you did anything wrong. Either of you! You hear me? You’ve been good friends to Martina. I wish certain adults had as much love in their hearts as you kids do. And as much sense!”
Dustin and Josh talked for a while alone after his mom and dad left the room, then Josh stood up. “I’ll be be right back.”
“What’s up?”
“Nothing. I just have to go tell Mom and Dad I’m sorry I called them unfair and yelled at them because they won’t let you sleep over.”
“I’m pretty sure they don’t care.”
“I know. But I gotta do it anyway.”
Dustin smiled as Josh slipped out of the room, then had a private talk with his boyfriend’s dolphins.
U.S. schools cannot legally prohibit GSA clubs if they sponsor any other extra-curricular clubs. However, schools that oppose GSAs have begun to require all clubs to report attendance to parents. This policy has survived legal scrutiny and has had a chilling effect on student participation.
LGBTQ youth are five times more likely to consider suicide than their cis/straight peers. According to Trevor Project, just one supportive adult in an LGBTQ teen’s life cuts that risk dramatically. Legal efforts around the country, like Florida’s proposed Don’t Say Gay law, will keep people like Mr. Grant from being that supportive adult.
Want to know more about Josh, Dustin, and Olivia? Each story is standalone, but you can read them in order if you want to:
This story is a response to the Prism & Pen writing prompt, Let’s Write About How Queer People Live Under Authoritarianism.
Other stories so far →
James Finn is a columnist for the LA Blade, a former Air Force intelligence analyst, an alumnus of Queer Nation and Act Up NY, and an “agented” but unpublished novelist. Send questions, comments, and story ideas to [email protected].
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