7 Reliable Indicators You Shouldn’t End It Just Yet

Prematurely ending a relationship denies you the chance of knowing if it was destined for the more enduring phase of genuine, real-world love.

You had a heated argument and really hurtful things were said. Words that you believe people who truly love each other should never utter and, understandably, there are now feelings of anger and resentment.

Perhaps it’s because the spark has begun to fizzle. The euphoric head over heels stage of the relationship has predictably passed and the new stage is giving you doubts.

Or has something else happened that is making you rethink your choices?

“Words that you believe people who truly love each other should never utter…”

2 things to note about relationship lifespan

• Some relationships are not built to last. In fact, some need to end for the wellbeing of the parties or their loved ones. That’s just the way it is.
• Others, unfortunately, break up prematurely, and sadly over things that don’t necessarily mean what the partners thought they mean.

In seemingly bleak situations it is only natural to have questions but before you make any final pronouncements you should consider the following.

1. The honeymoon stage doesn't last forever in any relationship

For everyone that euphoric, head over heels phase is just that, a phase. It lasts anything from a few weeks to a few years. It’s the intense focus on just this stage that causes premature relationship death.

The end of this phase is not necessarily the end. If anything it’s the time to make clear-headed assessments of your relationship goals and vision because this is the time you can actually see more clearly.

As long as there are other things like acceptance, understanding, mutual respect, feelings of security with each other it’s not the time to quit. It’s time to look at what's behind door no. 2

“However, now that the (honeymoon) stage has passed and we are back down to earth, I realize other factors hold us together and the bond is still geting stronger” -“Love” Expires In All Relationships

2. You still care about each other’s feelings

A huge indicator of the presence of true love is when couples still care about the feelings of each other. This means there is still empathy in that relationship and empathy is at the heart of enduring relationships.

It’s said, the opposite of love is not, hate but indifference, so if you still care how your partner feels then there is still love on the horizon.

“This means there is still empathy in that relationship and empathy is at the heart of enduring relationships.”

3. You’re still honest with each other

You can have your ups and downs but as long as you have a foundation of being truthful to each other there’s a chance.

Even in cases where there has been a great betrayal like infidelity, honesty makes rebuilding possible. Partners can seek to return to a place where the relationship is just as strong as it used to be, or stronger.

Any relationship where honesty still abides has potential.

“If you have a history of honesty, and you feel you’ve been able to trust one another in the past, one indiscretion doesn’t change that.” (Tammy Nelson, PhD., Relationship therapist)

4. You Can Still Laugh Together

39 studies, 15,000 participants, and over 30 years of research indicate, couples sharing a sense of humor signals they can go the distance. There is always something reassuring when a couple can create humor together.

Marriage Counselor and clinical psychologist, Randi Gunther tells us that in her experience even at the point where a couple is sitting in therapy, breathing fire, daggers are drawn and one of them mentions a previous shared experience and they both start to laugh, that laughter tells her there’s hope for the relationship.

“Even if the fight resumes, it is evident that what they are talking about is not all of who they are and I know I can get them down under their self-destructive interactions.” She adds.

“39 studies, 15,000 participants, and over 30 years of research indicate, couples sharing a sense of humor signals they can go the distance.”

5. You still remember the good things that attracted you to each other

Partners that can still remember the connection can still tap into it and reignite some of the feelings of that blissful beginning to keep the relationship going in the present. In other words, if you still have fond memories of the past, it’s a good sign there can still be a future.

“Finding the good in the bad, the moments we shared can bring us back to the surface, and the good times carrying us through the day.” ― Sherdley S.

6. You both are able to see the bigger picture: past, present, and future

It can happen that something comes along and throws your whole rhythm outta-whack, but if you both can still focus on the bigger picture, you can get back in step.

When you share the same vision for your relationship hopefully you will be able to muster the will to stay the course and surmount the obstacles. You will make conscious choices and take deliberate actions to confine unfortunate mistakes to the past, and work in the present for the future you hope to see.

“Our eyes are in the front because it’s better to see where you’re going rather than where you’ve been”

7. Forgiveness is still on the table

“The most enduring relationships are made up of forgivers.”

Forgiveness means you make a conscious choice to let go of negative feelings against people that have hurt you regardless of whether they deserve it, or even asked for it.

It indicates that no matter the violation, or how deep the hurt goes if the capacity to move past the wrong exists, the possibility of mending and rebuilding a long-lasting, happy relationship also exists.

“Without forgiveness and love, you will live with resentment, bitterness, malice and strife which result in more pain. You can never love without forgiving. Forgiveness deepens your ability to love and frees you from pain.”