Let’s Continue Over-Glorifying Motherhood

As an aspiring supermom, I want to be put on a pedestal.

Ok, let me get straight to the point. I like adopting the cliche image of a supermom. I aim to be her. I am her.

There, I said it.

That feels so good!

But before you start telling me how the over-glorification of motherhood is bad, hear me out.

The train of thought started when I read an interesting article in The Guardian titled “Why does writing about motherhood provoke so much rage?”

“Why would it provoke so much rage?” I thought, as I offendedly skim read it, eyeballs darting from sentence to sentence to find the answer so I could defend myself, considering motherhood is my niche.

The irony was too loud to ignore.

You’re telling me, that as a woman in the 21st Century who has the fought for and claimed freedom to do as she pleases, is now going to face rage and criticism for talking about one of the biggest life-changing events in her entire time on earth?

I wasn’t going to let it go lightly.

Why It Is Not An Interesting Topic

People who are not mothers aren’t going to be interested in motherhood until they become a mother or someone very close to them does (that is not their own mother).

Until/if those conditions are met, motherhood seems too ordinary to write/read about.

Another reason why it may not interest people is that it is not new. Motherhood is and has always been a role to fulfil, and many have written about it. However, how is motherhood supposed to stay relevant if it is not talked about? Or do we assume that since it is considered a saturated topic we just forget about it completely?

The Over-Glorification of Motherhood Puts Women Down and Provokes Rage

Motherhood is over-glorified. I get it.

The fact that society might paint images of a mother who is bossing life with a successful career and keeping up with her children’s extracurricular activities is a little unfair and sets the bar quite high for the rest of us.

But this motivates me to write about motherhood more. I write about my own personal accounts and bring to the table alternative (but still very common) views of motherhood — the struggles, the fear of failure, the changes in my identity, the everlasting feeling of guilt, and so on.

I accept that I am not perfect. Nobody is, and this is what needs to be highlighted.

I have felt the pressure of this impossible expectation recently — I have been battling my own views on motherhood and how I should live my life as an individual, not just as a mother.

The reality is that many women struggle with the ideals of becoming the perfect mother, let alone the pressure to desire to be this goddess of a woman. Life is hard. Women are humans. Choosing to become a mother is a life’s choice with huge consequences and identity shifts that are difficult to get through.

Motherhood Should Not be Conditioned Into Every Woman

Not every woman wants to become a mother. This should not be every woman’s ultimate goal. Unfortunately, in many countries, marriage and motherhood are still forced upon women.

This is a hot topic — and one I am very in line with.

Slowly, women are being encouraged to make different choices if they want to. It is OK not to want to have children and they shouldn’t feel pressure to become mothers. It is great if a woman decides to remain childfree and focus on her life’s goals instead.

Is it the job of advertising to break this pattern and start pushing images out there of alternative views of women to free them from oppression? Absolutely — it is the job of all of us to do what we can to ensure every woman’s freedom of choice.

Does that mean the already existing image of a perfect mother should be scrapped? Not necessarily, but I will get to that in a mo.

Underglorifying Motherhood

The more we talk about motherhood, the better picture we will have of motherhood. That is why more mothers should share their real-life experiences as mothers, and women who have made choices to have or not to have children should share their views too.

Every choice, every experience, is unique in one way or another. And yet, the more we talk about them, the more we can normalise them in order for them not to become boring and plain, but to simply be acknowledged and accepted.

Angelina Jolie’s phrase fits well here:

“The great thing about having a bunch of kids is that they just remind you that you’re the person who takes them to go poop. That’s who you are!”

There is nothing to be glorified about poop. Simple.

But… I Like the Supermom Look

The world photoshops the image of motherhood. It is taking the good from it and colour-popping it for everyone to see the ultimate happy goddess of a mother.

But, to me, the famous “they” are celebrating motherhood.

I agree that those in control of advertising, TV, film, and media need to represent all groups of people and perhaps they don’t do so enough.

But I personally like the Goddess mother. Not because I aspire to be one, even though I do.

But because I take the interpretation that this woman is happy because she is fulfilling all her goals, in motherhood, and as a human being.

She is happy because she loves her children, she loves her life, and she is bossing it. She is strong, independent, and owns her mind.

Whether I love being a mother or not (which, again, I do) I focus on the fact that this woman is doing her best to ensure her own wellbeing. It is not saying:

“To be happy, you must look like this and do exactly that.”

I choose to believe that they just want to show that happiness can be achieved for all women, in spite of the struggles and difficulties that we face.

Why are they choosing this absolute image of a woman to be a mother? Well, I would say a large proportion of women are actually mothers, and a large proportion of women also want to be mothers. Parenthood is a huge part of life. Rather than make other mothers jealous or feel incapable, I feel they just want to highlight the good side to it all.

I agree that women need to be put on a pedestal for simply being women, but not actually stop glorifying motherhood.

I understand many women don’t want to live up to the literal picture of the supermom.

But this image empowers me.

It tells me that, no matter what issues I am battling today, there is potential.

Potential to thrive no matter what. And that, readers, is what I aspire to do — both as a woman and as a mother.

Takeaway

Motherhood cannot become a saturated topic. That would just be the ultimate 2 steps back in women’s growth.

Glorifying motherhood has detrimental effects that need addressing. Women everywhere should be free to make the choice to do as they please with their lives and not face backlash and criticism from it.

But that doesn't mean we stop glorifying motherhood. I think instead, we need to celebrate women more, no matter what role they decide to take up.

The point is, all women should have the right to be happy and do what they want without harming themselves or others. Whether they want to be a mother or not is going to inevitably influence their identity — simply because any big change affects life. And parenthood is a big change, whether you choose to embrace it or not.

So, I will carry on glorifying motherhood, because I am a mother who wants with all her heart to bring up well-rounded and happy children, and to do that, I need to be well-rounded and happy in myself.

Sylvia Emokpae is passionate about self-love and motherhood. See more work like this.

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