The Laziness Paradox
A poem to self on laziness
we are taught to beat laziness it was a little something but since we always avoid it now it had become a monster — feelings of laziness — what is laziness anyway if we cannot sense it in our body
we are not advised to see if we can let it be to see if we have the capacity to let some time pass with it before we begin to fight it with our mindless doings to prove I ain’t lazy or before we call the day off and decide to wallow in self-pity while hoping the monster to not be there but only some future tomorrow I skip the opportunity to do inner work
skipping inner work by not letting myself see if I have the capacity to bear it my stubborn refusal to see is by itself laziness — actually the real laziness — we might do anything to not confront it not some tough confrontation or anything like that we don’t make the enemy stronger than it already is because we are lazy to see if it is really anything we don't have the patience or the willingness to see if I can let it be and if I can first let time pass with it I would see that I can also get things done with it which I think is the real meaningful work real work of extending oneself out of the inertia of laziness not by forcing the opposite by being a slave to the inertia of blind doing
Iris Murdoch’s quote makes perfect sense here:
“In philosophy if you aren’t moving at a snail’s pace you aren’t moving at all.”
this does not mean we need to mimic slow movements as the new age mindful movement says but there can be a natural slowing down as part of respecting ourselves while dealing with the inner monsters
productivity for the sake of productivity is born out of laziness and vanity we are using it as an end to itself or as a way to glorify one’s self-image by kicking away the monsters including our laziness from our vicinity but then we end up as a lazy fool who feels lazy despite all the hard work though no one will know your internal state
rationalizing our inability to let it (laziness) be is a way by which we fool ourselves we end up with a lot of doings without cultivating an ounce of negative capacity with the time we got to do anything
but if we are dedicating it as a means to spiritual work to not curse the monsters that arise but to see it as an opportunity to built my inner strength and let them be in my presence this way anything any daily engagements becomes a kind of meditation
it is indeed discomforting because of my habitual tendency to resist and fight it every time so unconsciously by not giving/spending enough time to see it but with my presence — seeing and letting it be — I gently melt or dissolve them into any work in time just like warm milk has the capacity to dissolve the sugar cubes in it my presence provides the warmth to bear and dissolve laziness or any other monsters without beating myself for having them
In order to develop a sense of how to deal with evil, however, we first have to try and understand the nature of the beast with which we are dealing. — Paul Levy
