Top 5 Reasons He Is Slowing on Texts
Why doesn’t he call? How to regain your center to maintain indifference regarding whether he will call or not
When is he going to text back?
Have you experienced this scenario? That anxious feeling swirling in your stomach each time your phone lights up, hoping it’s a message from him. Yet again, another day passes with no response.
I believe every woman at some point in her life has experienced this.
Yesterday, I went to the gym, and as I checked in at the reception, I happened to overhear a conversation.
Two girls talking, with one visibly angry. When asked why, she explained that her so-called new boyfriend was supposed to text her today about meeting up, but he didn’t, and now she’s furious.
During the workout, she repeatedly glanced at her phone, checking for messages from him.
As I observed, I pondered how many of us follow these same dating patterns.
Why isn’t he calling?
He is probably busy.
Or he probably got scared because he realized he had feelings…
Most probably, he did not.
He is probably not busy. Neither is scared or has family issues.
If he indeed does, and he cares for you, he will make sure to let you know so you do not worry about what is going on.
So what are the most common reasons he does not call back?
I want to do this article differently.
I want to present you first with the methods I have found helpful in how not to fixate on this matter and leave the reasons at the end.
I do so because I aim my articles to revolve around how to feel better in the long term not just while you read the article.
I strongly believe the more important part is learning from the experience rather than finding out the reason for this and that. While there may be countless motives driving someone’s actions, ultimately, it is in our own power to choose our reactions to the situations we encounter.
3 Easy Steps to getting yourself back to your center
1. Detachment Dating
The concept revolves around halting the cycle of obsession and fantasizing.
In simple terms, it means ceasing to dwell on thoughts of him.
You refrain from discussing him with friends or family, avoiding scrolling through his Instagram feed or daydreaming about future happiness with him.
You adjust your expectations while maintaining high standards, as we discussed in my previous articles.
You go on dates/talk to him/text him without preconceived notions, aiming for a sense of calmness.
When you’re calm, your judgment is clearer, allowing you to make more accurate assessments.
Interestingly, the more detached you become, the more interested the other person often becomes.
This energy shift, characterized by calm receptiveness rather than needy expectations, tends to attract others.
The notion that “if you want to make him obsessed with you, pretend you don’t care” holds true because genuine indifference eliminates obsession, neediness, and anxiety.
Instead, you exude confidence, composure, and tranquility — qualities universally appreciated by both potential partners and friends.
This approach alleviates pressure, creating an atmosphere conducive to enjoyment.
Men, in general, seek peace and relaxation. They work hard and value their leisure time for rejuvenation. Consequently, they seek partners who contribute to their enjoyment and fun.
Hence the saying, “When you stop looking, the right person will come.”
When you’re content and fulfilled in your own life, you naturally attract others instead of actively pursuing them.
2. Focus
I found this skill to be the key to achieving anything in life.
This ability I call the mastery of mind control.
The essence lies in mastering the ability to sustain focus whenever you want without succumbing to a flood of thoughts mere minutes later.
It often entails the practice of meditation, a simple yet powerful technique. It doesn’t require more than 10 minutes (every day) of sitting with closed eyes, focusing solely on your breath. Even this brief period can provide the initial sense of regaining control over your thoughts.
However, like any skill, mastering thought control requires practice. Yet, I firmly believe it’s one of the most — if not the most — crucial skills to acquire.
And this will help you not only with dating anxiety, it will improve your overall mental health.
How many times have you heard a girlfriend say, “I’m so busy at work, yet I’m constantly thinking about him”?
I’ve been practicing meditation for some time now, and I find it much easier to change my thoughts when I catch myself dwelling on things I don’t want to.
I say catch because awareness is a pivotal concept in learning to control your thoughts. It involves the ability to observe without being engulfed by our emotions.
Training the mind doesn’t mean we can switch off thoughts forever; rather, it enables us to swiftly recognize when we’re spiraling into the trap of creating hypothetical scenarios about the past or future, which are essentially fantasies. It is not real.
So why should you be worrying about something that might never even happen?
Only by staying in the present moment and seeing the situation as it is, we could react in the best possible way. Observing the world as it is not seeing it through our lens of how we think it might be.
Catching ourselves in these moments empowers us to pause and redirect our attention. As the saying goes, “where thought goes energy flows.”
What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create. - BUDDHA
3. Hobbies
Have you ever noticed that when you’re engaged in something you truly enjoy, your mind seems to go blank?
It’s as if your brain is taking a much-needed rest.
It feels incredibly good and refreshing, doesn’t it? You’re completely immersed in the moment, feeling happy and content.
Engaging in activities that bring you joy and calmness is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Despite our busy lives, the more we prioritize these activities, the better we’ll feel.
Try to incorporate as many of these moments as possible into your daily routine.
When you experience this sense of calmness and happiness in your brain, it radiates throughout your body and attracts external events that match this positive energy.
Remember what we feel we attract.
Now reaching the end of the article I am listing the top 5 reasons I gathered from my personal experience and my friend’s experience.
I would start with the most overlooked reason but sometimes the most obvious.
1. Just not meant to be
It is important to note that sometimes it’s not about who did what, but simply a lack of chemistry.
Similarly, just as we don’t become friends with everyone we meet, we shouldn’t expect to find a lifelong partner after only a few dates.
Here, I encourage women (and men who share this perspective) not to focus on assigning blame, but rather to view it as an opportunity for personal growth and creating space for those who truly belong in their lives. Here is one of my articles, which has received positive feedback on this specific topic if you want to read further.
2. Love Bombing
Many guys (and many women too) Love Bomb. This behavior may be conscious or subconscious and does not mean the person is bad, it is just the way they chose to behave.
Many men as many women need external validation to feel good. Often by using such manipulative techniques, they can get rather quick access to this emotional validation.
Most men are used to speaking to more than one woman at a time. They also usually have more experience and thus know how women react to certain things to provoke certain emotions in them.
For instance, a guy I was texting with began sending me screenshots of the time, emphasizing my favorite numbers after I mentioned them. While it could be romantic, as indeed I felt it to be, I still encourage you ladies to be cautious. Early stages of dating could be tricky and keeping some distance is a good strategy for protecting yourself from players. It’s not about being mistrustful, but rather maintaining a healthy distance to avoid diving headfirst into love at the slightest sign of affection, like receiving multiple screenshots of 11:11.
There are many people (men and women) not considering other people’s feelings and dating for fun sometimes even practicing different techniques on you. Better safe than sorry.
3. A candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long
I love proverbs because they are wisdom in a sentence.
This scenario highlights how some women may give too much too quickly in a relationship.
They believe they’ve found “the one,” who wants to spend every day together and become intimate within a short time frame.
However, the initial passion often fades within a month. It is known men fall through actions, and it takes time. While there are exceptions to the rule, this is a common scenario.
“Don’t ask an old horse, ask a racehorse!”
Suggesting seeking advice or guidance from those with relevant experience and active involvement rather than relying on being the exception.
4. From a Woman to a Little Girl
Another scenario unfolds when they genuinely care, but the woman shifts into a needy energy due to an unfilled void for love (often arising from absent fathers in their lives).
Thus transforming from the woman they were initially drawn to into someone resembling a little needy girl.
While some men are initially drawn to the “little girl” type, reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe, they often grow weary of this dynamic. Similar to the situation with Marilyn, they eventually become bored with constantly feeling like a father figure, attending to her emotional insecurity.
At first, they might embrace their feminine energy, giving the man the feeling he is protecting them thus provoking his masculinity.
However, soon after, they project their inner void onto him, hoping he’ll become their savior which leads them to adopt a needy attitude, expecting or demanding things prematurely.
As a result, he might feel repelled and begin to withdraw.
If a woman chooses to escalate the pressure as he withdraws, it exacerbates the situation, causing the dynamic to deteriorate further and ultimately resulting in inevitable disappointment.
5. Changing Energy
Numerous examples exist of men being attracted to women who initially needed their help, only to feel repelled once she felt secure and reverted to her independent energy.
Many women are unaware of the power of energy. This is why viral videos about how detachment helped them reconcile with their exes gain traction.
When you shift your energy, the other person can feel it, leading to changes in the dynamics between you.
For a stable relationship, maintain a stable emotional energy.
Tips from the Dating Guru
You’ve likely heard of Matthew Hussey, a renowned dating coach. He offers a wealth of free content on this topic that you can explore.
So why do we care so much if he is going to call?
As I’ve discussed in detail in my previous articles, women often find themselves drawn to the potential in their partners, not the reality of them.
This inclination is rooted in psychological theories that explain our pursuit of an ideal mate.
However, this ideal is unattainable because it doesn’t truly exist.
Alternatively, many women may struggle with closeness and trust due to early childhood trauma, leading their brains to develop coping mechanisms aimed at protection.
Unfortunately, this coping mechanism doesn’t provide the desired protection; instead, it exacerbates issues by transferring the potential from one person to another without progressing into a relationship.
When such a woman finds herself attracted to a man, she immediately projects her ideal onto him.
From there, it’s only a matter of time before the relationship ends, prompting her to ask the familiar questions: “Why does this always happen?” and “What am I doing wrong?”
I hope this article will help you get a step closer to never asking yourself that question in the title again!
If you like what you read, I invite you to subscribe. Feel free to write to me with topics you would like me to include or if you want to share with me your personal experience. The more knowledge we share with each other the better we can become!
Love yourself, and love each other, we are the primal source of life and love on the planet! Let us create a better world together, full of love and compassion!
With Love,
Enigma ❤
