Relationships Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Healthy, Happy & Satisfying

When 2 different individuals come together there are bound to be areas of friction to smooth over before it all comes together.

You know, perfect like in the movies. Where the instant your eyes lock you telepathically know all there is to know about each other. At that moment you decide that you are just perfect for each other and, of course, your lives melt into one of perpetual romantic infatuation.

Real-life? Not exactly. It’s a rare couple that doesn't experience any ups and downs. For the rest of romantic relationships, they will go through different phases, from the euphoric to the level-headed, genuine love phase.

Relationship imperfections

This is to be expected because remember, we are talking about the coming together of two different individuals with most likely some fundamental differences in their personalities or lifestyles. The possibility of at least a little friction cannot be ruled out.

Some problems can be solved once and for all. Due to those fundamental differences in personalities and lifestyles, some will keep cropping up from time to time. These are what the Gottman Institute refers to as “perpetual problems”. They are the type of problems that can polarize a couple when not handled properly.

“69% of relationship conflict is about perpetual problems. All couples have them.” -Michael Fulwiler

Making it work

However, the right individuals can always make it work. Once the desire to keep the relationship going is present, then open, honest communication will reveal the underlying issues that usually fuel perpetual problems. These need to be addressed.

And you can only get to them with the right approach. For instance, when you are having what seems to be the same argument for the thirteenth time, try to keep your frustration in check. In other words, remain calm, refrain from hurtful comments and gear your mind to actually resolving the issues by getting to the underlying issues instead of just trying to win the argument like you tried to do the last time.

The right stuff

Relationships don’t have to be a perfect blend of two individuals to be happy, healthy, and satisfying you just need the right ingredients to make it great:

• ​Understanding and acceptance;
• Love, trust, and respect;
• Open and honest communication;
• Compromise;
• Cooperation
• Humor

“Good marriages and relationships are not a random game of luck and chance, but rather a piece of art crafted beautifully together with effort, care, sexuality, friendship, spirituality, and growth.” -Dr. Rachel Glik

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