Top 3 Things Every High-Value Woman Does in Early Dating. Part 1

How to use others’ mistakes to our advantage by learning what not to do.

I have a dream.

I want to live in a world where I go out, I meet with a friend, and each one of us tells how happy she is with her husband and how well he treats her.

Inspired by Gandhi’s famous quote — Be the change you wish to see in the world, although a bit different from the original. I have decided to create a weekly series on the topic of the most common early dating setbacks and how to overcome them as well as what a high-value woman would do.

PS. If you want me to write longer articles on some of the points you can comment with your suggestion and I will elaborate further in a separate article.

I’ll share personal experiences and insights from my friends about dating to create informative articles on common dating setbacks and how to prevent them, aiming to help us learn from each other’s experiences and get closer to the love we all crave faster!

I want to help women set the foundation right so they can build a healthy long-term relationship, not sell you another guide on “How to make him fall in love with you with 12 simple steps”.

The Same Story

I have just come back from a weekend with girlfriends where the prime topic is men and their awful experiences with them.

I am usually the only woman in most groups of women who always defends men and tries to put the story around what we can learn from the experience rather than complain about how we feel about it.

This weekend, I realized once again that another group of friends is facing similar relationship issues. It’s striking how every woman I meet seems to go through a similar cycle of dating, yet fails to recognize the recurring actions that hold her back, all while expecting different results.

I love the quote by Albert Einstein as it somehow encapsulates so beautifully our human nature.

‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’ — Albert Einstein

That’s why I emphasize the following three key points as vital in the early stages of dating. Incorporating them has significantly enhanced my dating experiences, as confirmed by many of my friends as well. They’ve helped me filter for only top-tier men, and I hope they prove beneficial to you as well!

From Day 1 A High-Value Woman:

1. SETS.HER. STANDARDS.

We need a strong stable foundation, ladies. In the same way, a house is built, a relationship is built.

High-value women aim for a healthy lasting relationship and not just for a holiday to the Maldives. She does not have time to waste; so from the very first day, a high-value woman shows her standards.

We must remind ourselves not to settle for anything below our standards.

Standards vary for each individual based on their needs and values.

Famous books and articles often provide generalized advice that may not resonate personally with you. It is very important to know your personal standards as one’s man’s trash is another man’s fortune…and there is nothing wrong about this! While your standards may differ from mine, what truly matters is that you’re aware of your standards and firmly uphold them.

Some women find it difficult to communicate their standards through words. If you are one of them you can simply show him.

For example, if you want him to open the door for you, the next time you’re at the door, pause and wait until he opens it, showing him your standards in action, no need to tell him.

If he fails to call you after you’ve asked him to, kindly let him know your expectations for follow-through. If this happens again, consider withdrawing. Is a man who doesn’t stand by his word on simple matters like this what you truly want?

No man will ever disrespect you again. Simply because you will not allow him. And ladies, these examples are the bare minimum for me.

You will not lose another day, month, (God bless, a whole year..)of your life in a situationship and you will save so many tears and emotions, and most importantly — TIME!

No matter whether you are 18 or 50, nobody has time to waste. Why do so then? Wasted time only forces you to feel pressured to find a man quicker. A woman should never feel pressured.

Our biggest power is our feminine energy and it thrives in calmness and safety! Which means time must be your best friend. We must find a way to have time always on our side!

2. Respects Her Boundaries.

A high-value woman never allows a man to make her feel pressured by him. She has strong boundaries and she acts on her terms and timeline.

This means you decide when you see him, talk to him, and respond. You can do this gracefully without feeling pressured to explain your absence or reply immediately. And most importantly, you shouldn’t feel pressured about when to sleep with him.

There was a man who walked by me at an event. We just grasped at each other. I knew he liked me. We did not speak or meet. Later that week he contacted me. He found a way to find my name and phone number. I liked that. It showed perseverance.

He contacted me and asked me out. I remembered him because there was something about his eyes. I remember when he walked past me I thought, “wow such beautiful eyes”. This is not a common thing for me. I am very picky.

However, I still did not know him. So when he asked me out even though I wanted to see him (do not tell him that) I said I needed time. And this was the truth. My brain was telling me — “you want him” but my gut was telling me otherwise — “This is a stranger, you need to think about it”.

I needed to give some time to my intuition to let me know. So I said, I would need some time to think about it. He politely replied - “of course, take your time”. He was a gentleman from the start. From the first message and from the first moment he approached me.

This is what I mean. You need to follow your intuition. Your gut feeling. If you feel even remotely like something is off you should stop. Women have very strong intuition learn to listen to it and you will always know the right path for you.

3. Knows Potential is Not Reality

A High-Value Woman Stops herself from falling for potential.

I was around 16 when my mother told me this sentence. I did not understand her. It took me 10 years.

Often women are too desperate to meet the one. There are various reasons, such as the belief that he will rescue them and create a fairytale life, or societal pressure not to be alone and have kids. This mindset, known as the Disney Syndrome, leads women to focus on the result from the first date rather than enjoying the dating experience and evaluating compatibility.

A high-value woman, however, understands that she is better off alone than with someone who isn’t on her level. She isn’t afraid to be alone, set standards, make him wait, or be authentic. She knows that this approach is essential for finding the right partner and focuses on letting him prove himself to her, rather than the other way around. Women need to recognize their worth as the prize to be pursued by men, rather than chasing after men themselves.

I hesitate to mention it, but there have been numerous accounts of women standing by men as they grow and develop, only to see them leave for another woman once they reach their full potential. While many others never even develop that potential.

Nevertheless, if a man consistently excels in everything he does, demonstrates your significance to him, and aligns his words with his actions, then it’s worth supporting him!

However, I have noticed that most women fall for the potential they see in the future and not in the actions of today.

All I want to communicate through this article is:

Judge them by their actions.

Some women hold onto the belief that once their man achieves success, he will start doing certain things differently. However, a friend shared a memorable quote with me:

‘The way he behaves in small matters is indicative of how he’ll act in bigger ones.’

So, if he earns just $1000 a month but consistently takes care of you and makes you feel cherished, even if he can’t afford extravagant gifts, he’ll do so when he has the means. Unfortunately, some women tolerate mistreatment in the hope that they’ll change once they become successful.

Especially in early dating, women need to use their brains more and their emotions less.

High-value women prioritize clear judgment over quick emotional attachment. They take their time getting to know the man and avoid becoming too friendly too soon because we are too emotional and some of us get attached in a week.

Emotional attachment clouds judgment, making it harder to assess compatibility.

When you’re attached too early in the dating and he doesn’t call, arrives late, or cancels plans, instead of feeling repelled, as you would if you had no feelings, you might find yourself craving his attention. This neediness puts you in a disadvantageous position. And now even if he calls you last minute, many women might say yes simply because they miss him.

Ladies, consider how absurd it sounds to miss someone you barely know, especially when they’ve behaved poorly.

This longing often stems from a lack of self-love and the need for attention and validation, desires a high-value woman lacks. She knows she deserves better, she does not lack love because she knows how to give it to herself and she does not need external validation or attention to feel she is worthy.

High-value women maintain emotional distance until sure of a man’s worth, proceeding steadily even then.

The most important thing we need to protect is our mind. The moment a guy takes control over your mind and emotions you have lost.

Now, as we near the conclusion of this article, we arrive at the most significant ability of a high-value woman:

Do not give in so easily.

I could stop here and promise you that if you follow only this rule you will increase your success rate in dating by at least 50% and will get rid of probably 90% of the players just in the first month. Which I call — a time savior!

Modern men have become lazy. They are not hungry. They have too much attention they even get bored. They have several girls one phone call away if they feel lonely, bored, or aroused.

A few months ago I went to a party. Two single gentlemen were there who happened to be best friends. Both of them liked me instantly. I liked one of them as well. We talked, we danced, we laughed — we clicked. I was happy about such a sudden lovely connection, you know it is not so common.

Then out of the blue, he came to me and told me he had to step back because his friend likes me as well and they are best friends. I was shocked. But wait this is not the most shocking part.

Not only did he decide to withdraw after he spent the whole night with me but he got mad because I allowed his friend to then come dance with me.

And here, ladies, I want to emphasize this: Nowadays, men aren’t accustomed to competition because we don’t challenge them enough.

I did not like the other guy but I was not going to sit in the corner and cry. Not was I going to convince the 1st guy that I liked him and not the other one. His friend came, spoke to me and we danced. The stronger ones win. Always! Somehow this man thought I should be fighting for him and not the other way around.

Again a high-value woman does not try to get the man to like her she allows him to show her why she should like him.

You might be wondering “But you said you clicked, you liked him”. But alas, my dear standards swiftly chimed in: “This behavior doesn’t even make it past the minimum requirement for interest!” And just like that, I was repelled faster than you can say “dating disaster!”

Take Away

If you have standards and know your standards it becomes much easier to navigate through life in general. You might not know what you want but knowing for sure what you do NOT want is sometimes more important.

It is like a requirement to get into a good school or job. If you match the requirements you pass, they do not care how convincing you are that you deserve to be there if you do not have the skills or education required. So why do you give a man your attention if he has not shown you he deserves it?

If there is one thing I want you to take away from this article that will transform your dating is the following.

Actions, not words! Remember that.

If you are a woman who accepts only good behavior you should not be experiencing anything else.

I spoke to men about this topic and they all responded the same way. “ We treat women the way you allow us to. Suppose we get away with things - we do them, if we do not — we don’t. We don’t want to lose the woman we like but if she tolerates us why should we stop ourselves from doing something we want to?”

We get what we tolerate.

If you do not want to feel anxious and uncertain about when he is going to call or why he is sometimes hot and sometimes cold, stop dating men who make you feel this way.

Ladies, the only way you can get the man of your dreams is if you make space for him. To that, you should not tolerate any other man who is not on the level you want your dream guy to be. Set your standards, respect your boundaries, and learn to control your emotions. Then you will get the results.

It is the same in every aspect of life. You learn, you practice, you become good at it.

I hope you like the article and there is something for each of you to sleep on!

If you like what you read, I invite you to subscribe. Feel free to write to me with topics you would like me to include or if you want to share with me your personal experience. The more knowledge we share with each other the better we can become!

Love yourself, and love each other, we are the primal source of life and love on the planet! Let us create a better world together, full of love and compassion!

With Love,

-Enigma ❤