What do You Think of Ko-fi, The Online Tipping Jar?
How to put to bed the shame factor of asking for money
The nature of tips
Tipping is a nice thing to do but not a required thing to do.
How do you feel about a really good musician on the street with their tipping hat placed before them?
Is it begging or busking?
How do you feel about a waitress handing you a check with the blank after the word “tip” for you to fill out?
Dinner Bill: A billion dollars🤣
Tip?_______🙏you fill in the blank
NOTE: Always tip the waitress at least 10%. 15 % is usually suggested on the bill of some restaurants. That’s because depending on where you live waitresses only make $6.28 an hour. They make all their money with tips.
What is Ko-fi?
Ko-fi is an online tipping jar for writers to earn money for their writing. The suggested tip is $3, just enough to buy a coffee at your local coffee shop. Lately, I have been seeing ko-fi’s popping up all over the place for writers.
This is because some writers make literally a couple of cents for their writing.
One of my personal favorite pieces made only $1.98
Unfortunately for some writers, asking for money is a bed of shame. It’s laid out before you like your meal on a platter. This is because the context of tipping on medium is not like the waitress in a restaurant or a stripper on a pole or a musician doing what she loves on the street. It’s suggesting a tip for your writing and to me, I ask myself:
What’s the difference?
Whether you’re a waitress, stripper, or musician:
Good service, good tip
Tipping a writer is a nice thing to do but not a required thing to do.
How to put to bed the shame factor of asking for money
Guilt, shame and money don’t mix.
It’s like oil and water.
Solution:
The only way to get over that is to take that emotion out of it altogether.
Negative emotions attached to money will mess you up. I grew up rich and felt guilty for having nice things so I rejected money as an adult. I am still working on my limiting belief and it’s working.
The way I do it is not to take that eeky anxious feeling to heart. It pops up and I accept it’s there but I don’t let my anxiety, shame or guilt drive my mental car anymore. I make it a passenger in the back seat.
If you are ashamed to ask for money it’s probably because you may be raised to not ask for money. This is an honorable trait but it can be financially crippling.
I personally squirm when I have to talk about being paid in general. It’s a natural reflex of being raised not to ask anyone for money too and that’s why I feel weird about sharing go fund me’s as well:
Question your logic
Emotions are overrated sometimes. Just because I feel angry, anxious or depressed doesn’t mean my reasoning is accurate. My perceptions can be totally off the mark and filled with assumptions.
Solution:
Question yourself positively. I have gotten into the habit of questioning why I feel the way I feel and sometimes my logic is totally ridiculous.🤣
Strings attached syndrome
For others, fear of strings attached can prevent someone from asking for what they deserve. They would rather not ask than to feel obligated to do something in return.
Solution:
Be authentic, don’t give to receive and don’t receive just to get back.
This concept does not only apply to just money, it could be anything.
I can’t stand people who are insincere. I can feel their yucky energy. They are the type of people that leave the price tag on gifts. Yuck!
They are the type of people that give compliments just to receive them. Yuck!
They are the type of people that follow you just so you can follow them back. Yuck!
Be the best person you can be and give blindly to people who deserve it.
BUT
Keep that shit in check.
Don’t be a doormat
Self-worth has a lot to do with asking for money. If you feel unworthy to receive, you will sabotage your payday in some way. Either you won’t make what you deserve or you will give more than you have to.
For this, I have two solutions:
1. Set boundaries when people see you as some sort of giving tree.
The right to say “no” is like the guardian angel that protects you.
2. Be your best self as much as possible and allow people to acknowledge your best self too.
That doesn’t mean that you have to be perfect. Just be the best that you can be at that particular moment. I believe that if you set an intention to be your best by being of value, your confidence will raise with your resolve to ask for what you deserve.
I don’t see the point of ignoring an income stream but I still have mixed feelings about Ko-fi.
On one hand I rather people read my stuff and I read theirs as I do in my Facebook writer groups. If they read my pieces all the way through, I can make a few cents. But on the other hand, it’s only a couple of cents. Ko-fi suggestion is $3.
That adds up like that dollar store. You go into the store with the intent to buy something for only $1, and then next thing you know, you come out with $10 worth of things — it adds up.
In the same way, $3 can end up not only for coffee but the gas in my car to get to the coffee shop. If someone likes my writing, it’s a nice way to show appreciation from people around the world.
I’m in the process of setting up a Ko-fi account but I’ll try to be low-key about it when I do because I don’t want my readers to feel obligated to tip me. Being on the receiving end of an obligated stranger feels gross to me. Give because you want to and can afford to.
“Please note I’m not attempting to solicit direct funds — though tips are always appreciated”. — Graham Cooke
The fact that you read this far is enough for me. You can also tip me through my Paypal but you don’t have to.
Think about buying me a Ko-fi the next time I inspire you.
What do You Think of Ko-fi, The Online Tipping Jar?
Update: Here’s Graham Cooke’s story about how to set up your ko-fi
“Please note I’m not attempting to solicit direct funds — though tips are always appreciated”. — Graham Cooke
I learned how to post a clickable button-through Graham's story:
I got my first ko-fi…yay!
Thank You for your Support!
