I Walked Away from the Best Job in the World, and I Have Never Been Happier

Shedding the Golden Handcuffs on your own terms

Your dream job is out there somewhere; perhaps you are working there right now. You can’t imagine ever doing anything else, it is so fulfilling, it feeds your soul; and extra bonus — they pay you well too.

Firefighter was that job for me. If you are inclined to the profession it is truly the best job in the world. You will say that statement out loud to others; especially when you first begin your career. And it will be true. At that point at least.

Hopefully you will have that same experience in your professional role if you are not there currently. And hopefully that role will extend across a few decades as it has for me. But the luster on even the best of jobs begins to fade over time if you don’t take some steps to keep it fresh. Even then, time has a way of changing things.

When I first hired on with my fire department, I couldn’t fathom why anyone would ever leave. We literally had the opportunity to save lives on occasion, and even when the situation wasn’t quite that critical, we still had the privilege of helping people in their time of need. As my good friend and colleague often said, “We are problem solving do-gooders”. What is there not to like?

Even so, people retired on a regular basis, and I noticed that most all of them were angry and bitter when they left. I wondered why.

In addition to being do-gooders, we got to be ‘bad’ as well, and without reprisal. We got to speed and drive through red lights and stop signs (cautiously of course, with a risk management weighted decision process — but still)! And we got to break things like windows and doors and use chain saws to cut up roofs and make holes in walls! There was something for everyone in this job; I imagine your dream job has components like this as well.

But still, people left. Many irate when they did. I also noticed some of the more tenured didn’t leave when perhaps they should. Even when they harbored the slow-burning anger that seemed to motivate their peers into departing. That would never be me, would it?

In addition to the clear draw to the profession of firefighting that entices many people to volunteer (according to the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA) there are nearly twice as many volunteer firefighters in the United States than paid career employees), I had the good fortune to be paid for my endeavors. And paid very well.

Not only that, we worked 24-hour shifts so time at work was concentrated, which allows for large blocks of time off. My department happened to have one of the lowest average hourly work weeks in the region, so we had it better than most, working about 7.5 days per month. While your dream job may not have the same perks of time off, decent pay and a pension, it likely has something equally tangible in terms of benefits. Perhaps it is a high salary, stock options, on-site day care, free meals etc.

And yet, even with the good paycheck and so much time off, many of my co-workers with the most years on the job managed to show up bitter and jaded on those 7 or 8 days each month. What causes this?

There are several obvious culprits to first responder burnout, short tempers and mental stress. Traumatic stress is very, very real. Being invited into peoples’ worst moments over and over again has an insidious and cumulative effect on responders; and everyone experiences and reacts to these stressors differently. Compassion fatigue is a contributor to burnout as well.

But while those are material and devastating concerns, they aren’t the real issue. The real issue is that first responders can’t just walk away from the profession, or even from the particular organization they work for. It isn’t that simple.

And in many ways, it is likely you can’t just walk away from your dream job either.

In my fire department we called it the Golden Handcuffs. The term refers to the combination of such a high entry barrier to integrate into the profession paired with good pay and benefits. These in concert make changing professions, or even just moving to a different fire department or a different type of emergency response role exceedingly difficult, if not impossible for many.

It isn’t as much the negative parts of the job that are impacting first responders as much as it is the inability to step away that breeds resentment, anger and depression.

Perhaps you want to consider a different profession, but where are you going to find that kind of time off? The handcuffs go around the wrist and to the first notch, click. Where are you going to find a job that pays as well with only a high school diploma? Click. Who has a defined benefit pension anymore? Click. Where can you possibly find another job that offers so many of the things you love? Click.

Chances are that if you are in a dream job type of role there are golden handcuffs for you as well. Great salary. Click. Flexible hours. Click. Job where you can chase your passion; click, click.

I truly loved my job, but I couldn’t work there anymore. For a variety of reasons particular to me, but very tangible and real.

Unwittingly I began to set the stage for my departure about 4 years before I stepped away. In my mind there are two essential components that must be in place to facilitate a departure from a job that has you locked in golden handcuffs.

The first component is a minimum of financial security. As life would have it, both of my kids grew up and moved out. Not as a plan for leaving my job, but rather just as what I thought was prudent future planning, I began to put away a large chunk of my salary into my 457 plan (the public sector equivalent to the 401k), maxing it out. I also began to max out my Roth IRA contribution and putting any residual into a regular after-tax investment account.

This had a two-fold benefit of increasing my reserves while allowing me to adjust to a lower income of what was left over after aggressive saving.

The second component that allowed me to loosen the handcuffs was self-development. After a promotion into management in the fire department I realized I was severely under-educated for a leadership and management role. In order to rectify that situation, I pursued a bachelor’s degree and, on the way, discovered that I have a passion for business studies, I am fascinated by organizational leadership theories, and maybe most importantly, I could express myself through writing.

Eventually it happened. That perfect storm of events that made me consider whether it was time for me to leave. I imagine (while this was personal to me) it was just like the particular collection of happenings that had planted the seeds of resentment and bitterness in my tenured co-workers over the years.

Except for me it was different. Purely by coincidence I had assembled the components necessary to ease the pinch of my dream-job handcuffs. That allowed me to slip from their grasp and walk away tall.

I know in my heart that if I hadn’t left when I did, I would be a very bitter and unhappy person today, merely one year later.

I share this story with you so that you can purposefully undertake the measures to keep those restraints of your perfect job from becoming too tight.

Keep the financial aspects of your job in perspective. Spend little, save a lot. Don’t allow a comfortable salary to lure you into financial complacency. For my public sector associates, don’t rely on your pension as your only financial parachute. Don’t let money be the only reason you stay at a job that you started for other aims.

Second, broaden your interests, hobbies and education. It is easy to get pulled into a job as a main function of your life — especially when it is a job you love. Look for other interests. Chase peripheral passions. Read a lot, especially about topics outside your profession.

There isn’t a magical skeleton key to the handcuffs of gold that might come attached to your dream job. But there are ways to keep the restraints loose and your mind open.

The best time to plan your exit strategy from your dream job is the day you start. The second-best time is today.

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Timothy Key spent over 26 years in the fire service as a firefighter/paramedic and various fire chief management roles. Now moving forward to writing and consulting. For more articles like this, join the mail list.