6 Things You (Really) Don’t Need to Feel Guilty About

Feeling guilty is a sign that you dwell in the past.

When you make a mistake, you have two options:

• Learning
• Not caring enough

Other than these, there’s no way you can escape a problem. Some people are good at learning, while others hide it under branded concealers of happiness.

Which one do you follow?

People who learn are survivors of the night. They know how to control their brain, mind, and urges. On the other hand, people who don’t care enough are somewhat imposters.

Psychology gives you a (secret) third option: counseling.

Not every bad thing you do is a “mistake.” Some actions are done when you’re younger.

Not everything is your responsibility. You shouldn’t feel wrong about everything. From relationships to partnerships, things happen in the way of learning.

Particularly, there are some habits we feel ashamed of when there’s no point. Below are 6 things to watch out for and never push yourself to feel bad about it:

1. Explaining your problem to a doctor

Psychology teaches us: listen more and respond less.

This trick is engraved in our brains.

However, we feel a slight twitch when we stop ourselves from intruding in between a conversation. We must break our listening habits when visiting a therapist or counselor.

• I know you suffer.
• It’s not limited to that.

Life wants us to remain strong. That’s why we can hardly talk about our problems to anyone without feeling guilty.

But you have to understand that everything is linked.

The universe has a continuous process. When you listen to someone’s problem, the universe will provide you with someone to listen to your concerns.

It’s an eye for an eye but (in a good way.)

Take the hint when the universe gives you a chance to speak your heart and unburden your soul’s deepest darkest secrets.

2. Keep your voice down

The old psychological trick: keep your voice up and fight for yourself.

The modern psychology technique: keep your voice down and remain sane.

The problem? We still don’t know which one is right.

Picture yourself:

“You’re a part of a fight where you see two people fighting. One is raising the voice, and one remains calm.”

Which one do you support? The answer comes from the bottom of my heart: the one with facts.

In short, keeping your voice down and voice up only helps when you fight with facts. There’s no reason you should keep your voice up without legitimate authenticity.

Quarrels happen every day. You might feel bad for not raising your voice as the opponent takes over you. But you win if you have facts and a reassuring voice.

The audience loves rational people.

Never feel sour for lowering your voice. Diplomats do that every time despite knowing the facts or not.

3. The wrong way of loving someone

Toxic love is hated.

I agree. But love is meant to be true. Here, I state some facts that will blow your mind:

• Our love for our parents follows a windmill of imperfection.
• Our passion for our siblings behaves in the same way.

At some point, we hated our siblings and parents when we were teenagers. Toxicity stems from that place.

You can leave a relationship because of toxicity, but can you change your parents and siblings?

Listen to me: bad is always with the good. You can highlight the bad or good side of your relationship with your parents and siblings. We all experiment with love.

We made our parents cry — not because we were wrong, but because we were in the testing phase.

Forgive yourself, your parents, and your siblings. Negatively loving someone is not bad. We suffer from unconditional love in the family because family and siblings come once in life, and they do not replace, unlike relationships.

Take the proper steps. Forgive yourself — it’s all that matters.

4. Rewind and fast-forward.

These apps have something in common:

• YouTube
• Netflix
• Spotify
• Apple Music
• [Insert one here}

These apps allow you to swing backward and forward. I know you feel bad most of the time when you rewind while watching a documentary, movie, or show.

Reason to feel bad: we’ve wasted 10 seconds of our lives.

Time runs fast. When we rewind backwards, we use our 20 seconds to do an unworthy task.

I am blameworthy of this, and I feel ashamed. I tell myself that what is skipped is skipped — I am not wasting another 10–15 seconds. Mostly because rewinding 10 seconds rewinds 13–15 seconds in total (courtesy of Netflix).

Rewinding wastes your time. To escape this hurting of my soul habit, I do this:

• Create a time limit: we are all humans, and it’s our sacred right to have fun. For that reason, create a timeslot to watch Netflix/YouYube. Allot a time, like 25mins to 30 mins. Don’t exceed.
• Don’t multitask: mostly, we miss an important detail when we’re thinking or doing something side by side. Nourish your focus.
• If you don’t enjoy it, turn it off: you don’t own shows/books or anything. If you don’t like them, switch them off.

Allow yourself to make the most of your time the way you like.

5. The hurriedness leaves behind a trail

It happens every day. We recommend a friend/family/colleague to make a decision, and it went wrong.

Does this happen to you? Since I am migrating to Canada, I recently bought 8 fall coats I don’t think I’ll ever wear. They were at a discount, so I bought them.

The courtesy? My friend who had never visited Canada recommended me. We all make wrong decisions, whether it’s our direct or indirect fault. Don’t feel bad about it.

Hurriedness does terrible things. With social media, every mistake is reversible.

In my defense: I’ll sell those coats for $20, and I’ll be good to go.

The problem occurs when you buy something costly. Refrain from making big-budget decisions, and never do that yourself. Stay away from expensive choices.

That’s what counselors are for. If it’s something about real estate, education, or immigration, take help from a suitable person. Don’t guide in the domain you’d not know. Or, if you want to, include this at the end of the sentence:

• “… but I believe you should check it out with a counselor.”
• “That was just an opinion.”

6. Not living to the fullest with our parents

The biggest regret of my life: I didn’t savor enough moments with my parents.

I was always a prodigy student. I jumped grades/classes, and my school promoted me to the next level. Mental maths was my favorite part-time hobby.

Did math help me with my parents? No!

Do you know why we feel wrong about not being enough with our parents? Because nobody told us that it was essential.

As children, they teach us algebra and maths in the name of education. When we grow up, they detach us and send us to college, away from our parents.

I believe first things first. School should teach us the value of parents. We’re soaked with homework that we miss potluck parties, vacations, and making memories.

In short, not being with your parents (like you could have) is not your fault.

Society conducts this way. The organization believes the love left in your heart, the desire for your parent’s love, and not living to the fullest make you strong.

Truth: it makes you weak.

We’re all in the same boat. It’s been like this for generations. Never feel guilty for not offering enough time to your parents. Do you know why? You can make up for that in these ways:

• Success: victory works two-fold. Allow your parents to live in a home you own, and you’ll compensate for unavailable years.
• Include: include your parents in most of the decisions. Take assistance and credit them.
• Attend: listen to what they say — they have little in their lives. Listening will allow you to understand what they like.

Final thoughts:

Being guilty for a second is okay. Then run to your normal state of health.

Improve your mistakes before it’s too late. Whatever you did wrong, you can make up for that.

But for that:

• Step 1: realize
• Step 2: act
• Step 3: rinse and repeat.

Take your time. Get up and take action.

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