The 118th: Metaverse of the Morally Mundane

Here’s today’s ‘Why did the Chicken Cross the Road’ mutation. Why did the Orange Crush get angry that Nimarata did not just give up and go away? Couldn’t have been because of the whispers of oncoming irrelevance, could it? You know what the best part of that rant was? Mr. Crush was quite put out that Nimarata acted like she won when she had clearly lost to HIM. And not only had she lost to him, her dress was ugly. There was a time when that kind of catty statement would have been labeled as sass, but these days the kids just call that shit bitchy.
I don’t know why the far-right-of-the-political-spectrum think that a stuffy, starchy, prudish, priggish, censorious, narrow-minded, hair shirt, abstemious, old maidish agenda is going to be popular enough to attract the love and admiration of the voting public. These are good intentioned folks, I think, but they are living in a democracy that was designed to allow people of any and all beliefs to thrive and prosper. Y’all know why it is you have the freedom to even own that oversized pickup you’ve been working on forever? The one you take down to that mud hole just to see if you can get stuck? Well, it ain’t because God rewards those who pursue the moral mundane as though it were a mating dance for exotic birds.
The middle class exists because of the freedom you have to get your complete dream McMansion all the way down to the two cats in the yard. Democracy is what makes that freedom exist in all its inclusiveness. That freedom includes the freedom to believe as you damned-well please. That freedom even includes the freedom to determine right and wrong beliefs based on an ancient account which has been translated to mean what the translators decided it meant more times than Aunt Ruthie has been married, and that poor girl has pock marks on her face from running into so much rice.
Just because you have the freedom to believe as you wish does not mean that anything you decide to believe is wise. Recently there have been rumors that an ex-president of the United States has embarked on a quest to determine if it was wise to claim a belief in one of his most closely held fantasies. The courts are proving to be terribly stringent on such petulant insistence in a gentleman of his age and standing. They do not seem to be sympathetic to treating him as a bullied, long suffering, albeit obnoxiously vocal, victim. Early reports paint them as lacking compassion for his claims of winning an election that he had clearly lost. They haven’t been catty about his dress as of yet, though.
All this interaction with the courts has got to have MagaMike spooked. Remember that Maga went over to the Senate to borrow a cup of sugar from Chucky. Not that one. The old guy in the Senate. The one who has a girlfriend who clerks for the judge about to set punitive damages for Orange Crush over him fantasizing about how a woman he met one time is really just an imaginary playmate but, as it turns out, one with a nasty and expensive recoil. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard of an ancient manuscript that offers advice on what concoction one takes to dislodge oneself from a quicksand of malfeasance encountered on the road to usurping power, in spite of losing an election.
I don’t know this for sure, but I suspect the Orange Crush appears as an Uber Bro to the Bro Class of the far-right wing. Luminaries like Matt E. D. Crusher and the Southern Cross Fit Belle, better known as Peachy, and other Congressmen, all think that the Orange Crush is Uber Cool and due to his Uber Standing he can do no wrong because he’s too cool for school. That he struggles with critical thought does not bother his Bro Class Congressmen. They struggle with it too. If something fits together in their heads, then it has to be real. One just does not ask how moonshine and corn pone fit together to justify interpretive religious expression of invasive belief policing. One can merely say, “That’s nice, dear, God love ya.”
For the likes of MagaMike who cannot imagine life after the Crush, abject compliance has seemed to be the path to survival in this dangerous world. But even Mother Maria can’t watch over him in this world, but he still sings the song because he’s supposed to. If only he and his crew were not so damned rebellious. Then there’s that fellow out there in Texas, for example, that is bowing his neck up like he’s large and in charge. I guess he doesn’t remember that the federal government can federalize the Texan National Guard. It just could be that Old Joe has to enact the insurrection act just to encourage Mr. Abbot to reconsider dismounting his tall white horse. I can understand that Mr. Abbot is frustrated that people from all the lands south of his border are doing their best to change their principal place of residence. But rather than being part of the solution, he just wants to kill the problem.
And don’t you know this is precisely the reason that MagaMike is wondering if he must hesitate. Maga has been lamenting that the immigration/Ukraine funding package is coming over from the Senate momentarily and that he does not have the Republican votes necessary to pass the package in the House. He would have to rely on Democratic support again. Oh, Mother Maria, look over us please as we stumble around in this dangerous world. Maga knows that is a mortal sin as far as Peachy and Matt and the rest of the R Congressmen are concerned.
But MagaMike also knows that he has responsibility before the world to act as though he is doing what is best for the United States and all its allies. MagaMike cannot put his Maga loyalty before his global responsibility. On that global stage, one must represent more than a backwater Louisiana parish. MagaMike is hopefully beginning to realize that he must represent the power of the United States. In the light of his actual role on the world stage, his pretend ark, his porn cop app, his gay conversion therapy and his ridiculous statements about his agenda being written out in the Bible, are shown as childish attempts to garner approval from the authoritarians of his limited world view. His are not the behaviors appropriate to a world renowned leader. How would the world react to MagaMike visiting a country such as Taiwan, or India, or even England or Canada? He just does not carry that kind of weight. If we can consider MagaMike as lightweight, how would we classify the likes of Miss CrossFit Georgia, E. D. Matt, and even Mr. Abbot, who in a bout of pure insanity ordered the Texas National Guard to prevent the US immigration authorities from rescuing a woman and her children from drowning at his razor-wired border crossing. They died. Not even the love of a South Texas girl will relieve that pain, Greg. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if even Mother Maria refused to help you with that one.
The pursuit of the moral mundane is not a serious endeavor for the R Congressmen. It is cruel in the most hideous of ways. It defines the absence of critical thought in the practitioners. It’s as though they have missed the individual’s obligation to better the life of the people and the society of which they are charged to support and defend. That anyone in Congress claims that their instructions are of the morally mundane variety, it might be best if they find gainful employment as faith healers or carnival barkers. Something that the world does not have to depend on. Maybe one of them could make themselves useful and compile all of the Orange Crush’s favorite one-liners into a sad country song. It would be a hit like no one has ever seen. It would be colossal. No one will have ever heard a sadder country song. It will be more popular than Taylor Swift. Just imagine. What would Walter Mitty do?
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