avatarDrthefit | Ankita

Summary

The author reflects on personal growth lessons learned in their 20s, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, investment in personal development, gratitude, healthy relationships, and self-acceptance.

Abstract

The article "6 Lessons I Wish I Learned in My 20s" delves into the author's journey of self-discovery and the crucial life lessons they've gathered through experiences and extensive reading on self-improvement. The author advocates for the power of changing one's circumstances when feeling uncomfortable, the value of investing in oneself to foster emotional maturity and well-being, and the ability to find greatness in everyday life by adopting a mindset of gratitude. They also caution against overextending help to those who don't appreciate it, assert the superiority of solitude over toxic company, and stress the significance of self-competition over comparison with others. The author concludes by encouraging readers to define their own measures of success and to live a life filled with peace and love.

Opinions

  • The author believes that discomfort is a signal to reassess and change one's life situation, not a sign of being in the wrong.
  • Investing in oneself, whether through learning new skills, improving health, or seeking out enriching experiences, is seen as the most valuable use of one's time and resources.
  • Greatness and beauty are subjective and can be found in the eye of the beholder, suggesting a shift in focus from what's lacking to what's abundant in one's life.
  • It's futile and potentially harmful to try to help those who don't value your input, and it's better to lead by example and concentrate on personal growth.
  • The author posits that being alone is preferable to being surrounded by the wrong people, as it allows for self-reflection and dealing with personal issues.
  • The concept of "You vs. You" is presented as a fundamental struggle, where self-improvement and personal development are the ultimate goals, rather than competing with others.
  • The author emphasizes the importance of defining one's own version of success and creating a life that aligns with personal values of peace and love.

6 Lessons Wish I Learned in My 20s

And you can overcome these challenges with my learnings.

Photo by Johan Mouchet on Unsplash

You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”― Diane Von Furstenberg

When I started to write online and share my life journey especially around fitness, healthy lifestyle, and dating. Strangely while writing about me, I kind of discovered many new things about myself.

For example:

  • How I behave socially. I am an introvert btw.
  • About my habits — good and bad.
  • What are my triggers to do something.
  • And how emotional and sensitive I am.

In the last two years, I wish I’d learned some lessons earlier myself.

After reading hundreds of books on self love, living better and being happier and publishing around 100 articles on self-improvement, productivity, and dating, I still come across valuable lessons.

And I believe that’s one of the most beautiful things about our human experience: No matter how old you are or how much you’ve already experienced — life will always continue to bless you with new lessons. So let’s dive in.

1. If you are feeling uncomfortable with any situation or person, you have all the power to change it.

Have you been in situations where you know this is not a place for you in a relationship or the kind of work you are doing or just not happy the way things are in your life currently.

I have been there and thought maybe this is what it meant to be. Maybe I am not worthy to get “that” job or my relationship is not going forward because I am lacking effort.

And you just decide to live life with this feeling. Just because you’re feeling a little uncomfortable doesn’t mean you’re wrong.

If you anytime feel stuck, make a plan, write down everything where you want to be in the next 6 months and create an actionable plan for you.

It took me a while to get it right, but it was one of the best decisions of my life.

Three years later, I’m still proud of my choices, and feel content and happy.

In the end, you can’t be sure if you made the right decision without just giving it a try. And if you never try, you’ll never know.

2. Investing in yourself will turn you into a wholesome person.

It’s important how you choose to spend your time.

I used to be that person, I would work harder and harder from Monday to Tuesday and by the time Friday comes, I would feel like yes, I earned the well deserved break and spent the entire weekend parting, sleeping and binge watching Netflix. And the cycle continues for many years.

Slowly when I started feeling stuck, I felt there’s one way to invest your time, energy, and money that’ll always be worth it: An investment in yourself.

Invest in your mind by learning new skills. Change the things that you want to change, eliminate the toxic people, habits that no longer serve you well.

It was hard, like really hard to put boundaries where you don’t know how things are going to turn out in future.

But as I am thirties, I realized investing in yourself is important to cultivate emotional maturity. Sometimes I regret why I haven’t started a bit sooner and I could have avoided some of the challenging times in my life.

  • Invest in your health by taking more time to move your body and prepare nourishing meals.
  • Invest in yourself by spending more time around people who make your heart dance.
  • Invest in experiences you’re genuinely excited about.

3. Great things are where you want to see them.

You can see greatness in anything and everything.

There is a quote — “ beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.”

Focusing on the things that don’t go well in your life is significantly easier, yet, it also makes you feel miserable. Instead of constantly aiming for more, take a moment to think about all the blessings you’re already surrounded by.

Take a minute of your day and write down at least 3–5 things you’re genuinely grateful for. I do it almost every morning. First one is “ I am so grateful to wake up healthy and happy.”

This practice won’t magically change your life, but it’ll help you shift your mindset from lack to abundance.

4. Don’t get involved in other people’s work/life if they don’t value your input.

I always try to help other people and be kind and nice to everyone, even to strangers.

With time I am realizing that strangers are more receptive than the people you know. Trying to help someone who doesn’t even want and value your help is one of the worst feelings in the world — especially if you genuinely care about that person.

The truth is, you can’t change anyone but yourself.

Even if you believe you know what someone needs, you can’t force them to do (or avoid) anything if they’re not ready for it.

Instead of trying to help people who’re not open to your support, try leading by example and focus on yourself.

5. Being alone is better than being surrounded by the wrong people.

Most people fear spending time alone because that’s when they’re alone with their fears and insecurities.

But the harsh truth is, being alone is always better than being around the wrong people.

If you can’t sit still in silence and be alone with your thoughts for a while, it’s just a sign that you have unresolved issues bothering you. And there’s nothing wrong with that as long as you decide to take care of it and work on making peace with your past and yourself.

Just make sure you don’t end up making space for others just to escape your own company.

6. You vs You fight and it’s real.

You are your biggest enemy and you are the worst critic of yourself. No one can make you feel bad if you don’t allow them to do so.

The only person you’ll ever have to beat is yourself.

And the only person you should ever compare yourself to is your past self.

“It’s not about beating the other guy. It’s not about having more than the others. It’s about being what you are, and being as good as possible at it, without succumbing to all the things that draw you away from it. It’s about going where you set out to go. About accomplishing the most that you’re capable of in what you choose.” — Ryan Holiday

Lastly,

I personally don’t even have a driver’s license because I never needed it and it’s not my measurement of success.

I spend most of my time in sweatpants, check my emails three times per week, and have an empty calendar all of the time — apart from work meetings.

That’s my definition of a fulfilling and successful life.

Ask yourself what yours is and how you can create a life that’s covered in peace and love.

Be Bold

Be Courageous

Be Your Best

About My Book:

If you are looking to stay healthier, happier and successful everyday, grab my latest book here.

Read more here on my life journey:

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Life Lessons
Life
Self Improvement
Productivity
Psychology
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