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Abstract

5b04">Parenthood is another part of the process. There is so much you might miss from the pre-parenting days. But how much of today would you miss if you went back? The grass always seems greener on the other side because you feel a sense of loss. Imagine feeling a sense of abundance instead, about how much you have today that you didn’t have back then — and not just those kids, but within you.</p><p id="3108">You’ve put others first. You’ve taken them through the struggles and educated them. You’ve been their emotional rock. You’ve fed them, bathed them, cuddled them, and taught them everything you know. And in the process, you have gone through it all, sometimes with tears, sometimes with gritted teeth, sometimes with laughter. You have gained memories, experiences, and perspective. Most of all, you have gained love.</p><p id="bc10">You’re a badass. There’s no way the old you could do what you do today.</p><div id="b6bc" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/take-those-little-parenting-victories-seriously-df6be5d4d977"> <div> <div> <h2>Take Those Little Parenting Victories Seriously</h2> <div><h3>They’ll be your most prized possessions.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*id03TyT6K7L63-L1)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><h1 id="6718">You’ve Given So Much Of Yourself You Need Something Back</h1><p id="242e">I know what it’s like to need a hug, a shoulder, and still have to be the provider instead. When you fight back the tears because you’re so frustrated, but instead you still have to be strong for others. When you push your emotions aside to ensure your kids don’t see how hard life can be sometimes.</p><p id="9490">But you can be kind to yourself and claim some time.</p><p id="ac79">Time to cry. Time to be your own best friend. Time to go out for that coffee. Time to sleep in. Time to just be in your own company. Time to do nothing. Time to pamper yourself. Anything that has nothing to do with the humans you’re raising.</p><p id="d018">You can do it all. Just not all at once. But time management is just another skill you learn as a parent. It’s a struggle, but it’s possible.</p><p id="bffa"><b>First</b>, let go of the notion that you’re taking something away from anyone by giving yourself some hard earned love.</p><p id="e09e"><b>Second</b>, let yourself think about what you want and believe that it’s possible for you to do it.</p><p id="6311"><b>Third</b>, embrace the moment you get to do it.</p><div id="6e7d" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/learning-to-enjoy-motherhood-guilt-free-966e7fa38d58"> <div> <div> <h2>Learning To Enjoy Motherhood Guilt-Free</h2> <div><h3>undefined</h3></div> <div><p>undefined</p></div> </div> <div

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    </div><h1 id="caca">We See You</h1><figure id="c157"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*qR6knDMlASzu52HM"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@kris_ricepees?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Gary Bendig</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="64f9">Take the time to look at how much you’ve learned and how much you have received in turn of becoming a mother. Take the time to think about what you can do today to make yourself feel great and think about how you can implement it. Because you deserve it as much as anyone else.</p><p id="ef41">And remember — your kids appreciate you. Your loved ones admire you. You’re an inspiration to the generations behind you.</p><p id="9780">You’ve got this, mamma.</p><div id="2885" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://readmedium.com/is-the-over-glorification-of-motherhood-bad-d2f40faadd14">
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          <div>
            <h2>Is The Over-Glorification of Motherhood Bad?</h2>
            <div><h3>Views of an aspiring supermom.</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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    </div><div id="cc7e" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://readmedium.com/an-open-letter-to-my-son-86f31fa09284">
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          <div>
            <h2>An Open Letter To My Son</h2>
            <div><h3>On your 2nd birthday (Feb 20th, 2021)</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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      <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-resent-my-lifestyle-as-a-stay-at-home-mother-3339047da5ed">
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            <h2>I Resent My Lifestyle as a Stay-at-Home-Mother</h2>
            <div><h3>And I’m a little embarrassed.</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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    </div><p id="bc67"><b><i>Sylvia Emokpae is passionate about self-love, relationships, and motherhood. <a href="https://sylviaemokpae.medium.com/">See more work like this</a>.</i></b></p><p id="ed91"><a href="https://twitter.com/SylviaEmokpae"><b>Follow her on Twitter</b></a><b>.</b></p></article></body>

Stop Missing The Old You — You’re Better As A Mother

Happiness doesn’t have to be a thing of the past.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I get it. There are parts of you that you miss from before becoming a parent. You miss the extra time to do nothing, the freedom to do something, the limitless of life on your own.

Parenthood isn’t all butterflies and rainbows. It’s exhausting. It’s infuriating, frustrating, guilt-inducing. We do mostly embrace it all and we love the aspect of parenting but we don’t go through it without bumps on the road.

Sometimes those bumps consume us to the point of depression.

But Check Yourself Out, Girl

Look at yourself hard and reflect on what you’ve overcome as a parent. No matter where you are in your journey – whether your child is a baby, or whether you have more than one child, whether the kids are adults now, whether you’ve outlived them.

You’ve learned some hard-ass new skills too.

Think back to your hardest days. The loneliest, or the busiest. Think back to what you did to get through them. How you continued to drive to that appointment. Or how you gave yourself a break and canceled it. How you held your newborn despite being so exhausted you could barely lift her. How you were consumed with conflict about all your obligations as an adult that you didn’t know where to begin or what to give up.

How would the old you have reacted to those situations?

You’re a boss of life. Because you’re shaping your kids' lives while still figuring out your own. The multi-tasking going on inside you is a friggin’ miracle.

You’ve become resilient. You’ve become powerful. You’ve resisted those deep, raw, emotions and you’ve pushed through. You’re here right now reading this and you should know that you’re a superhuman.

Why would you want to go back to the old childish you? What could you possibly gain by throwing what you know today away?

You’ve Grown Up

Parenthood is another part of the process. There is so much you might miss from the pre-parenting days. But how much of today would you miss if you went back? The grass always seems greener on the other side because you feel a sense of loss. Imagine feeling a sense of abundance instead, about how much you have today that you didn’t have back then — and not just those kids, but within you.

You’ve put others first. You’ve taken them through the struggles and educated them. You’ve been their emotional rock. You’ve fed them, bathed them, cuddled them, and taught them everything you know. And in the process, you have gone through it all, sometimes with tears, sometimes with gritted teeth, sometimes with laughter. You have gained memories, experiences, and perspective. Most of all, you have gained love.

You’re a badass. There’s no way the old you could do what you do today.

You’ve Given So Much Of Yourself You Need Something Back

I know what it’s like to need a hug, a shoulder, and still have to be the provider instead. When you fight back the tears because you’re so frustrated, but instead you still have to be strong for others. When you push your emotions aside to ensure your kids don’t see how hard life can be sometimes.

But you can be kind to yourself and claim some time.

Time to cry. Time to be your own best friend. Time to go out for that coffee. Time to sleep in. Time to just be in your own company. Time to do nothing. Time to pamper yourself. Anything that has nothing to do with the humans you’re raising.

You can do it all. Just not all at once. But time management is just another skill you learn as a parent. It’s a struggle, but it’s possible.

First, let go of the notion that you’re taking something away from anyone by giving yourself some hard earned love.

Second, let yourself think about what you want and believe that it’s possible for you to do it.

Third, embrace the moment you get to do it.

We See You

Photo by Gary Bendig on Unsplash

Take the time to look at how much you’ve learned and how much you have received in turn of becoming a mother. Take the time to think about what you can do today to make yourself feel great and think about how you can implement it. Because you deserve it as much as anyone else.

And remember — your kids appreciate you. Your loved ones admire you. You’re an inspiration to the generations behind you.

You’ve got this, mamma.

Sylvia Emokpae is passionate about self-love, relationships, and motherhood. See more work like this.

Follow her on Twitter.

Motherhood
Parenting
Family
Mental Health
Self Care
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