Autistics Are Not Puzzle Pieces
Because further explanation was required
Back in April my article, Autistic Appreciation, was shared on a popular advocacy page, one that I really like. It’s run by neurodiverse and disabled people for neurodiverse and disabled people.
The article was initially shared using one of the images which was embedded further down. It was surrounded by extensive context and well-researched explanations for why I feel this way. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t read these days.
Some people saw the image and immediately began complaining that I was “shaming” parents of autistic children and autistics who choose to identify with the puzzle piece.
When I say “we are not puzzle pieces”, I am not saying “Hey, fellow Autistics! You’re wrong if you use the puzzle piece!” My previous article explained how this symbol is associated with organizations that speak for and over autistic people and don’t listen to us.
I explained the history of the symbol and why it’s problematic. The article is not aimed at individuals, it’s aimed at particular charities that claim to support and care for autistics, but refuse to listen to us or give us a meaningful voice in their work.
Instead, these groups perpetuate misinformation and continue to promote harmful therapies.
Those who didn’t like my above image (and clearly hadn’t read the actual article) said I was focusing on “surface level” issues and creating division within the autistic community.
Really? Eugenics is a surface level issue, is it?
Self-advocacy is not simply arguing
When I tried to respectfully engage with any of the dissenters to explain the actual meaning behind my article, I was told I was “arguing with parents” and that families have enough to “deal with” without being shamed.
Ah, there it is. The neurotypical “autism moms” speaking for the autistic community again (for more about the history and controversy surrounding autism moms, I recommend Jesse Meadows’ piece).
Listen: If you’re a neurotypical parent of an autistic child, absolutely you are an important part of our community — however, neurotypicals should not speak for autistics, just as any person should not speak for a group which which they do not personally identify.
There are many autistics who are more than willing to educate neurotypical (NT) parents, who will share their experiences and provide insight. We really don’t need neurotypical parents speaking for us, and most of the time this does more harm than good.
If you’re not personally of a particular identity, you simply cannot understand their lived experiences. You should certainly try, but that means listening and learning, not arguing with people from that community because your child, cousin, or neighbour happens to be autistic.
To be clear, the autistic community is not homogenous, nor is any group of people who share an identity. Some autistics do like the puzzle piece and feel it represents their experiences. Fine and dandy, you do you.
Join us!
My issue isn’t with individuals, it’s with particular agencies and organizations. They’re the ones with a millions of dollars in revenue, giving them the financial power to either help or continue to harm those they claim to support.
My issue isn’t with the families who are just doing the best they can with the information and resources they have, who need support and understanding.
In fact, NTs parents of autistic children, you should be outraged alongside us. You should lift up our voices and support us in our desire to liberate autistic children from being treated as less-than and subjected to harmful therapies.
If you listen to autistic people and learn from their lived experiences and first-hand knowledge, you’ll be better equipped to understand your child’s experiences and to advocate for them in a neurodiversity-affirming way.
© Jillian Enright, Neurodiversity MB
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