Summary

The article discusses the self-help industry through the lens of Gary, an ambitious individual who views self-improvement as a lucrative business opportunity, leveraging public domain knowledge and human psychology.

Abstract

The narrative centers around Gary, an attendee at a Tony Robbins seminar, who sees the self-help industry as a goldmine due to its evergreen appeal to people's desire for self-improvement and the abundance of ancient philosophical texts in the public domain. Gary is portrayed as someone who is more interested in the financial gains of the self-help sector than personal growth. He is aware of the psychological tactics used by self-help gurus to engage and motivate their audiences, such as the manipulation of cognitive biases. The article also delves into Gary's cynical views on common self-help mantras, such as the "1% rule," the idea that "everything is possible," and the promise of happiness through self-improvement, revealing his skepticism about the industry's grandiose claims. Despite this, Gary acknowledges the benefits of daily goal-oriented work and the potential for personal growth, albeit with a more realistic approach. The author, Smillew, uses this interaction to reflect on the nature of the self-help industry and its impact on individuals, questioning the true value of the advice peddled by self-proclaimed experts.

Opinions

Gary views the self-help industry as a profitable venture, capitalizing on the public domain wisdom of ancient philosophers.
He recognizes the effectiveness of psychological manipulation in selling self-help concepts and the power of cognitive biases in engaging an audience.
Gary criticizes the "1% rule" as an unrealistic standard for improvement, highlighting the impossibility of sustaining such growth over time.
He believes that the notion "everything is possible" is misleading, as it ignores individual differences in abilities and potential.
Gary expresses a more nuanced understanding of happiness, suggesting that the self-help industry's promise of joy through self-improvement is overly simplistic and ignores deeper spiritual meanings.
He observes that the pursuit of self-improvement has shifted from seeking enlightenment to chasing fame and recognition.
The author, Smillew, while acknowledging the value of personal anecdotes in engaging readers, seems to maintain a critical eye towards the self-help industry and its methods.

The Beauty of Making Money With Self-Improvement

You can always do better

Gary* is the most shameless self-help grifter I ever met.

We were both attending a Tony Robbins’ seminar, but Gary wasn’t there to “unleash the power within.” He wanted to learn the ropes from experts.

“These folks know all the cognitive biases, and more importantly, they know how to use them to convince their audience. It’s like a psychology course on steroids, and it’s super cheap when you think of the return on investment I’m going to make.”

Gary was so enthusiastic that he talked too much and even forgot to ask what I was doing there. I could see $ signs flashing in his eyes.

I think Gary was — unwillingly — hypnotized by Tony Robbins’ very engaging and energetic way of doing things, and he felt the need for human connection. He wanted to share with another human being his joy and excitement.

So, I asked him what he loved the most about self-improvement.

And, oh boy, he delivered.

“You can milk the topic till the end of time because people always feel bad about themselves. And you would think that’s the best part.”

He made a pause for effect and added:

“But there’s more!! The best part is that you don’t have to invent anything because philosophers wrote in length about self-improvement 2,000 years ago!!”

Then he shouted with a huge smile on his face (and even bigger $ signs in his eyes):

“AND IT’S PUBLIC DOMAIN!!!”

At that point, we high-fived and hugged because Gary was so pumped, and we both knew it was good for our oxytocin levels.

To their credit, self-help professionals like Gary usually know a thing or two about dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. (Gary even recommended me some genuine scientific articles on the topic.)

If you’ve read some of my articles before, you know I can’t resist asking questions when someone’s willing to talk with me. I’m always happy to learn something new (and Gary told me it was a great way to improve oneself!).

I felt Gary would tell me the truth, and I asked him what were the three biggest lies self-help grifters sold their audience.

“Hahaha, that’s super easy.

The 1% rule
Everything is possible
It will make you happy.”

I don’t remember his exact words, but I can paraphrase him.

The 1% rule is a big fat manipulative lie because 1% sounds super small and easy, but improving by 1% every single day is utterly impossible. If it worked, you would be 37 times better at the end of the year. Pick any topic or any area you tried to improve in your life so far, and you know how impossible it is to be 37 times better after one year.

The trick — as always with self-help (according to Gary), is that there’s some truth behind it (it’s good to work on your goals every day), but the results are over-inflated to make people believe it’s easy and buy more of whatever the grifter is selling.

“Everything is Possible” is a similar concept. The truth is we can always improve, and the lie is forgetting that different people have different capacities. In a surprising moment of self-awareness, Gary told me that no matter how hard he tried, he would never be as good as Tony Robbins. “This guy has a gift.”

These two ideas weren’t new to me, but the happiness one took me by surprise. And I remember everything about Gary when he shared his wisdom. His posture, his voice, his eyes, and every single piece of his body language told me a story of honesty and sadness.

It was as if Gary was stuck in Plato’s cave, knowing full well where he was but also aware he would never have the strength to exit it.

“The thing is that working on yourself will make you happier, but we have made a business from the spiritual practice and stripped it away from all its deeper meaning. We transformed faith and love for human beings’ incredible potential into a giant hamster wheel where we trick ourselves into running and self-improving until we die of exhaustion.”

Gary looked at me. I don’t know what he saw in my eyes, but I hope it was compassion. He added one last thing before leaving me and the seminar:

“We don’t improve ourselves to reach enlightenment anymore; we do it to be in the spotlight.”

References: Why Believing in Santa Claus Can Lead You to a Better Life Embracing Failure and A Beginner’s Mind by Natasha MH No One Gives a Fuck About Personal Growth by Philip Ogley

Are you wondering why someone with my scientific background was at a Tony Robbins seminar? Well. It’s because I read that starting your articles with a personal anecdote makes the readers more likely to engage with your content. And is there a better way to have stories to share than by going out there and exploring the world?

Smillew is a Medium artiste. As such, he shamelessly lies and begs for money on ko-fi.