4 Stages Men Go Through Before They Fall in Love
It takes more than a kiss for him to love you.
Sometimes we get hooked on the wrong guy. My friend Salma has been seeing this guy for two years now. When I see them, I feel pity for my friend.
This guy takes good care of her. He calls her more than four times a day. He has never laid a finger on her. He cooks, helps with her laundry, and supports her financially whenever he can. He makes her happy. He’s quite a gentleman if being respectful is all that counts.
But there was something odd in their relationship. There is no spark or a sign of attraction between them. So one day I mustered the courage to speak to my friend about her feeling for this guy.
It turns out that she is very much attracted to the guy, but he had made it clear that their relationship won’t go beyond casual.
“Say what?” I was shocked.
“So what are you still doing with him for these past two years. When you know all too well where the guy stands?” I asked her.
Her response was even more shocking. She told me she has fallen in love with him.
He was the only guy that has ever made her feel special. She hopes that he will change his mind and end up loving her back if she stayed with him.
What a bummer!
Men and Women’s emotions differ
Most women have been fooled into the idea that time changes a man’s feelings, and I have found that to be the opposite. Sure, he will develop a sense of attachment to you, but falling in love without that first spark is an illusion. Women can build on love over time, but it is an entirely different scenario for men.
When it comes to the early stages of dating, where we often feel like a whirlwind of emotions, romance, and crazy sex, men and women have very different experiences.
Women are more emotional and instinctively love more. Women can grow to love someone they were not initially attracted to once they get to know the person. For men, the reverse is the case.
Men need the initial attraction before they can be open to meet the person they will eventually fall in love with.
So how do men fall in love? What really goes on in a man’s mind? Let’s look at the four stages men go through before falling in love with the right girl.
Stage 1: Infatuation
Men go for the look first before anything else. The appearance of their potential partner is a bigger indicator of overall attractiveness. Men are initially attracted to women based on a physical connection and later come to love the person.
While women may fall in love on the first conversation, men are only attracted to a woman because of her physical qualities and nothing else.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be the complete package. Every man has his own preferences for what he likes in a woman, be it her face, her legs, her smile, or even the way she runs her hands through her hair.
They try to steal a second look or grab a girl’s attention all the time. A man may appreciate many women, but he does not fall in love with all of them in reality. If he appreciates a woman and is interested in courting or pursuing her, he enters the infatuation stage with her.
A man can chase a woman in different ways, but he usually forgets the girl if she doesn’t accept his advances.
It’s easier for a man to love a girl one day and forget that he ever liked her because he has so many stages to deal with before making the decision to fall in love.
Stage 2: Attraction
When the girl responds to the man’s advances, he enters the attraction phase of love. Up to this stage, a man can walk away from a girl without pain or distress, even if the girl rejects him. He really doesn’t try too hard because he hasn’t fallen in love.
But if a girl shows the slightest sign of reciprocity or interest in the man, or even if he assumes that she is in love with him, the man delves into this stage, the attraction stage. At this stage, he decides to chase the girl and make him like her.
Understanding how men fall in love is tricky, but frankly, he’s far from in love right now. Even at this stage, all he wants is the girl to respond to him.
He’ll show mating potential. He plans dates and gives gifts to please the girl. He certainly isn’t in love, but he does want something good to come out of this stage of impressions.
Stage 3: Declaration
If he can convince the girl and make her fall in love with him, he is a happy man. He likes where the dating game goes.
But until now, in his quest to get the girl to like him, he hasn’t bothered if he really likes the girl and if he really wants to date her. Until this stage of love, one goal he was focused on was the girl liking him.
Once the girl has shown she has an interest in him, only then does the man begin to seriously think about whether he wants a relationship with the girl who finds him attractive.
Men are more likely to express their love through affection, engaging in fun activities with their partner, and, of course, sex. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to avoid negative interactions and show affection in other ways.
Do not be alarmed if you hear him say “I wanted to tell you…” or “I have something to talk to you about”, it is completely normal.
Men often take much longer to express themselves verbally and emotionally with their partner and will often wait until they feel very secure in the relationship.
Stage 4: Falling in love
If a man is convinced that he likes the girl a lot and wants to be with her, he enters this last stage of love where he is willing to fall in love with the girl.
On the other hand, if he is not really convinced that the girl is the right match for him, he may start to avoid her or lose interest in pleasing her. Although the same goes for a woman who don’t find the man interesting.
When a man is in love, he feels more comfortable expressing his true sexual desires without thinking that he will be judged, embarrassed, or mocked by them.
It is no secret that men and women need sex. But physical intimacy encompasses much more than just sex, including kissing, hugging, and teasing. Men need women who make them feel sexually open and who are not afraid to be intimate or have fun.
If you notice that your man is acting authentic, like his real self, it is a great sign that he is falling in love with you.
When you’re getting to know someone, it can be tempting to hide who you really are, even if it’s not in a manipulative way. If he’s slowly putting that aside and showing you and his real emotions, it’s a very good sign that he has fallen in love with you.
