Self Reflection

What Happens When a Little Part of Your Soul Stays Behind?

Sometimes a piece of us stays with our stories

We all leave little parts of ourselves intertwined and tangled in our writing. We use our best words in the moment and sometimes leave behind little pieces of ourselves when we do.

This doesn’t happen every time; perhaps only on rare occasion. But when it happens, I believe that we are forever tied back to that particular piece.

As I close in on my 100th story here on Medium, it feels like a good time to go back and reminisce a little about the places where I left a little bit of my soul behind in my story.

Three of my stories come to mind as works where some of my soul dripped out onto the page, swirled into the letters and margins and remained behind even after I published the story and let the world peer inside.

The first place this happened was coincidentally my first story on Medium. Prior to putting that story on paper, I had toyed with the idea of writing and putting it out to the world-at-large, but I had been too intimidated to do so.

One day the idea and title of this story just flooded my brain and I knew that I had to put it on paper. It just sort of spilled out, and with it a little piece of me as well. The topic was compassion in medicine and why that is the only skill that really matters.

As a firefighter I am constantly asked about my “best” stories about 9–1–1 calls. When they ask, people are asking for sensational tales that delight. I oblige; but those aren’t the best calls I went to. The best ones were where I got to connect with another person on a human level.

There is rarely anything flashy about those moments, and they don’t always make for entertaining public stories. But I decided to share one of those moments that was incredibly special to me; my “best” alarm. Here is that story:

This story will always have a connection for me. Not because it was my first story on paper, but because I shared something intimate and personal, which I had never shared with anyone before.

The second story where a little chunk of my soul broke off, bounced a few times, and wedged between the letters on the page is where I talked about leaving my career and one-time dream job.

I talked about how sometimes your dream job can be so good that you can’t actually leave, even after it is clearly time to do so. I felt like I was fortunate to be able to walk away from my dream job before it became a complete nightmare, and I wrote about that here:

I think this piece was so personal to me because it represented such a dramatic change in my life and lifestyle. When you are a firefighter it tends to become part of you as a person. This story acknowledged my transition from that person to the one I am today.

The third piece in which little droplets of my soul oozed out, dripped onto the page and swirled around between the lines and letters was when I told about a former boss that bad talked me, causing me to not be hired at a new job.

The reason pieces of me lingered behind ensnared in this story was because I was so raw from the event. It was a final unexpected stomach-churning plunge on a year-long job search roller coaster. It was also the sentinel event that convinced my wife and I that I would probably never return to the traditional career-minded workforce. Things like tropical beach-front bartender are still on the table, but 9 to 5 is not.

After essentially being told that I had the job and spending several hours talking with my new boss making plans about projects, I learned that my former boss used some informal back channels to dish some falsely manufactured dirt. I wrote about that here:

Ironically, if that hadn’t happened, it is likely that I wouldn’t be writing on Medium today. Well, definitely not as much for sure.

So, why are these articles noteworthy? What does it mean or even matter if we leave pieces of ourselves behind in stories?

My personal opinion is that it is a necessary function of moving forward for us to be able to name our most significant and pressing concerns, and then release them to the universe. Perhaps someone that is more deeply spiritual than I would have a specific term for this like unblocking your chakras or releasing your demons.

I think leaving a little piece of my soul in these stories is my way of acknowledging that they were important events and pieces of me, but they don’t necessarily define who I am now or who I will become.

I hope you will enjoy reading the stories where a little bit of me will forever reside. I greatly enjoyed revisiting them today as I wrote this.

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Timothy Key spent over 26 years in the fire service as a firefighter/paramedic and various fire chief management roles. He firmly believes that bad managers destroy more than companies, and good managers create a passion that is contagious. Compassion, grace and gratitude drive the world; or at least they should. Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and join the mail list.