There Is No True Formula for Success

Success is not a final destination, nor is it a single definition

Are you worried that you won’t reach a successful point in your life? Do you find yourself reading articles with headlines such as these luring you into their definitions and strategies for acquiring success?

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One thing I’ve learned: success is not a final destination. It has no endpoint. It is always a work in progress, a continuing goal you strive for every day. So how do you gauge if you are on the path to being successful?

You define it in your terms, and you change the definition as you see fit.

Success, defined as the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of goals; the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like, a person or thing that has had success, as measured by attainment of goals, wealth, etc.

It’s absurd how we look to the dictionary for meanings so narrow they fit in a box, one definition. The world made up of approximately 7.8 billion people yet, many of us follow one definition of success, or worse, success defined by others.

The only definition of success you should care about is yours.

Success defined by others is misleading

Success for you is committing to something regardless of what others think you should/shouldn’t do. I grew up in a culture where parents often decided what career path you would follow. You are denied the right to choose. They do it based on their perception of success and how they see it.

If you have the will to live a life based on your definition of success, you first have to ask: ‘What do I want in life?’

If success for you is kicking an addiction, quit hanging out with people that don’t support you or influence you with bad choices. If success for you is to start exercising to lose weight for a healthier body, quit hanging out with people who suggest you fine the way you are.

When I strive to be a better parent, I don’t look to other parents and wish to be successful as they are in how they raise their children. I try to be a better parent by learning from my behavior and looking for ways to enhance our relationship.

I was a person who changed my job every year. It was like an internal calling to move on. It was frowned upon, quoted as looking bad on your resume where no recruiter will hire you. You not seen as a loyal employee, and the chances of you climbing up the ladder will be slim. I did it anyway — for many years because I was not aiming for the same goals. I realized early on their view of success was not going to be mine.

Life is not a contest; we are competing only with ourselves. When you make progress by taking it one day at a time, that is the indicator you are on your road to success.

By all means, make success that pot of gold — in sight, but never in grasp. Because once you think you’ve attained success, that pot of gold will never be enough.

Why following others can be your downfall

If you want to be successful, most times, you have to stop following the masses. Even if your definition of success aligns with theirs, your journey is an individual one.

If a personal goal for someone is financial stability — earning a million by age 40 and reaching it — means they are successful. What will following that definition look like for you: it might be working till you burnout; having health problems as a result; spending less time with your family; in the end despising yourself or worse feeling you failed for not reaching that goal.

Every minute you give to living by other's standard of success is a minute of your life gone.

Many people see success in terms of money, fame, and career status only. I see success as anything I do today that makes me better than me yesterday. That is my benchmark. The truth is, one day, you can have money, fame, and status and lose it the next.

Looking at people you know — colleagues, friends, or even family members, you will see them working towards goals measured by others. There is nothing wrong with wanting money, power, or career status.

As a consolation, you can look at some of the wealthiest people in the world. After accumulating money, fame, status, their take on success is contending.

Richard Branson says, “Too many people measure how successful they are by how much money they make or the people that they associate with. In my opinion, true success should be measured by how happy you are.”

Realizing the true meaning of success

Success is not something unattainable, some secret, some pursuit; it is something within you.

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, by Robin Sharma, is a fictional story of a successful(perceived) lawyer earning a seven-figure salary. He believed financial and material wealth equaled success. Eventually struggling to maintain a work-life balance, he leaves his life, giving up everything to go on a journey searching for true happiness.

His journey reveals that success carries a deeper meaning. In reality, we have to ask what are we sacrificing to achieve the false perception of success?

Robin Sharma says, “Success cannot be pursued; success ensues. It flows as the unintended byproduct of efforts concentrated in the direction of a worthy cause.”

Signs that reveal you are making progress

Once you figure out the reason for your unhappiness and your measure of success, you will notice the subtle yet powerful signs that you are making progress towards success by your terms.

The true mark of success is not what you do when in the spotlight, it’s what you do when no one is looking.

You are grateful for everything you’ve had to deal with in this life.
You accept failure and see it as a lesson learned.
You value yourself and have conviction in all you do.
You live in the present, not defined by your past.
You realize you are always a work in progress, and growth is inescapable.
You know money doesn’t equal success.
You stop comparing yourself to others.
You say no to things that don’t align with your values.
You are happy no matter how much or little you have.

Final thoughts

So, what does being a success mean for you? It’s a hell of a question and thus should have a very personal answer. Most importantly, it should not define you as someone lacking drive and ambition but rather reflecting your choices and preferences on living a life of purpose and significance.

In his TED talk, Rick Warren says, “You can work for survival, for success, or for significance.”

Your road to success needs to be paved by your definition of it. It is not determined by outside constitutions of thought but by inner purpose and daily practice. Show up today, so you can be better than you were yesterday.

Thank you for reading.

If you want to read more of my writings, you may read the following articles published in The Masterpiece.

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