What A “Perfect” Relationship Looks Like
A revealing look at the picture of a perfect relationship from 4 different angles.
“Perfect” here simply means a healthy, stable relationship that is just right for you. One in which the right ingredients are present and you are satisfied with how the relationship is going.
Now, as we are all different individuals, we naturally have different ideas of what perfection is, when it comes to relationships. Though good relationships must be healthy, stable, and happy, for them to be considered as approaching anything resembling a picture of perfection they must hold up to scrutiny when looked at from the following angles:
- Individuality Yes, you are a couple but you were individuals first. If what you have is a relationship of two secure individuals who continue to flourish while strengthening and complementing one another, and your unique identities are accepted and understood, then you are perfect for each other.
- Compatability Similarities play a vital role here. They ensure that your relationship is healthy and sustainable for the long term. If your relationship needs are aligned and relationship wants are fully negotiated and accommodated, compatibility is a given and you are perfect for each other. Happily, even partners that appear opposites can enjoy a “perfect” relationship if they have overlapping (similar) interests in the area of their common needs. A lack of shared needs is usually a potential relationship dealbreaker so the overlap helps ensure compatibility. Differences in the area of wants, on the other hand, are not necessarily fatal and can actually be healthy for their relationship because it allows partners to maintain an individual sense of self.
- Fulfillment “Fulfilling”, is one word that always readily rolls off the tongue when describing an ideal relationship. One sure way a relationship is fulfilling is when it involves partners who not only recognize each other’s physical and emotional needs but are ready to meet those needs in satisfying ways the best they can. For instance, a partner should readily be available to meet the other’s need for intimacy (which doesn’t necessarily mean sex) by physically connecting through acts that they are comfortable with and within established healthy boundaries. Fulfilling emotional needs also requires partners to be emotionally present and responsive to each other. These acts are what keep relationships moving perfectly.
- Security The ideal relationships are one in which the partners feel safe. The security comes with partners’ feelings of mutual trust and respect, confidence in themselves and each other, feeling valued and knowing their other is someone they can always count on. Ideally, partners should be free to be themselves and feel comfortable talking about all issues, from the mundane to the serious. they should be comfortable enough to share even divergent views or perspectives. The undesirable state is, of course, the one plagued by insecurities that result from different a variety of factors, like after an act of betrayal, being repeatedly let down by the other, or even the hurt from a previous relationship. Whatever the case, if feelings of insecurity are present they need to be addressed otherwise they can wreak real havoc.
“What ruins relationships and causes most fights is insecurity” -Olivia Wilde
Takeaways
- The picture of what amounts to a perfect relationship will vary from couple to couple because of the different individuals (and their needs) involved but they can.
- To accommodate and negotiate those differences effectively, partners have to adapt in healthy ways.
- Though similarities play a vital role in long-term compatibility, partners can find room to remain and grow as individuals, and their areas of differences are fully negotiated and accommodated.
- The sense of fulfillment comes from partners recognizing each other’s needs and meeting them in satisfying ways the best ways they can.
- The perfect relationship is one where the partners feel secure and comfortable and their physical and emotional needs find favorable responses.
“You’re not looking for perfection in your partner. perfection is all about the ego. With soulmate love, you know that true love is what happens when disappointment sets in- and you are willing to maturely deal with this disappointments.” Karen Salamansohn
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