Two Steps to Never Feel like You are Less than Others
Even if you are new to the [fill in the blank]
The mental state
First thing is getting into a mindset of confidence, not comfort, though (comfort has nothing to do with anything aside from feeling good, like someone living off of their parents). It doesn’t matter about your personality. It doesn’t matter about anything superficial.
This looks different for each person. For me it has progressed in what it looks like. In the beginning of me stepping out it was just me getting over the fear of speaking — really doesn’t matter if someone calls me out to speak, that still works. With every little thing I learn, it takes a slightly different approach for my mind to speak up. Now the first step, as a more developed man, is to understand I have an obligation and responsibility to speak up.
For me, not speaking up started in 2nd grade when I first realized I was different, in that I having a speech impediment meant I was different. In the next decade I would learn my voice was not needed and people can live without it.
I can’t live my motto if I live in fear. My motto is: love, lead, and learn, so others can be happy and healthy in mind, body, and spirit.
This can be finding a motivation, therapy, or even attending a public speaking class. Whatever gets you to dive in the deep of a battle. This is not about skills, yet, just the confidence.
Some can call this first step having a faith. If someone has a faith, they put that above fear.
Initiative
The second step is to find/have initiative. To have a reason to respond when you can and when it is necessary. As the dictionary defines: the ability to assess and initiate things independently; and: the power or opportunity to act or take charge before others do.
This goes right back to not needing to feel something before you speak. Once you have initiative, you develop a purposeful-living or a incentive-based response. It becomes more natural. This is where skills are developed.
Since the Army Military Police I’ve worked in many capacities, from law enforcement to business to mental health, even going on to write a short short-story series. I grew to learn that I am needed. There are dozens of people who will attest to that. People of different religions and cultural beliefs. I am put in a tough spot — I look back over my shoulder to the shore and say to myself, “it is not my calling to do nothing. I’m a warrior, I’m always needed and in that, there is a time to rest and also a time to train/learn. Speaking up when it is needed, no matter who is in the room or if it is in front of family, is a foundational part of maturity. I can speak. I will speak.”
The Mix
But, we cannot create a purpose-driven response at work, in a group, at church, or even in our family if we first don’t have the mindset to speak up. We can have initiative all day, but if we have fear or something else preventing the communication of that initiative or to deliver the communication either too late or at an inappropriate time, it’s a flop.
Do not Make it More Complicated
It shouldn’t be more complicated than that. The first thing is you tackle your mindset, the thing stopping you from speaking. Even if you need a therapist or psychologist.
You always have something to say if you have something to add. It’s what we are meant to be. To make an ethical impact in our family, club, group, work, or church is the essence of life. It’s growth. Without growth, we can seep into a depressive state.
There are people who speak up when they have nothing to add. We call that white noise. We need less of these people and more of you.
Conclusion
So, the first thing is to identify your motivation and why you speak up, then you develop through practice and study your initiative to speak up.
A lot of times people don’t think that they matter or they don’t think they have anything to add. Or if they were like me, they had a fear of speaking.
No matter why you don’t speak up, there is a why to speak. Even if it is just basic human development to move you up in confidence.
You have a voice, written or verbal. No one can take that away from you unless you give them the power to.
And you have an obligation and a responsibility if you have something to add to continue developing yourself and learning in order to speak up with the needed information or innovation.
It doesn’t have to be perfect, it might never be perfect. My speeches are never perfect. But, there’s nothing in this world that will stop me from doing it. I have a grown into it. I have watered the seeds of knowing and believing that I have just as much right to progress up the chain as the next person. And by golly I’m going to. Thanks for reading! Thanks for the claps and sharing!!