The 2 Vital First Steps to Your “Perfect” Relationship

Real deals aren’t always easy but they are always worth it.

From childhood, we have been led to believe the idea that perfection is attainable, and not surprisingly this belief has also filtered into our views of relations: the perfect mate, the perfect relationship, etc. I personally blame many, many misleading love songs and Hollywood movies a lot for this.

I blame those fantastic love stories that only emphasize the euphoric love phase of romantic relationships, all the while firmly planting in our minds the fantasy that this phase is all there is in romantic relationships.

In real life, however, there can be several reasons why the fantasy has to give way to reality and some of these reasons include:

• we can have different needs;
• as we grow through the various phases of our lives some of those needs will change;
• the transient nature of hot romance which, naturally, doesn’t stay burning hot for too long;
• perfection in this sense also means different things for different people; and
• we are imperfect beings ourselves.

I personally blame many, many misleading love songs and Hollywood movies a lot for this.

All is not lost: 2 vital first steps

The good news is the perfect relationship for you is within your reach only that you have to take the necessary steps to realize it and keep it because it will not magically materialize and endure despite the persistent myths about relationships.

Step 1

The first step, of course, is letting go of the fantasy that somewhere out there is a relationship that is all sunshine and rainbows just waiting to happen to you. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship in this sense. How can there be when we are all imperfect mere mortals ourselves?

Now, I know it can be hard letting go of that unrealistic idea of what a romantic relationship should look like. Especially when we have long been sold on the fantasy, but let of it we must!

Real-world relationships can be healthy, loving, functional, comfortable, and deeply satisfying but it is the fantasy that gets in the way of our fully appreciating them when they present themselves.

“Let’s face it the kind of relationships you need in your 20s probably wouldn’t work in your 40s.”

Step 2

Next, you have to learn to adapt. This is absolutely necessary because as we know, changes occur through the different phases of our lives and our needs also change. Let’s face it the kind of relationships you need in your 20s probably wouldn’t work in your 40s. However, by being able to adapt we are able to accommodate those changes and grow.

“Being flexible means you’re more likely to make it through those challenges as a couple and bounce back to a balanced state while being rigid during trying times makes your relationship more susceptible to irreparable damage. Simply put, a healthy level of adaptability lends itself to a more resilient relationship.” -Source

This adaptability (flexibility) to our ever-changing relationship landscape helps ensure that as our relationships pass through the different inevitable phases, we work to keep the foundations solid and we are also able to negotiate the changes.

“One thing healthy relationships largely share is adaptability. They adapt to circumstances and the fact we’re always changing and going through different phases in life.” — Lindsey Antin M.A.

Conclusion

We can enjoy perfectly healthy, stable, fulfilling, long-term relationships if we attune ourselves to the realities of real-life relationships. As individuals who go through changes during the course of our lives, our needs and wants will also change, but if we are able to adapt so as to accommodate and negotiate those changes effectively in our relationship then what we have may very well be described as “perfect”.

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