Quit Any Bad Habit or Addiction the Way My Father Did
By swearing on someone’s life you will hold yourself more accountable
Every morning, we light a lamp and say our prayers. A few weeks back, I found myself standing in front of the home temple, ready to take an oath in front of God, for something I wanted to stop doing. It made me think, up until this point, I had found it hard.
Now, standing in front of a higher power I’m able to do it — no sweat — and decide to commit to it 100%. The difference was obvious. Being accountable to myself didn’t cut it; being accountable to someone bigger than me, did.
What are some promises you make to yourself? Perhaps, you wish to kick that bad habit or stop an addiction.
Bad habits and Addiction
Is addiction the same as having a bad habit? I feel the lines differentiating them to be blurring. Both have detrimental effects on the mind and body. A bad habit is a negative behavior pattern. Addiction is a strong inclination to do, use, or indulge in something repeatedly.
Both echo one keyword, repetition.
Examples of bad habits include always checking your social media feeds, compulsive shopping, or dependence on caffeine and sugar. Examples of addictions include drinking and smoking.
If we have the motivation to adopt good habits, akin to New Year’s resolutions, why can’t we use that same motivation to rid ourselves of bad habits and addictions?
Willpower and motivation versus accountability
We all have the willpower, and the motivation to overcome bad habits and addictions. The thing is, it’s never a continuous stream. Sometimes you get a healthy dose driving you and other times it’s in short supply.
People often say motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily — Zig Ziglar
An accountability study by The American Society of Training and Development (ASTD) found that by committing to someone, you have a 65% chance of completing a goal, and a success rate of up to 95%.
Seeing the effects of accountability in action
I experienced my first run-in with the power of accountability when I was a teenager. My dad had a smoking habit. He started when he was 16 due to peer pressure. Everyone was doing it. That was his reason then. There was no need to continue something that he started a long time ago for a reason that holds no value in the present. It was time to let go.
My dad’s mom, my grandmother, was still with us at the time. One day we all gathered in the sunken lounge. The day was gorgeous and it was my favorite room in the entire house. It was a large room, surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows, with the curtains drawn. You could feel the warmth of the sun coming through. My grandfather, mother, brother, and sister were present. I wasn’t aware of why we were summoned, and what would come of the meeting.
My dad sat in front of my grandmother. He was performing some kind of ritual. My grandmother made him hold some water in his right hand. Water is very symbolic, and a form of purification in Hinduism. Then he had to swear on her life that from that day forward he would give up smoking. The tears were streaming down his face, and his eyes were red. I understood the gravity of that moment, and what it meant, not for my dad alone, but every one of us. He repeated after her and then poured the water into a nearby plant.
This was the moment, where he didn’t have a reason to continue, but a reason to stop.
It taught me that we all have it within us. it’s a matter of when and what drives us. It’s always the people that we love whom we strive to be better for. If we can’t do it for ourselves, we can do it for them.
The importance of being honest and aware of your intentions
Intentions and accountability go hand in hand. The choices we make every day feel like decisions, when in fact 40–45% is out of habit. It begs the question, how aware are we of our habits and addictions?
If we are aware, then the intent to overcome should be long-term, not short-term. Permanent, not temporary?
When my grandmother passed a few years later, my dad didn’t think of taking it up again. While he realized he was only being accountable to her at the time, his intention behind why was for his future, his health, and for his children. He had seen the benefits, and they outweighed any excuse to continue.
In conclusion
If I want to make a change or stop a bad habit, I think of my dad and think of others holding me accountable.
My husband used to send me a reminder every day to have a healthy snack and drink water. It was something I wanted to do, and this was a way for him to hold me accountable. Now I don’t need a reminder, because I’ve formed a healthy habit. Every morning, I fill my water bottle, pack a container with fruit and vegetables, or another healthy snack.
Accountability and intent are two weapons essential for shattering bad habits and addictions. If you can master these, you will be on your way to adopting sounder, and healthier attachments.
Thank you for reading.
If you want to read more of my writings, you may read the following articles published in The Masterpiece.
